(1) What’s that on your face? (2) The ceiling…it seems to be coming down..
(ANNA) Walter? Where are you? (WALTER) I’m in the study! (ANNA) No, you’re not, I just looked in there (WALTER) I’m in the study, please believe me (ANNA) Walter? (WALTER) I’m in here. (ANNA) Now Walter, stop playing, this isn’t funny— (WALTER) I’m in…HEEEEERE!!!
(CHEAP GIRLS) We want to call ourselves Meryl Streep (WALTER) No, no, you can’t call yourselves Meryl Streep… (CHEAP GIRLS) Maybe she’ll be flattered (WALTER) No, in fact–considering your act, I can assure you a gigantic law suit…..
(JIMMY) Walter, why are you paying them back for? They have enough money already. (WALTER) Jimmy, you’re their manager, why are you telling me this? (JIMMY) Because I like you more than I like them (WALTER) But they’re your sister and your brother!
-I would help you with that but somebody stepped on all my fingers.
-Oh I’m so glad you’re here…I started halusinating a while ago the Care Bears were here.
-What happened. -Little problem in the kitchen, nothing trivial. -Well the turkey’s done. -So is the kitchen, in fact it’s a little overdone for my taste. -You don’t want to talk about it? -No, I just want to relax in a nice luke warm bath. (pour water into the bathtub and it falls through the floor)
-You love me and I love you. -No, you love you and I love Walter
1) Are you jealous of Max? 2) Me jealous? Nah…sure he’s rich, famous, and good-looking, I mean, what does he have that I don’t? 1) Walls.
1) BOING! Boing’! gong…gong..gong.boing..! 2) Uh..the must be the doorbell..
1) Do you know what this is? This is the short line at the DMV. You know how there’s the long line going all the way to Canada, and there’s the short line with only three people, but you don’t get on the short line because you think ‘something must be wrong’ and then you waste 3 hours! 2) I got on the short line once. It was for Farm Vehicles.
1) Hey Mister, did you really buy this house? 2) Yes, I did. 3) Hehehehehehehehehehehe!!!
1) I love Walter… 2) Walter? What Walter? 3) Oh Max, you know what Walter. 1) Don’t be ridiculous. He’s not even a musician.
1) I’d help you with that but someone stepped on my fingers. 2) I already said I was sorry! I didn’t expect your fingers to be on the floor.
1) I’m not trying to tell you your business but, shouldn’t you at least take a look at my pipes? 2) I looked at them three years ago. You think they improve with time?!
1) I’m sorry…maybe we can talk to Maestro, you know, and maybe we can arrange for all of us to live together! 2)Hey, hey, you’re not looking at a charity case, here. If this is his place, we’ll move out, okay. Can you just give us a minute? 1) Sure, sure, I’m sorry. Take your time. Excuse me… 2) Great, thank you…..WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!
1) If we do this, we do this together. I’m putting half of the money in. 2) Okay! 1) I thought you would give me an argument. 2) Well if I had any money, I would.
1) Isn’t Brad in jail? 2) No, he got off with a small fine. Brad is a perfectly legitimate Real Estate agent.
1) Save yourself! 2) What?? 1) I am a menace to anything I touch; the Surgeon General’s name should be tattooed across my forehead. Walter Fielding is dangerous to your health! Don’t touch him! Save yourself!
1) The permits guy was here 2) Oh that’s good 3) No, that’s not good. Tomorrow I’m going to take off from work, march to his office, and kiss his ass.
1) Usually when a woman calls for a plumber she’s looking for the ol’ hammer in nail and I’m not talking about– 2) Yes, yes, I know what you mean!
1) Walter, how are you? Okay, Walter you’ve seen me. Or do you want to talk too? 2) I want to talk. 1) Go ahead. And can you make it brief? I got chick waiting in the jacuzzi.
1) Walter, I’m going to help you. 2) Do you have a gun???
1) Walter, it’s all over between us. 2) All right, then just go to bed with me.
1) Walter?! 2) OH! Oh, Anna it’s you! Thank God!! 1) Walter? 2) Oh, I’m so glad you’re here, honey! 2) Walter? 1) Anna, I’ve been here so long I’m hallucinating! Awhile ago, I thought the Care Bears were here! Farm animals…geese, chickens…hahaha. 2) WALTER?! 1) UPSTAAAAAAAAAAIRS!!!!!! 2) Are you all right?!! 1) No, I’m not all right; not at all…
1) Well, the turkey is done. 2) So is the kitchen.
1) What was that? 2) All I did was turn on the water. 1) That’s all? That doesn’t sound too good. 2) You should see…I guess it’s the water…I don’t know..it’s revolting.. 1) So the plumbing is bad, we’ll get it fixed. It’s not the end of the world 2) You didn’t see that water! It had legs.
1) What’s the matter? I was just lighting the oven. 2) Just lighting the…! You could’ve gotten killed! We could’ve all died!!
1) You slept with Max…and I don’t care. 2) What…? 1) I don’t care. I mean, I care but– not enough for us to be apart.
1) You’re so much less attractive to me when I’m sober. 2) Thank goodness it isn’t often.
1)I love you and you love me.
2) No, you love you, I love Walter.
1)When do you think this will be done?
2)Curly: Two weeks!
1. Hey walter let me ask you something, you’re a lawyer right? My father got hit in the head with a golf ball, and last week we were watching the Bob Hope Desert Classic from Palm Spring…he goes freaking nuts! My, father not Bob Hope…so he kicks in the freaking TV screen…. 2. I’d have to study it but I’d say you have a great case against Bob Hope
1. Quick, offer me a drink before I change my mind 1. Ofcourse it’s nearly 11 you must be parched
1. Sometimes I’m amazed you even passed the Bar.
2. That’s not suprising since you’ve never passed a bar in your life!
1. Walter you want this room blue like the hallway right? 2. Blue?! I want nothing, blue nothing! 1. Oh man, now I have to go empty out my paint gun 2. that’s a bummer I know
1. Was de matter man yo old lady kick you out? 2. I do not wish to discuss my personal life with you Julio 1. Das OK, I think she threw his ass out. 2. She did not throw my ass out! I’m not paying you guys to stand around 3. We can’t do nothing till the plumbing inspector gets here. 2. There’s no plumbing in that wall!
1. You are so much less attractive when I’m sober.
2. Thank goodness that’s not very often.
1. You guys test the missles here or what? 2. That’s right we do and its real hush hush
1.You know what this is? This is the short line in Motor Vehicles. 2.What? 1.Yeah! You go to Motor Vehicles to get your license renewed, and you get on this line that reaches to Spain, and right next to it is this little short line with only two guys on it, but you don’t get on that line, ’cause you think something must be wrong with it – otherwise everyone else would be on it – so you waste three hours! 2.I got on the short line once. It was for farm vehicles.
1.You loan me that money or I’ll… 2. Or you’ll what? 1. Or I’ll not like you anymore!
And may I say that your wife is one piece of good lookin wool…
It’s okay honey, he thinks you’re good lookin wool.
BENNY) Are going to let her do that? Are you going to let my mother clean that carpet?
BENNY) Walter, how ya doing? What’s this about? And can you hurry it up, I got girl waiting in the jacuzzi.
Carlos was Hitler’s pool man!
Do you know what you have done? You have taken a woman, on of the greatest women in the world, and thrown her away. I lost her too but I will get over it because I am shallow and self centered. You, you wont because you are…complex…you will suffer in terrible anguish for the rest of your life. this is turning out o be a pretty good day.
for anyone who has worked with a contractor. *How long will this take, when will you be finished?* TWO WEEKS!! four months later TWO WEEKS!!
Here lies Walter Fielding. He bought a house, and it killed him.
Here lies Walter Fielding. He bought a house. And it killed him.
Here lies Walter Fielding…he bought a house…and it killed him.
Hey, your number came up, today we work
Home crap home.
Home Owner: “When will the house be finished?” Contractor: Two weeks.
I dreamt the Care Bares were here!
I have to sell everything…for those blood-sucking lawyers!
I just thought she was good-looking wool.
just adding on to my quote…after -It’s a little overdone for my taste, let’s not go there agian.
Let’s just cut to the chase, all right? What do you want?
Let’s try Brad!
Little problem in the kitchen.
long strokes, up and down….paint don’t tickle and dont smoke
Mozart? Mozart is dead, his problems are over, help MEEE…
The house is going to be perfect
The union forces me to let you go to lunch, inspite of the way you played. Those of you with a conscience will be not be able to eat and those of you without conscience, go stuff yourselves I hope you choke
Very pretty, your new mom…
WALTER) How many times have this happened before? PARAMEDIC) Four times in six months WALTER) I thought jogging is supposed to help PARAMEDIC) Yeah, thanks to the jogging I can now lift him to the door.
We have stairs!
We have weak trees.
What Are we gonna do! Its impossible to find an apartment in the city, even if you’re rich, and were broke.
What are you testing missiles?
What do you do stay in bed all day not look for apartment?
What is this, who are you? I’m talking to him and he won’t answer me…!
You slept on the bed I slept on the couch….sex would have been a miracle.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Money Pit, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Money Pit, The’