#1-Connor? #2-I’m ready John. #1-Birdie you with us? #3-Yep. #1-Good cause the Rangers are starting to breathe through their mouths. Their strides are getting shorter. Do not give these guys too much respect! THEY DIDN’T PULL THE DOG SLED DID THEY? THEY DIDN’T SKATE THE RIVER!
1) Stevie wouldn’t sleep with me! 2)Oh…so you two have already had….relations? 1)No, he came in the condom.
1. Dear Abby. All the words are crossed out. 2. Not the important ones.
1.)Women don’t like to be refered to as fat mammals, Skank. 2.)I’d have never have said it to her face.
Ahhh…a zamboni! I’m getting wet just thinking about it
Excuse me your honor, I’m fat.
For God sakes!!
forgive me your honor, i’m fat
He plays to play. He skates to skate. He don’t make a million bucks a year! He loves the games of hockey.
I fornicate and play hockey cause they’re the two most fun things to do in cold weather.
I have a toy pony, he takes big shits.
I have a toy pony. He takes big shits.
I have a toy pony. He takes big shits.
i play hockey and fornicate, because those are the two most fun things to do when it’s cold
I play hockey and fournicate, cause there the two most fun things to do in cold weather
I play hockey and I fornicate, ’cause those are the two most fun things to do in cold weather.
I’m a premature ejaculator!
I’m a premature ejaculator.
I’m not beaten. I’M NOT BEATEN! We’re in this game! Anybody here tired? ANYBODY HERE @#$% TIRED?
John Biebe: You okay?
Mr. Walsh: No, I’m not okay! Do I look okay? The fucker shot me! What the fuck-ass fuck of a bum-fuck shithole town is this? I make a business call. I give him my card. And the hick-ass fucker shoots my foot off! Cock-fucking shit!
Mama Walrus going thwap thwap thwap?
Mother Walrus going thwap thwap?
My nostrils just froze.
Sarah Heinz: Mother walrus going Thwap, thwap, thwap?
Matt Skank Marden: What?!
Sarah Heinz: You wanna hear a Thwap?
Sheriff John Biebe: Women don’t like being referred to as fat mammals, Skank.
Matt ‘Skank’ Marden: I never would’ve said that to her face.
She’s riding me like a wet walrus.
There’s more to the game than speed.
This is hockey, OK? It’s not rocket surgery.
This is hockey, okay? It’s not rocket surgery.
This is hockey, okay? It’s not rocket surgery.
If you don’t play this game with a lot of heart and a big bag of
knuckles, you don’t got dinky-doo.
Two things we’ve always had in Mystery is our dignity and our illusions. I suggest we cling to both.
Well, please excuse me your honor but I’m fat.
What the fuck ass fuck of a bumfuck shit hole town is this?
you aint got dinky-doo…
You know any place where a man can get a rub and a tug here?
You need to rub your hands on a nice warm yule-tied log.
[ Car won’t start, man gets out of car ]
Joey: F~~~ ME!
Man: Hey, what’d you say? [ Picks up kid, to older kid ] You teach him that?
Kid: He heard it in the locker room, Dad.
Man: From who?
Kid: EVERYONE! You know what it’s like in there.
[Car won’t start, John gets out of car.]
Joey: F### ME!
John: Hey, what’d you say?
[To other kid.]
John: You teach him that?
Older kid: He heard it in the locker room, dad.
John: From who?
Older kid: Everyone. You know what it’s like in there.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Mystery, Alaska’: Quotes from the movie ‘Mystery, Alaska’
