#1: How do you know that?!?
#2: I pay attention.
(Singing) My wife, has lips, like a blowfish…You know, I don’t see it, but I could be wrong. If I had any talent as a country singer I wouldn’t be sittin’ by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere.
(various phone conversations)1)Were you on the bed when it levitated? 2)And you say he’s been living in your fridge…uh huh…can you hold, I want to take this at my desk…no, don’t let him out.
1) The Milk Bottle Hotel Fortune? 2) you don’t have to have money to have someone take it away from you.
1)And Beazulbub came with his stinking breath! 2)Whoa, man, who’s Beazulbub? 1)Beazulbub is Satan. And he tore at my flesh from every angle at heaven!
1)Big angels can’t fly, only little angels can fly 2)Why? 1)I just thought…3)Halos? 1)Yes. 3)Inner light? 1)Yes! 3)I’m not that kind of angel.
1)Don’t shake me Mr. Quinlan! I’m contemplating my death. 2)Are you with the angel now? 1)Do you see an angel?
1)I once saw the world’s largest cannonball — Mesopotamia. I wonder if it’s still there? 2)Mesopotamia isn’t still there. 1)Ugh, nothing lasts!
1)My mother made a great…2)Blueberry pie. I know. So do I.
1)That was right around the time I invented standing in line. 2) You invented standing in line? 3) Yes, before that everybody just gathered around. It was all a big mess so I said why don’t w just make a line? 3) oh yeah, what was the line for? 4) To get in.
1. Dog, one point for me. (all groan) 2. You’ve played this before. 3. It’s not fair to me, I’m driving! 1. Deal with it. Bird on a wire. 4. Picket fence. 1. Policeman. 2, 3, and 4: Where? 1.(laughs) Oh, you gotta learn to laugh, it’s the way to true love.
1. He smote a bank for me! 2. He smote a bank? 3. Eh, a branch. First Iowa Bank of Commerce. 4. I knew it, money was involved, wasn’t it? 1. You bet, oh, it was wonderful. He walked right into the manager’s office and-what was that you said? 3. MONEYCHANGER! 1. Moneychanger! I shall turneth this earthly den into a parking lot!
1. He’s a young man, she’s an older woman, he’s after her money. 2. A gigolo with wings? 1. A gigolo! 2. What money is he after, the Milk Bottle Motel fortune?
1. How did you get Sparky? 2. He comes up to Huey in a parking lot one day while he was eating and Huey was trying to kick the dog away from him. 1. You were trying to kick the dog? 3. I wasn’t trying to kick him, I was shooing him away very gently. 2. And Malt comes out, he looks at the dog, his eyes get all teary and he pours out this story about his dog named Sparky. 1. How sweet. 2. It turns out that Malt was once a child with a dog just like him which ended up underneath a tractor tire! Huey says, Malt, that is amazing, this dog’s name is Sparky too! In no time at all, the dog is famous, he’s got his own column, he must’ve saved Huey’s neck a hundred times.
1. Remember what john and paul said. 2.the apostles? 3. No, the beatles. All you need is love.
All You Need Is Love.
Angels don’t have sex
Angels don’t smoke
Did your mother drop you? What was going on in that pea-brain that makes you take a certain creation of the Lord almighty AND CHOP IT IN HALF?
FIVE hippopotamus…FOUR hippopotamus…THREE!TWO!ONE! (POW!)
FIX THIS TIRE! COME BACK HERE AND FIX THIS TIRE!
He smells like cookies. It gets stronger when he’s in heat.
Heaven Is My Home.
His tires were bald and they went flat. So did our love and that was that.
I Don’t Care If You Love Me Anymore.
I put a block on you
I think he’s saying there’s no sex in heaven.
I Thought About You.
I’m not that kind of angel.
It Could Happen To You.
It is not angel versus man with wings, there are other possibilities!
It looks like a giant bird made love to that man’s mother.
Oh no Michael, we are not stopping to see the World’s largest non-stick frying pan.
Remember Sparky, no matter what they say, you can never have too much sugar.
Remember you can never have to much sugar.
She died making breakfast.
Sittin’ on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. Sounds awfully familiar.
THIS is how you eat a lemon.
Up Around The Bend.
Why don’t you pull on your pecker and see how that’s attached?
Wings? Far out!
You gotta learn to laugh. It’s the way to true love.
You have a song about pie?
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Michael’: Quotes from the movie ‘Michael’