Movie Quotes from Rounders: Quotes from the movie Rounders
(1) Alright, things haven’t been so great on the homefront so umm, tone it down a little. (2) Tone down what motherfucker? (1) Great
(1) You know it’s just like how the sayings go. In the poker way of life, women are the rake. The are the fuckin rake. (2) What the fuck are you talking about? What saying? (2) I don’t know…but there oughta be one
(Mike)I’m gonna call you or else I won’t respect myself tomorrow morning. (KGB) Respect is all you have left in the morning.
…Like they teach you in One-L, Caveat Emptor pal.
1 – how did you know i was gonna come back?
2 – thats easy, who’s your favorite actor?
1) Call me… If you ever need a lawyer. 2) I will… And I will.
1) Would you stop fucking around, for five goddamn minutes for once in your fucking life? 2) Whoa, Jesus, what happenend? My old man just walked in.
1)Did you have it? 2)Sorry John, I don’t remember
1)Give me a call if you ever need a lawyer.
2) I will…and I will.
1)How am I s’possed to concentrate with you lookin like that? 2) Oh, not right now, Im gonna be late 1)Oh, come on, we can be quick, and I promise you won’t feel a thing
1)It’s just like the expression. In the poker game of life women are the rake. 2)What expression? There’s no expression. 1)Well there ought to be one.
1)Its just like the saying says, you know. In the poker game of life, women are the rake. They’re the fucking rake. 2) What the fuck are you talking about? What saying? 1) I don’t know. But there ought to be one.
1)Yeah, and what did I ever do to that guy? 2)You fucked his mother 3)But you have to admit she was a good looking older woman
1. gramma brought up all my debt. 2. that turn coat motherfucker.
1. It hurts doesn’t it. You can’t belieeeeve what fell. All your dreams, this. Hopes down the fucking drain. Your fate, is sitting right beside you. That ace could not have helped you. I…bet it…all…
2. You’re right Teddy, the ace didn’t help me. I flopped the nut straight.
1. You know what makes me feel better when im down, rolled up aces over kings. 2. Yea. 1. Yea, check-raising stupid tourists and taking huge pots off them. 2. Yea. 3. Playin all night high-limit hold-em at the taj. Stacks and towers of checks I cant even see over. 2. Fuck it lets go. 1. Dont tease me. 2. Lets play some fucking cards.
alright meester son of beetch, lets play some cards
Alright, give me 3 stacks of high society
Always leave yourself outs.
As Canada Bill Jones said, it’s immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
As Canada Bill Jones says, it’s immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
Attendant: Tell me Something. Can Steinbrenner just fucking move the Yankees? Can he do that.
Mike: I don’t know. how should I know?
Attendant: What, you didn’t learn that yet?
Mike: No, we get to STeinbrenner in the 3rd year of law school.
Buy some real fuckin jewerly
Da FUCK did you lay that down
do you like apples? well i got her number, how do you like them apples?
Don’t splash the pot…
Few players recall big pots they have won — strange as it seems — but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career.
Fuck ME? Fuck YOU
Gimme 2000. On the Finger? Listen Princess, I’m gonna double that in an hour.
Gimme three stacks of high society.
Give me three stacks of high society.
Go buy some real jewerly you cheap bastard! *Worm*
Gramma, I need your charity like I need your cock in my ass
Grammo, nobody’s saying you’re not the man
Handed down from Knish to rounders who forgot the cardinal fucking rule….always leave yourself outs.
Hanging around, hanging around. The kids got alligator blood.
Hanging arrround, hanging arrround, kids got alligator blood, cant get rrrid of him
I always told her she’d make a good card player, she knew exactly when to through away a shitty hand.
I am making it look like i am pondering a call but all I am really thinking about is Vegas and the fucking Mirage
i am making it look like i am pondering a call but all im realling thinking bout is Vegas and the fucking Mirage
I am making it look like i am pondering a call, but all I am really thinking about is Vegas and the fucking Mirage
I am still up 20 grand from this last time i stick it in you!
I can’t believe I caught a hanger!
I could have let KGB chomp on those oreos all night, but I only have until morning……….Y da fuck did jew lay zat down, you should have paid me off on that hand…..Im still up 20 grand from the last time in (cluck cluck cluck) stick it in you……Rounds is the best movie ever
I could have let KGB chomp on those oreos all night, but I only have until morning……….Y da fuck did jew lay zat down, you should have paid me off on zat hand…..Im still up 20 grand from the last time I (cluck cluck) stick it in you……Rounders is the best movie ever
I don’t remember how I built my bank roll, but I cant stop forgetting how I lost it.
I F**K you like Donkeee
I feel like Buckner walking back into Shea
I felt like Buckner walking back into Shea
I flopped a nut straight
i make the lay downs that no one else can make
I need $15,000…15?…I need a blowjob from Kirstie Turlington…fuck outa here fifteen thousand dollars
I often time see people with their back to the wall, 1 card left in the deck to save them.
I told Worm you can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle, but you can’t win much either
I’m back where I started with three stacks of high society.
I’m still up 20 grand from this last time I stick it in you!!
Iâ€™ve often seen these people, these squares at the table, short stacked and long odds against them, all their outs gone, one last card in the deck that can help them. I used to wonder how they could let themselves get into such bad shape and how the hell they thought they could turn it around.
If you can’t spot the sucker in the first half hour, then you are the sucker!
If you had to do it again, would you make the same choice?
if you want to see this seventh fucking card stop speaking fucking sputnik, i know your probably talking about snow and progies and shit…
If you’re too careful, you’re whole life can become a fucking grind
If you’re too careful, you’re whole life can become a fucking grind.
Ill be quick you won’t feel a thing
In my club, I’ll splash ze pot venever ze fuck I pleez!
In my clubb, i splice the pot when ever da fuck I please
In my place I’ll spelash da pot when ever da fuck I weant
In the poker game of life women are the rake.
in the poker game of life, women are the rake, theyre the fucking rake
In the poker game of life, women are the rake……the fucking rake.
Is that Fat Greggie sitting 20-40? The game’s that soft?
It hurts doesn’t it? Your hopes dashed, your dreams down the toilet. And your fate is sitting right besides you.
It’s a fucking joke anyways
its like the nature channel,you dont see pirahnas eating each other
Jacks? Does he look like a man beaten by JACKS?
Just like a young man coming in for a quicky, I feel so unsatisified.
Just like a young man in for a quickie. I feel so unsatisfied.
Lays down a monster. The fuck did you lay that down?
lays down a monster…why da fuckkk did you lay that down?
what Teddy? not hungry?
listen, here’s the thing, if you can’t spot the sucker in you 1st half-hour of the table, then you are the sucker.
Listen. Here’s the thing. If you can’t spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table…. then you are the sucker.
Lot of action, a lot of Action
M: I dont really play cards:
GF: Bullshit, Worm tells me that’s exactly what you do
Mike: how much was the hooker
Worm: mike please,relaxation therapist
Mike: i never told anybody this, but about 8,9 months ago i was at the Taj, it was late and i saw Johnny Chan walk in and he goes and sits 300/600. the whole place stops cause Johnny chan walks in & everybody put an eye on him. after a while there wasnt a craps game goin cause all the high rollers were over there watchin and some of them were sittin down playing but they were giving there money to this guy so they can say they played with a world champion. so what did i do? i sat down. Kinish: Naa, you need 50,60 grand to play right in that game. Mike: well i had six, but i had to know…..
Mike: I’ll reraise..Knish: Reraise?
Mr. Son of a Bitch. Let’s Play some carrrds!
NO LIMIT TEXAS HOLD ‘EM. THE CADILLAC OF POKER.
No limit Texas hold’em is the Cadillac of poker
Oh I dont doubt your talent.
ok mister son of bitch let’s play some cards
Pay him. Pay that man his money.
rolled up aces over kings
So like I said, the Deans bet is twenty dollars.
suck my huge cock till cum splashes you in the eye frmkie janksen!
Summer clerkship in your office says I know what you’re holding. I dont bet with jobs like that. If your right lets just say I’ll put you at the top of the list. Alright, you were looking for that third three but you forgot that professor green folded it on fourth street, now youre doing your best to represent that you have it. The DA made his two pair but he knows they’re no good, Judge Kaplan was hoping to squeeze out a diamond flush and Mr. Eisen is futily hoping his queens are gonna stand up. So like I said, the dean’s bet is twenty dollars.
That’s just an old habit with me…like breathing
That’s right Teddy, the ace didn’t help. I flopped the nut straight.
That’s right Teddy. The ace didn’t help me. I flopped the nuts straight.
thats right just like a young boy coming in for a quickie I feel so unsatesfied!!
this wasnt even a real game, this was like wiffle ball
Three stacks of high society..
Top two pair on the flop
We can’t run from who we are, our destiny chooses who we are
We can’t run from who we are. Our destiny chooses us.
Well, as my uncle used to say, When the money’s gone it’s time to move on
Well, I have what is known as the wheel… Umm, its got earthy tones, a smooth draw, enough kick to win me the Hi and the Low!
Well, like my uncle Les says, when the moneys gone, its time to move on.
Where did you come up with the scratch for that? You’ve been rolling fags in the Village again, haven’t you?
whered you get the bank for that? youve been rolling fags in the village again havent you
With those fake Versace shirts and shit? Jesus.
Worm: Fuck you and your never ending string of boats.
Worm: Can you believe that? She’s really got him by the balls.
Petra: Is that so bad?
Worm: Depends on the grip.
worm:Man what a fucking waste, shes grabbed him by the nutts…..GF:Is that bad?…Worm:It all depends on the grip
worm:was that like your strong finnish or somthing
worm: what!? you leave me no choice the way you play…!
inmate: thats the fourth time you dun played the bitch of spades on my ass
worm: no no no darling over here had it three hands ago, and 2 hands ago i got the black mariah’s, so i dont wanna hear your bitchen
inmate: yeah~! he shot the moon on that hand didn’t he. . .so it helped you
Wow, all of the sudden my father just walked into the room. Yeah i should beat the shit out of you like he used to.
Ya shoulda played those kings Mike!
You can sheer a sheep many times, but skin him only once.
You can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle … but you can’t win much, either
You can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle, but you can’t win much either.
You can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle…but you can’t win much, either.
You can’t lose what you don’t throw in the middle. Course, you won’t win much either.
You donâ€™t hear much about guys who take their shot and miss, but Iâ€™ll tell you what happens to â€˜em – they end up humping crappy jobs on graveyard shifts trying to figure out how they came up short.
You know Gramma. I need you charity like i need your cock in my ass
You know what always cheers me up? Rolled up aces over kings. Check-raising stupid tourists and taking huge pots off of them. Playing all-night high-limit Hold’em at the Taj, where the sand turns to gold. Stacks and towers of checks I can’t even see over.
you know what cheers me up when im feeling shitty… rolled up kings over aces.. check raising stupid tourist, stacks and towers of checks i can’t even see over, playing all night high limit holdem at the taj where the sand turns to gold, fuck it lets go, dont tease me… fuck it lets play some cards!
You know what? Fuck you and your never ending string of boats, okay?
you know, if we wanted to take each others money, we could have just stayed at home.
You said just jacks! You’re a player Maurice you made me for the sevens. FUCK!
you sat down with the mad russian and he emptied your pockets
You sat down with the mad Russian and he emptied your pockets.
You satisfied now Teddy cause I can go on busting you up all night.
you son of bitch, all day long check check check
you tricked me.
You wanna know what makes me feel better? rolled up aces over kings.
You were lookin’ for that third three, but you forgot that Professor Green folded on Fourth Street and now you’re representing that you have it. The DA made his two pair, but he knows they’re no good. Judge Kaplan was trying to squeeze out a diamond flush but he came up short and Mr. Eisen is futilely hoping that his queens are going to stand up. So like I said, the Dean’s bet is $20.
You were looking for that third three, but you forgot that Professor Green folded it on Fourth Street and you’re doing your best to represent that you had it. The DA made his two pair, but he knows they’re no good here. Judge Kaplan was looking to squeeze out that diamond flush, but he came up short. And Mr. Eisen is futilely hoping tha this queens’ll stand up. Like I said, the professor’s bet is twenny dollars.
You’re right. I don’t have spades.
You’ve been rolling fags in the village again havnt you?
You, you tricked me… All night, check, check. You beat me… straight up. Now pay that man, pay that man his money.
Your dreams – are phoouh
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