Movie Quotes from Pest, The: Quotes from the movie Pest, The

(1)Don’t be such a sissy!
(2) I don’t know if you’ve noticed lately, father, but I am a sissy!

yes yes, I am from far far south, everybody know it a different dialect, ita a different dialect.

(1) Father, I don’t want to participate in this, I think it’s wrong.
(2) You have to learn sometime.
(1) Why would I ever have to learn how to hunt people?

(1) Why do they call you Fat Loser Boy?
(2) I don’t know. I think, ’cause I’m fat, and I never win.

(1) You and your snake obsessions.
(2) If you don’t like my obsession, maybe you shouldn’t have locked me in a room with a snake for six weeks!
(1) Are you on that again?
(2) Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bore you with the defining trauma of my life.

(1)Anything you have to say to me, you can say it in front of Malaria.
(2) Anything?
(1 & 3) Anything.
(2) Fine. Malaria has mossy teeth, dandruff, and a fat butt.


(1)Don’t flatter me!
(2) Okay, you have a big nose, your feet stink, and your mother dresses you funny.

(1)I want you to experience the utter ecstasy that comes from feeling the hot, throbbing force of a man’s life, when it’s in your hands.
(2) I’m sold!

-But if for some reason I don’t make it could you start with Molaria?

-Someone has turned me into a walkee talkee…HELP ME HELP ME!

-When we find him…I want you to make the kill
-I don’t want to make the kill…I want to be a hairdresser and write musicals
_ohh you would love it…sit around and tell them about how you son sits around and dose hair all day and litens to ethal murman

1) Man, you suck. I mean you really suck. 2) I’ll show you to a table, sir. 1) Don’t show me a table, show me a way outta here!

1) Pest why don’t you go for a swim and just relax huh? 2) A swim?? OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVEN’T BEEN LISTENING! I’ve been swimming for the past 5 Hours!!!

1) You all have guns.. that’s it I’m not playing! I can’t hear you *la lala la la la…la la* That’s it? 2) Yeah! 1) That’s all I get?? Well, Well why don’t I get a rope and a candlestick and we can all play clue? I’ll be Con. Mustard and you can be Ms. Peacock!

1)What was your snake’s name? 2)Cocktoe. 1)Like the French playwrite?
2)Nin. After my two favorite body parts.

1. Why do they call you fat loser boy? 2. I dont know, I think its cause Im fat and I never win.

1:how’d you know i was a man? 2:because i could hear your gonads shakin’. you should really get some more support shorty.

AHH pet my snake, pet my snake!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. This is the most disgusting thing i have ever seen. those heads haven’t been dusted in months. i’m just gonna get wet rag a dust them off for u.

All lucky charms are magically delicious

Cocteau? Like the French playwrite? Nine. After my two favorite body parts.

Do mind if i talk to my girlfriend alone? anything you can say to me you can say infront of malaria! ANYTHING? ANYTHING!! ok . . . malaria has mossy teeth, dandruff and a fat butt!!! THESE JEANS MAKE ME LOOK FAT! no malaria your fat butt makes you look fat!! UGH PEST!!

FIRST PERSON: Malaria has mossy teeth, dandruff and a fat butt.
SECOND PERSON: These jeans make my butt look fat…
FIRST PERSON: No, Malaria, your FAT BUTT makes your butt look fat.

freak to the east freak to the west freak with big booty and big chest

Good luck to you, too. Well, actually, I take that back. I hope you don’t do well at all. Now that I think about it, I hope you get violated by pig-monkey men in the woods.

Gustav: Something is wrong.
Himmel: What could be wrong? We’re hunting a human being.

gustav: i saw you this morning
pest: you did?
gustav: i guess you didn’t see me. you were of course…blind at the time

himmel: why does leo get all the good jobs?

hunting? What are we going to hunt? well.. deer goose uh…. deergoose. ja, deergoose, it’s indigeneous to my island. To the hunt!

i cant hear you lala la lala la

I from FAR FAR FAR south, it a different dialect, errebody know dat, different dialect…Eat some grits ya’ll? Okay okay okay.

I like to boogie with my babes cruisin great. Playing 3 card money on thse crazy streets. Playing hustler pulled a scam man I’m in it. So low to the floor picked a pocket I’m a midget. Slick Shyster the pest meister living life in Miami’s vice. Nah see nobody messes ith the frogs see what I’m saying now? Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah. Nice lady I’m hurting I’m hurting. i’m sexy but I’m hurting. All right all ready. I’m ridic-ulic-ulic-ious like a booger I stick to this take a whiff of this. I’m stinky-dinky hahaha 2 stinkey-dinkey hahaha. (Voodo Mambo Chili Congo) Old school beat meets the Latin freak (Voodo ambo Chili Congo) and you don’t stop. (Voodo Mambo Chili Congo) nd you don’t stop. Old school beat meets the Latin freak (the Pest an me sweet Mambo) and you don’t quit and you don’t stop. Mirror mirror on the wall who s the slickest of them all? He’s the schemiest keenest scam artist. God it’ so hard to be modest! Jack might be nimble but I’m a sex symbol-so quick I stole a wick from his candlestick. I’m in the mood to scam simply because I can! I’m a Latin Houdini disapear in a flash with your cash and I’m back like a genie. Hahaha Lucy I’m home. Don’t do that to me Lucy! Freak to the east freak to the west freak big booties with a big chest. Yes Yes ya’ll like that why certainly nah nah! Get stupid get retarted cuz the Pest will get the party started. Which way did he go George? Which way did he go?(bbbbbbrrrrr!) Funkalocious Groovilocious Atrocious (Parrot:What a maroon! AW! What a maroon! AW! What a feak! What a sucker-butt!) I’m a man of a million disguises. I’m as crazy as they make em! I shake them I break them! So scientific hate to be specific E=MC2. You still there? You multiply it, divide, slide up inside it. Blend it mix it. DAMN I’M TERRIFIC!

I’m a latin hoodini, dispear in a flash with your cash and i’m back like a genie.

I’m from far far south everybody know it a different dialect, it’s a different dialect

I’m pretty sure her parent’s are gonna understand if you just explain to them that tonight’s not a good night, ’cause you’re being hunted!

I’m sorry I never please you!!!

IM in the mood to scam, simpy because i can.

im ridi-a-lic-olous like a booger a stick to this.

im stinky dinky two stinky dinky ewwwwwwwww

im very suseptable to airborne syphallises and whatnot

later masterbater

Look at me. I’m brooding, yet craving rich sauciness.

(Not sure if that’s right.)

love, peace and chicken grease

Love, peace, and chicken grease.


no hablo espanol….i am french….look at me a ruling yet craving rich susage…

Oh my, Grandma, what large pores you have.

ohhhhh this stuff be funky. what? you think i smell like this all the time?

OoOoOoOhhhh, I loveded it

over here. okay. no, over here. okay. no, over here. okay.

party’s are never mad ther are angry

Pest: How’s my girlfriend? Friend: She’s got a dart in her butt. Pest: Oh good, that’ll soak all the poison up.

Pest: i want some those shoes, i wants some of kakis i want a turtleneck and , u guys got guns thats it i’m notplayingtil i get a gun lalalalalala. thats it. 2: yea. Pest: this? 2:all urs. Pest: o well y dont i geta candlestick and we can all play clue i’ll be coniel mustard u can be mrs.peacock

Pest? Is that your name, or a personality trait.

Quackie! What have they did’d to you?

quacky quacky my poor quacky….

See you later masturbater!

the colour waaaalls, dom is that youuuu!

There is nothing common about the way I dance!

These people are all so… tiny

This is chinese? I knew somethin was goin on. The constant rambling, the chopsticks, the sudden disappearing dogs! And I just thought that they were ethnic Mexicans!

Well Heil Himmel! I mean, hi himmel, hi

Well, it looks like your hunt is over. I’m going back to the house before I miss Hogan’s Heroes.

what a maroon! what a maroon! what a freak! what a sucker butt!

What are you trying to do, perfume me to death?!

You defend yourself with a puny vial of . . . cat piss?

you tryed to hunt me

you;ll have to shoot me first. BANG. i cant believe you shot him! oh, hes wearing a bullet proof vest. dossnt mean it doznt huuurt.

Zanta)Anything you say to me you can say in front of Malaria Guy)anyyyything? Zanta & Malarie) Anything! Guy)Fine, Malaria’s got malty teeth, dander and a fat butt. Malaria)These jeans make me look fat Guy)I know Malaria, your fat butt makes you look fat

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