Movie Quotes from Someone Like You: Quotes from the movie Someone Like You

#1 Are you feeling carniverous? #2 Absolutely.

#1 Do you promise not to laugh? #2 No.

#1 He’s not sleeping with somebody else. What are you talking about? Firstly he’s not like that at all and secondly the poor guy has been working until 3 in the morning for the last two weeks. #2 A. There is no such thing for a guy who hasn’t got time to sleep around cause there’s not such thing. And B, if he ain’t sleeping you he ain’t sleeping alone.

#1 So what you see is what you get, huh? #2 Minus a few grey hairs and a PHD, yeah.

#1 You were living in a fantasy. Romance, true love, soul mates, its all bullshit. None of it exists. Trust me, I speak from experience. #2 Man, she really did a number on you didn’t she. Well don’t shit on my broken heart because you’ve converted to some warped brand on romantic atheism. #1 Whoa. Its called self preservation. #2 Oh! In other words you narcotis yourself with casual sex. #1 No, no, no, that implies I’m avoiding reality when in reality I embrace it. Don’t underestimate casual sex Jane, its very liberating. #2 I’ll bet.

#1 There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they’ve left you, watching the distance between your bodies expand until there’s nothing… but empty space and silence.

#1 You know while you were out there buying these theories about the horrors of men, and why guys like Ray won’t ever come back, deep down inside you were hoping he would. *Men are evil, men are scum, but please Ray, won’t you make a liar out of me?* Well, you got what you asked for, Jane, he did go back, he just did it with the wrong girl. It’s over. Over. Why can’t you just let it go? #2 Because #1 Why? #2 Because I can’t #1 Why? #2 Because I was happy. Because if this theory is wrong, men don’t leave all women, Eddie, they leave me.

#1Who’s Penelope Pope? #2 I don’t know but thats what she said when i asked who the FUCK is this?!

(Reading her diary) Banana slugs, while mating the males chew each others penis’s off. I worry about you Jane, I really do.

1) Guess how answers the phone at 3AM, London time? 2) Who? 3) Penelope Pope 4) Who’s Penelope Pope? 5) I don’t know, but that’s what she said when I asked ‘WHO THE FUCK IS THIS’!

1)Ray asked me out 2) Ray? As in Ray Brown?! No! I forbid it! I thought you were over this?! 3) I’m having second thoughts… 4) Oh, so now Dr. Charles is having them also.

1)She’s right, he can’t go back to her. She’s an old cow. 2)Jane these are people! Not cows!

1)Why dont you just give it up!?
2)Because if its true men dont leave all women, they leave me!

1.So I call him, 1 pm Paris time, and guess who answers the phone? Penelope Pope. 2.Who’s Penelope Pope? 3.I don’t know, but that’s what she said when I said WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?

1: so you’re saying… 2: what have we got to lose? 1: everything 2: exactly.

Jane: What happened to your neck?
Eddie: I bit myself shaving.

A: there’s no such things as a man who doesn’t have time to fool around. they always have time for that. and B: if he ain’t sleepin with you, he ain’t sleepin alone.

Come on Steven. If you can’t stick it into a Valencia then how are you going to stick it in my arse.

Did you have any friends growing up?

Eddie preferred to leave things unsaid and went back to grazing greener pastures.

Eddie: Deep down inside you want him to come back, men are evil, men are scumbags but please Ray wont you make a lier out of me. Its over! why cant you just let it go? Jane: Because. Eddie: why? Jane: Because i was happy. Because if this theory is wrong, then men dont leave all women Eddie, they leave me! Eddie: I know what it does to you, i know. Maybe thats why we hold on as long as we do. Jane: look at me im a mess. Eddie: im looking at you. And your beautiful. Listen to me, you are beautiful. And Ray is not the last man your ever going to love. I promise you.

Eddie: You and Ray will live happily ever after with your matching Volvos and chocolate labs.

Eddie: You know while you were out there buying these theories about the horrors of men, and why guys like Ray won’t ever come back, deep down inside you were hoping he would. Men are evil, men are scum, but please Ray, won’t you make a liar out of me? Well, you got what you asked for, Jane, he did go back, he just did it with the wrong girl. It’s over. Over. Why can’t you just let it go?
Jane: Because
Eddie: Why?
Jane: Because I can’t
Eddie: Why?
Jane: Because I was happy. Because if this theory is wrong, men don’t leave all women, Eddie, they leave me.
Eddie: I know what it does to you. Maybe that’s why we hold on as hard as we do. You know we just can’t believe that such a miracle could ever happen to us twice. But it can. Someday you’ll find it again. I promise you.
Jane: Look at me, I’m a mess.
Eddie: I’m looking at you…and you’re beautiful. You are beautiful, and intelligent, and real.

every time im not with you…im thinking about you

Fun? I’m helping to concoct the background of a non-existent scientist whose about to publish her delusional theories in the nations top men’s magazine. You’re right, huh, this is fun.

Goodnight you psycho!

Got a little saddle sore on that white horse of yours?

I cannot feel my legs. What are we doing here? #2 Coming up for air.

I don’t know which is worse, the Ray’s of the world who shower you with charm and promises, or the Eddie’s of the world who just try to get down your pants.

I think its always about you, that’s what I think. You fall for some guy and its like men are worthy of some kind of hero worship. You get dumped and suddenly their shit sucking commitment phobic arseholes. I’m sorry Jane the world does not revolve around your romantic status.

I thought this bull had gone onto another new cow when in fact she was an old cow who had become a new cow again. But what was I talking about. I was comparing men to animals.

I was just thinking how good my apartment looks with you in it.

I’m just getting a kick out of the fact that I spent an entire night with you in my arms and I didn’t even cop a feel. Well, maybe one.

If I could just short-circuit my nose somehow, Dr. Klein, I may actually have a chance of living a semi-normal life someday

if my cow theorys not ture then not all men leave all woman, they leave me…just me

If someone had asked me not long ago why I thought it was that men left women and never came back, I would have said this. New Cow. The New Cow theory was born of a broken heart. It came to me while reading an article on male behaviour in the New York Times science section which chronicled a particularly fascinating study on the mating prefernces of the male cow. First a bull was presented with a cow. They mated. The next day the bull was presented with the same cow. The bull wasn’t interested. He wanted new cow. And this was new cow.

It must be love.

IT was right after she moved out. I just took and axe and started hacking away at it. I thought opening up that wall might make it easier to breathe or something.

Jane, these are PEOPLE not COWS

Maybe thats why we hold on for so long, Because we dont believe that the same miracle will happen to us twice.

Morphin for the pain

Never underestimate casual sex, Jane. It can be very liberating.

Oh My God! It usually takes a man a year to use the ‘L’ word and even then he is usually on top of you so it doesn’t really count.

Oh, can you believe this guy? So sensitive, so devastated when it comes to some CHUBBY FAT FRENCH guy but stomp on somebody’s heart in real life and where is his sorry arse pity then. No where. Why? Cause he doesn’t get, he never gets it. Somebody please explain it to me cause I don’t understand what you are talking about.

Oh, that’s rich coming from an emotional moron who is working his way through Manhatten, using women like ATM machines.

Only 5% of all male animals are monogomous. The other 95% are plugging Penelope Pope.

Ray has a cold. I am hoping it will turn into pneumonia and weeks of bedrest will cause his abdominal muscles to atrophy.

Ray is not the last man you’re ever going to love…

Ray will not be the last man you ever love.

Remember it is all about the get. We cannot make a splash if we only get the gets that everybody has already got. I need the ungettable. Got it?

remember time wounds all heals

So I call him up 1:00 am Paris time to say good night and guess who answers the phone? Penelope Pope.Who’s Penelope Pope?I don’t know, but that’s what she said when i asked who the FUCK is this!!

Someone like you.

Sometimes you’re so hell bent on making things fit that you miss out on all the fun.

the saddest thing is watching the distance between us grows farther

The ungettable get.

There are a few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they’ve left you, watching the distance between your bodies expire until there’s nothing but empty space and sadness.

There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk after they have left you. Watching the distance between your bodies expand until there is nothing but empty space and silence.

There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they’ve just left you, watching the distance between your bodies expand until there’s nothing but empty space and silence.

There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they’ve left you, watching the distance between your bodies expand until there’s nothing… but empty space and silence.

There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they’ve left you…watching the distance between your bodies expand until there’s nothing but empty space and silence.

These are people. Not cows!

Throughout the animal kingdom prey species have kept a wide variety of escape behavior
1) Freezing is the common response to predator alarm; sensing danger many animal would assume a rigid statue like position
2) Fleeing is another popular method some species will simply try to outrun their captors while others take an erratic zigzag course in the hopes that sudden direction shifts would suddenly tire the predator causing here to give up the chase.

Time wounds all heels.

What’s that they say about the love of a good woman?
That once offered, it’s guaranteed to come back and bite her in the ass.

Who’s Penelope Pope?

Wow! There’s the sinical bitch I know and love!

Wow, there’s the cynical bitch we know and love.

You are.

You book em i cook em.

You find a guy who will sit with you when you’re knee deep in Kleenex and your face looks like a punching bag. And he can say that Ray is not the last man you’ll ever love.

You never think that such a miracle can happen to you twice. You will find it again Jane. #2 The thing that scared me most last night, was when you said I would find it again. Because I have.

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