I have a masters in manipulation from the University of Bilko.
1) Speaking of Doberman, can I please have another roommate?
2) …What’s the matter with Doberman?
1) He wet the bed!
2) Oh, well, every once and awhile…
1) No, he did it from across the room.
1)Ernie you got Popperellie to dress in drag to make me jealous? 2)For your information Popperellie was already in drag!
1)I don’t think the guys like me
2)…What makes you think that?
1)They wrote me a note: ‘Dear _____, we don’t like you.’
1)It is my understanding that you can no longer ask me these questions.
2)It’s a new army, sir, we’re all adjusting.
1)Sgt. Bilko get up! 2) Ok men! Man the battle statitions, prepare for battle!…what is that music?
1)that’s horseshit, sir/
2) whatever for?!?!?!/
3) it keeps the flies off the food, sir/
4) OFF THE FOOD??!?!?/
5) uh yes,it’s an experimental program….i’d say the results are mixed.
1)You didn’t tell me there was a movie star on the post. Miss Sharon Stone the men will be so excited. 2)Bilko will you.. 1)We’ve seen all your movies, well except for Indescent Purposal ‘it was a little too racey for me’ and..2)BILKO! 1)Yes my Cornole!
1- Permission to speak freely, sir!
2- Permission…what are we, in Russia? Say whatever you want.
1. Remember when I got that letter from my wife, saying she wanted to break up with me? 2. So, he got your wife back? 1. No, he got me a new wife, a BETTER wife!
Ah Doberman, the son I never wanted
All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
Bilko: Doberman, it’s that time of the decade. You’re taking a shower today.
Doberman: Aw, do I have to?
Bilko: Everyone feels pretty strongly about it. Here’s the petition.
Doberman: Aw, Sarge!
Bilko: You’ve all seen real soldiers, just do what they do! Do the pull-the-rifle-up-by-the-shoulder thing!
Can’t is a four letter word!
Colonel Hall: Very well, as you were. Sgt. Bilko to platoon: He means go back to what you were doing.
Come-on boys!
Dig deep, baby! – Private Dino Paparelli
Dino: No, he got me a new wife, a better wife!
Doberman doesn’t take showers either but for a different and much more frightening reason..
General: I want just one shred of proof to support these preposterous allegations! Thorn: Here you go, the super control fire elevation board! I took it out last night, so HOW can it work?
I am paralyzed, I have no feeling from the hair down. Make the bad man stop!
I cant barely move my legs
Do me a favor and kill me now
Something something rhymes with legs
My life is over any how
If they come, deny everything! Just act dumb. Fender, I’m putting you in charge of that.
In fact, that’s what we’ll call it!They won’t die!
Look.. he’s cheating on you already with Popperellie!
Major Thorn: If any of this is frightening, just hold onto me.
Rita: They’re dancing raisinettes.
Make the bad man stop!
Maybe right now I don’t need a plan. Maybe what I really need is a little puppy with big brown eyes to come and lick my face and love me no matter what kind of person I am!
Of course I have a plan, but maybe what I need is not a plan, maybe what I need is a little puppy who will just lick my face and love me no matter what kind of person I am
Ok, drop and give me twenty! (After a long time of trying and failing) Ok one, we are going for one!
Paparelli: ‘member when I got dat lettah from my wife? Saying she wanted ta break up wid me?
SGT. BILKO! Yes my colonel?!!!
This horse was not this lively this morning. I order this horse drug tested. Quick someone get a urine bottle and a mop
This is (add name here) he’s the smart one. He has an IQ…
This is Zimmerman. Practically, Zimmerman was born without a personality. -Sgt. Bilko
Thorn: You’re the CO, which means you have certain powers. Hall: Powers? Thorn: Isn’t it possible that you can have a certain soldier trans…Hall: Trans…atlantic? Thorn: Trans… Hall: …vestite? Transferred!
What are the last 2 letters in the name Bilko? KO!
Wow, sir! Have you lost weight?
You’re gonna laugh, you’re gonna cry, you’re gonna love this scrappy little Italian.
Zimmerman: (commenting on picture of family on dresser) It’s the cast from my favorite tv show…the African-American hour.
Colonel: I’ve never heard of it.
Zimmerman: It’s on cable. (looking at Thorn) See, it’s funny…but it also makes you think.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Sgt. Bilko’: Quotes from the movie ‘Sgt. Bilko’
