Movie Quotes from Midnight Run: Quotes from the movie Midnight Run

#1 Did you ever have sex with an animal Jack? Remember those chickens on the Indian reservation? There were some good looking chickens there Jack. #2 Yeah, there were a couple I would have taken a shot at. #1 Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!

#1 Is this going to upseet me? #2 I think it’s safe to say that.

#1 It’s the truth, I can’t fly. I suffer from Aviaphobia. #2 Whats that mean? #1 It means I can’t fly. I also suffer from Acrophobia and Claustraphobia. #2 I’ll tell you what, if you don’t cooperate your going to be suffering from Fistaphobia!

#1 Jack your a grown man, you have control over your own words. #2 Your god damn right I do! So here come two words for you, shut the fuck up!

#1 No, come on come on, cigarettes are killers. #2 So are women.

#1 Son of a bitch. There goes a hundred grand. #2 A hundred? Eddie was going to pay you a hundred? #1 Why, what was he going to pay you? #2 Twenty five. #1 Oh. #2 Son of a bitch.

#1 What do you think Cerrano is the most afraid of? #2 Going accross country with you. #1 Ha Ha! Getting knocked off by his own people.

#1 What the fuck is going on here? #2 Eddie, Edddie…Eddie I swear to god, don’t start with me now, or I will shoot him and dump him in the fucking swamp. I’m in no fucking mood for this. Just send me the money and I’ll have him back by the deadline. You here me!

#1 Why don’t you get yourself a new watch? #2 I’ll tell you when I know you better.

#1 May I at least have some french fries? #2 I said no pecker-breath now shutup!

–I also suffer from acrophobia and claustrophobia.
–I’ll tell you what. If you don’t cooperate, you’re gonna suffer from fistaphobia.

–I love to travel by train.
–Oh, yeah? What do you think is, a class trip?

–I wanna talk to you, Jack.
–Yeah? Why don’t you call my social secretary?

–Is this gonna upset me?
–I think it’s safe to say that.

–Jack, long time no see.
–Long time no see.
–I see you’re still spending all your money on clothes.

–May I help you, sir?
–Yeah, give me a one-way ticket to L.A.
–One-way ticket to Los Angeles. Will that be smoking or non-smoking?
–Take a wild guess.

–Well, look, I don’t wanna bring up the past, but isn’t Serrano the guy that ran you out of Chicago when he was runnin’ things back there?

–You guys ain’t cops.
–No, we’re ballet dancers.

–You wouldn’t have change for a thousand, would ya?
–What are ya, a comedian?

–You’re a goddamn pilot?
–I didn’t feel it was appropriate to share that with you, Jack.

1) Are you Red? 2) Yes sir. 1) Do you dye your hair? 2) No sir. 1) Then why do they call you Red? 2) Uh, it’s short for Redwood.

1. Mosely? Are all you guys named Mosely? 2. Sir, that must mean Walsh has your badge

1. Where’s Walsh? 2. He got off two-three stops ago. But his real name is Mosely. 1. I’M MOSELY

A hundred grand! Are you out of your mind? Jack, this is an easy gig. It’s a midnight run, for Christ sakes.

Always check the evidence, Marvin.

Are you doing the litmus configuration?

Back off, Jack!

Chorizo and eggs.

Cigarettes are killers.

Come fly with me. Come fly away…

Eat a sandwich, drink a glass of milk, do some fucking thing

Eddie, I’ll do it for a hundred thousand.

Familiar with the word ‘arteriosclerous’? Cholesterol? If you want I’ll outline a complete balanced diet for you.

First class is nice. I can make a habit of this.

Goddamn you, Dorfler. I nearly got killed tryin’ to get him!

He’s an accountant. He’s not going to shoot you.

He’s that accountant that embezzled a couple million from some Vegas
wise guy and gave it to charity.

Hey Tony, Tony…Hop-a-long Cassidiche. You got your camera. Take a picture.

Hey, Marvin!

His real name’s Mosely.

I can say hello in a lot off languages, not in yours but in al lot off them.

I got two words for you, shut the fuck up.

I know I’m not your accountant. I’m just saying if I WERE your accountant, I’d have to strongly advise you against it.

I know you all of two minutes and already I don’t like you.

I know you two minutes and I already don’t like you.

I think, under different circumstances you and I probably still would’ve hated each other.

I’ll do it for a hundred grand and then I’m out of this business forever. And I want a contract. I want it in writing. A hundred grand, and I’ll have the Duke here by Friday night.

I’ll get the steak and you get the lobster. I’ll have a little surf and turf.

I’m a white-collar criminal.

If you had left Jimme Cerano alone, you wouldn’t be in this mess.


Is this Moron #1? Put Moron #2 on the phone.

Is this moron number one? Put moron number two on the phone.

Jack Walsh: Where am I? I am in Boise, Idaho. No, no, no, I am in Anchorage, Alaska. No, I am in Casper, Wyoming, I am in the lobby of a Howard Johnson’s and I am wearing a pink carnation.

Jack? What! How much further do we have to go? None of your fucking business! No, because eventually I’m going to have to go to the bathroom. Shut the fuck up!

Marvin, thanks for the car.

Moscone, Bail Bonds.

Oh, yeah, right. I was just going over to Denny’s to catch the Grand-
Slam Breakfast. They start serving at 6:30.

Perform the Litmus Configuration

Relax, have a cream soda, everything is going to be all over with in a few minutes.

Serrano’s got the disks! Serrano’s got the disks!

She married a police lieutenant, and I’m not very popular with the Chicago Police Department, okay?

Sidney don’t say a fucking thing or I’ll bury this phone in your head!

Sidney, relax. Have a sandwich, have a glass of milk. Do some fuckin’ thing.

So I’m finally in the presence of greatness huh? The Duke. The guy who steals money from the scum of the earth and gives it to the unfortunate civil world. I just wanted to meet you face to face… Did you actually think that you were going to steal my money, and get away with it? …I stopped by here to tell you two things; number one is that you’re gonna die tonight. Two, I’m gonna go home, have a nice hot meal, I’m gonna find your wife, and I’m gonna kill her too.

Sydney, will you relax. Sit down, have a sandwich, have a glass of milk. Do some fucking thing.

These are all bad … those are good !

These sunglasses, they’re really nice. Are they government-issued or do you guys go to the same store to get ’em?

This clown’s worth fifteen hundred, Jack. It’s nothin’ personal.
Now get lost.

This is my room, and this is your room. Goodnight.

What’s with you and that watch!

Where the hell did they go? #2 You think we lost them. #1 I don’t know, I don’t see anything. #3 Oh I’m sure we’re completely safe.

Why were you so unpopular with the Chicago Police Department?

Would’ve been a nice coffee shop.

Yeah ? Why don’t you tell me about it ? And be sure to speak into the MICROPHONE !

Yeah, that’s right down here! Are you going to stand there with your thumb up your ass, or are you gonna get me the fuck outta here!

You doing the litmus configuration?

You guys ain’t Cops!! No, we’re ballet dancers. Your mom ever teach you how to react to strangers…not shoot at em?

You guys ain’t cops!! No, we’re ballet dancers. Your mother ever teach you how to react to strangers? Not shoot at ’em?

You guys are the dumbest bounty hunters I’ve ever seen!

You guys are the dumbest bounty hunters I’ve ever seen! You guys couldn’t even deliver a bottle of milk!

You know about secondary smoke? You could give people lung cancer who are innocent and trying to live healthy lives.

You know why you have an ulcer? ‘Cause you have two forms of expression: silence and rage.

You know why you have an ulcer? ‘Cause you have two forms of expression, silence and rage.

You order the lobster I’ll order the steak, so I can get a little surf and turf action going.

You see, for every shit there’s six nice

You’re a fuckin’ criminal, and you deserve to go where you’re goin’ and I’m gonna take you there. I hear any more shit outta you I’m gonna fuckin’ bust your head, and I’m gonna put you back in that fuckin’ hole, and I’m gonna stick your head in a fuckin’ toilet bowl and I’m gonna make it stay there.

You’re worse than any crook I ever put a bond up for?

Your ok Jack. I think…under different circumstances…you and I… probably still would have hated each other!

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