Hula teacher: Lilo, why are you late?
Lilo: It’s Thursday!
*Teacher gives Lilo a weird look*
Lilo: *sigh* Every Thursday, I give Pudge the fish a sandwich, but we were out of peanut butter!
Hula teacher: Pudge is a….fish?
Lilo: So I asked my sister what I should give him, and she said tuna. I can’t give Pudge tuna! *whispers* Do you know what tuna is?
Hula teacher: It’s….fish….
Lilo: IT’S FISH!!!!! I can’t give Pudge fish! If I gave Pudge fish, I’d be an abomination! I had to go to the store, and buy peanut butter, cause all we had WAS STINKIN’ TUNA!!!!
Hula teacher: Lilo! Lilo! Why is this so important to you?
Lilo: Pudge controls the weather.
Myrtle: She’s crazy…..
*Lilo jumps on Myrtle and starts beating the crap out of her*
‘It’s like War of the Worlds.’
‘The water’s contaminated.’
(1)Merrill, how’s work at the gas station? (2)Stimulating.
(1)Morgan, this crop stuff is just about a bunch of nerds who never had a girlfriend all their lives. Their like thirty now. They make up secret codes and analyze Greek mythology and make secret societies where other guys who never had girlfriends can join in. They do stupid crap like this to feel special. It’s a scam. Nerds were doin’ it twenty five years ago and new nerds are doing it again. (2) It’s just static, Morgan. Frequency. [Weird nosies come from the baby moniter.] (3)It’s a code. (4)Why couldn’t they get girlfriends?
(1)What should I say? (2)I don’t know, be angery! [They both run outside the house and split up] (1)I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASSES IN!! (2)I’M VERY ANGERY!!
(Graham and Merill split up to cath thives.)
Graham:Aaaaaaaaaaa!I a insine with the anger!
Merill:We gonna kick your ass,bitch!
(Merill stop,butt heard something and run again.)
Merill:We gonna rip your head off!
Graham:I losing my mind!It,s time for ass-whooping!
(They both stop running)
Graham:I cursed.
Merill:I heard it.
(Graham opens the closet door) Merrill: For the kids’ protection. All they were doing was watching T.V. from 5 a.m. I felt like they were getting obsessed like you said. They should go out and play furry furry rabbit or tea party or something. Graham: What’s furry furry rabbit? Merrill: It’s a game isn’t it?
– Bimbu?
– Dad!
– I just asked his name.
– You had a tone.
– Dad? What happened? Did someone save me?
– Yes, I think someone did.
– Do you really hold the minor league strike-out record?
– Felt wrong not to swing.
– Father, do you understand what I’ve told you?
– This is the last time I’m going to speak to my wife.
– Yes, it is.
– It was very dark.
– Yes, it was.
– Should we turn off the lights? – They already know we’re here.
– That’s why he had asthma. His lungs were closed. No poison got in.
– Where are you going?
– To the lake. None of these crop signs are near water. I don’t think they like water.
– Who wrote this book?
– Scientists who are persecuted because of their beliefs.
– That means they’re unemployed.
– You have 2 minor league records, don’t you?
– Five.
– Why aren’t you in the pros, making stacks of cash and having your toes sucked by beautiful women?
-Don’t give him that water, it’s dirty. -Bo, he licks his butt, I don’t think he will mind.
-Good enough for me.
-Me too.
-I cursed.
-I heard.
-Merrill, how’s work at the gas station?
-Stimulating.
-What’s wrong?
-I don’t hear my children.
-You’re sacring your sister.
-I’m already scared.
1) You’re too old to still be doing this. You take a glass of water and you finish it. (Picks up a glass of water) Now, what’s wrong with this one? 2)It has dust in it. 1) (Picks up another glass) This one? 2)A hair. 1)(Picks up 3rd glass) This one? 2)Morgan took a sip from it, and it has his amebas in it.
1) You’re too old to still be doing this. You take a glass of water and you finish it. (Picks up a glass of water) Now, what’s wrong with this one? 2)It has dust in it. 1) (Points to second glass) This one? 2)A hair. 1)(Picks up 3rd glass) This one? 2)Morgan took a sip from it, and it has his amebas in it.
1)Some people are probably thinking this is the end of the world. 2)That’s true.
1)Do you think it could be? 2)Yes. 1)How can you say that?! 2)That wasn’t the answer you wanted?
1. I cursed. 2. I heard
1: C’mon, now, you’re too old to be doing this. What’s wrong with this glass of water?
2: It’s got dust floating in it.
1: And this one?
2: A hair.
1: And this one?
2: Morgan took a sip and it’s got his amoebas in it.
1: Did you get a clear shot at this person?
2: No, he ran off before I saw him.
1: How do you know it was a him?
2: Well, this person was really fast.
1: I’ve seen many fast woman. The female Scandinavian long jumpers in the Olympics are really fast.
2: OK, well, besides the possibility that an Olympian Scandinavian Long Jumper broke into our farm last night, who would you say it was?
1: I cursed.
2: I heard.
1: I moved the TV in here for the kids sake. So they wouldn’t get obsessed, like you said. They had already been watching for ten hours straight. I figured they should be playing Furry, Furry Rabitts or something.
2: What’s Furry, Furry Rabbits?
1: It’s a game, isn’t it?
1: What kind of a machine bends a stalk of corn without breaking it?
2: It can’t be by hand, it’s too perfect
1: What should I say?
2: I don’t know, be angry!
[They both run outside the house and split up]
1: I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASSES IN!!
2: I’M VERY ANGRY!!
1:It’s time for an ass whooping! 2:This is not an intelligent way to approach this
1:Why do you think boarding up the windows and doors will work?2:Because they seem to have trouble with pantry doors
Bo: Dad, where’s the remote?
Father: I don’t know, check under the sofa cushions.
Bo: I don’t want you to die.
Morgan: Who said I was gonna die?
Graham: Did you see something, Ray?
Ray: I guess if this is the end of the world, I’m screwed, right?
[Morgan gives the dog a bowl of water.] Bo: Don’t give him that water, it’s dirty! Morgan: Bo, He licks his own butt, I don’t think he’ll mind.
And Graham, tell him to see.
Are you in my dream too?
Aside from the possibility that a Scandinavian, female, Olympic athlete was running around outside our house last night, what other possibilities are there?
Bo, when your mother had you, it was the most amazing thing. When they handed you to her, you smiled at her. The doctors said it was unusual because newborns never smile when they are born.
Bo: Don’t give him that water, it’s dirty!
Morgan: Bo, He licks his own butt, I don’t think he will mind.
Bo: Why cant they get girlfriends
Dad)Bimboo? Son)If you’re gonna joke about it the foreget it Dad) I just asked his name Son)You had a tone
Don’t be afraid!
Don’t go in my pantry father. I locked one in there.
Don’t open my pantry door, Father. I found one of them in there and I locked him in.
Don’t open my pantry father, I found one in there and locked him in.
Everybody in this family needs to just calm down and eat some fruit or something.
Excluding the possibility that a female Scandinavian olympian was running around outside our house last night, what else might be a possibilty?
Felt wrong not to swing.
graham
Graham: My vote counts as two
Morgan: That’s bullshit! You’re cheating!
Graham: Morgan, calm down. I get two votes cause I represent two parents here.
Morgan: We don’t know anything yet….
Graham: You’re too old to still be doing this, now what’s wrong with this one?
Bo: It has dust in it.
Graham: And this one?
Bo: A hair.
Graham: This one?
Bo: Morgan took a sip and it has his amoebas in it.
Graham:Bo you got to stop doing this, whats wrong with this water?
Bo:It has dust in it
Graham:This one?
Bo:It has hair in it
Graham:And this one?
Bo:Morgan drank out of it and now it has his ameobas in it
He looked like a lumberjack choppin down a tree
I hate you!
I think God did it.
I’m a miracle man!
I’m going to have a bacon-cheeseburger. Extra bacon.
I’m gonna have a cheesburger with bacon…extra bacon.
I’m insane with anger!
Is douchbage a curse?
Is that him?
It didn’t feel right not to swing…
It was like it was meant to be. I could of fallen asleep at any time and just woken up in a ditch with a headache. It had to be that exact moment when I was driving by her.
It’s happening.
It’s like War of the Worlds.
It’s not contaminated. You don’t even know what that word means.
Merril: Should we turn off the lights??!!
Graham: …..They already know we’re here.
Merrill: Morgan, this crop stuff is about a bunch of nerds who never had a girlfriend in their lives, they’re like 30 and they work up little codes together and analyze Greek mythology and make up secret societies where other guys who never had girlfriends before can join in. They do stupid crap like this to feel special. It’s a scam. Nerds were doing it 25 years ago and new nerds are doing it again. Graham: It’s just static Morgan… turn it up and see. Morgan: It’s a code. Bo: Why can’t they have girlfriends?
Merrill: Move, children! Vamanos!
Morgan, after you were born, the doctor gave you to your mother. When she first looked at you, you just stared right back. You both just stared at each other for longest time, and you didn’t even cry.
Morgan, this crop stuff is just about a bunch of nerds who never had a girlfriend in their lives. They’re like thirty now. They make up secret codes and analyze Greek mythology and make secret societies where other guys who never had girlfriends can join in. They do stupid crap like this to feel special. It’s a scam. Nerds were doin’ it twenty five years ago and new nerds are doing it again.
Move children, vamanos!
News Reader: What you’re about to see, may disturb you.
One time, I was at this party… and I was sitting on the couch with Randa McKinning. She was just sitting there, looking beautiful, and staring at me. So, I lean in to kiss her, and I realize I have gum in my mouth. So, I turn to spit it out and put it in a little paper cup that was sitting by the couch. I turn back, and Randa McKinning throws up all over herself. I knew the moment it happened, it was a miracle. I could have been kissing her when she threw up. It would have scarred me for life. I may never have recovered
One time, I was at this party… and I was sitting on the couch with Randa MnKinning.She was just sitting there, looking beautiful, and staring at me. So, I lean into kiss her, and I realize I have gum in my mouth. So, I turn to spit it out and put it in a little paper cup that was sitting by the couch. I turn back, and Randa McKinning throws up all over herself. I knew the moment it happened, it was a miracle. I could have been kissing her when she threw up. It would have scarred me for life. I may have never recovered. I’m a miracle man.
People break down into two groups when the experience something lucky. Group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching over them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just happy chance. And surely, the people in Group number two are looking at those fourteen lights in very suspicious way. For them, the situation is fifty-fifty. Could be bad, Could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they’re on their own. And that fills them with fear. Yeah, there are those people. But there’s a whole lot of people in the Group number one. When they see those fourteen lights, they’re looking at a miracle. And deep down, they feel that whatever’s going to happen, there will be someone their to help them. And that fills them with hope. So what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you: are you the kind that sees signs, sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?
Swing Away Merrill, Merrill swing away
Swing away Merrill, swing away.
Swing away Merrill, Swing away…
Swing away, Merrill.
Tell Merrell to swing away.
The nerds were right.
There’s a monster in my closet, can I have a glass of water?
There’s a monster outside my room, can I have a glass of water?
There’s a monster outside my room, can I have a glass of water?
Theres nothing wrong with your water, bo’s had it since she was a baBY
They can’t take a piss without wetting the front of their pants.
This is excatly what the nerds want…
Tracy Abernathy: Father, i cursed 37 times last week. Mostly it was ‘*shit*’ and… ‘*bastards*’… Is douchbag a curse?
Graham Hesse: well, i suppose that would depend upon how it was used.
T.A.: How about: ‘John, you’re a douchbag for kissing Martha’?
G.E.: it’s a curse.
T.A.: Then… it’s not 37, it’s 71.
Why can’t they get girlfriends?
You just have to ask yourself what kind of person are you. Are you the type that sees signs? Sees miracles? Or do you think that people just get lucky? Maybe there are no coincidences.
You just stared at each other for the longest time and then she said real soft, ‘Hello Morgan, I’m your mama. You look just like I dreamed.’
You’ll lose the signal!
You’re too old to still be doing this, you take a glass of water and you finish it. Now what’s wrong with this one? It has dust in it…THis one? A hair… This one? Morgan took a sip and it has his amiebas in it.
[Giving the dog a bowl of water.]
1: Don’t give him that water, it’s dirty!
2: [name], He licks his own butt, I don’t think he will mind.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Signs’: Quotes from the movie ‘Signs’
