Movie Quotes from Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy: Quotes from the movie Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy

Biiig muscles, haaard muscles!

But as soon as I got depressed, I got undepressed, ’cause as I was cleaning the gleaming guts of that bird off my car, I thought of a name for the drug: Gleemonex! The slogan: Gleemonex makes it feel like it seventy-two degrees in your head…all…the…time!

Chris, she’s depressed not stupid.

Chris, she’s depressed, she’s not stupid.

Cop1:Ma’am, I’d just like to say I don’t know how a man like that can get up to these types of park shananagans with a lovely piece of ass like yourself waiting at home.
Doreen:Thank you, I… guess.

Did you clean the house today while your old man was at work? … What about the gun? Did ya give the gun a good cleaning?

Did you hear about the toast fucking?
Toast fucking?
yeah. It’s where you fuck, or get fucked by, toast!

Get Outta The Way You Homeless Peice Of Shit!

Get your finger out of my face Don!

Here’s the plan. You go over there and fuck them in the ass while we sit here and masturbate!

Hey look, I’m an elephant rider!

I invented a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.

I just heard about this new drug that makes you happy. I just wanna say…fuck happy!

I know it. Your family knows it. DOGS know it!!

I used to be straight but now I’m gay, I think the drug made me that way!

I’m sorry. I don’t speak German.

It was only a couple flipper babies!

Life is short, Life is shit, and soon it will be over…


Ne vous allez pas ou Media…Don’t go to the media.

No! Not my monkeys! You can take everything else, but don’t take my monkeys!

no, I don’t think I will fuck stummies, Chris.

Oh, I’m just a guy

Ohhh! Thanks! I wonder what that is? – (It’s a harmonica)

Ow! My fucking finger.

Scientist: I’ve invented a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.
Don: Uh, right, and what’s positive about that?
Scientist: Well, it’s a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.
Don: Couldn’t it also give worms to ex-boyfriends?
Scientist: This is a drug… for the world… to give worms to ex-girlfriends.
Don: Well, great. Thanks for stopping by.
Scientist: You just don’t get it here! Huhoooo!

Show some respect, you homeless piece of shit!

Smile, it’s free. (peace sign)

So I hear dad’s dead. Hey, is that egg nog?

So, I hear dad’s dead. Hey, is that eggnog?

Sorry we’re a few hours late, Ma, but you know how the kids hate old people.

Thank you Dr. Cooper for your wonderfull COMA!

The drug is made from monkey cum. They keep these monkeys locked in a room all day, you know. And then they make them jack-off. And then they take the cum and they boil it or something. And that’s what the drug is made of.

This urine is great!

We didn’t have an International Womens’ Day Drug!

Well, it reaches into your brain ‘chemically,’ and then it locates your happiest memory ‘chemically,’ then it locks onto that emotion and freezes it ‘chemically,’ and then it keeps you happy, happy.

When I was a little boy, my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.

Where’s your father? P2: He’s upstairs masturbating to gay porn. P3: Again?

Wife: Kids, where’s your Father?
Daughter: He’s upstairs masturbating to gay porn.
Wife: Again?

You are gay! You are a homosexual! I know it, your family knows it, dogs know it! The only one who doesn’t know it is you!

You know, the thing is Chris, is that your drug, it’s effectively changing the world for the better. You know, it’s important that you know that, because, have you heard that crack is, you know, gone? I mean, crime is down, and oddly enough so is tourism, but you know if I haven’t said it before, good job.

You mean that thing you just mentioned, just now? Oh, we are right on top of that, Don.

You would agree that Paris is the capital of France? Good then we are back in agreement.

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