–Calm yourself down! I’ll tell you when it’s time to panic!
–I smell mischief here!
–Can you get one from Gusto the Body Snatcher?
–He owes me a favor. But he died yesterday.
–Uh…what about his body?
–Somebody snatched it. Uh, let’s see…who do we know that’s dead?
–For us there will never be happiness.
–We must learn to be happy without it.
–I cannot afford to offend the gods.
–Is it contagious?
–Have you ever seen a plague that wasn’t?
–My father is rolling over in his grave.
–Your father is alive.
–This will kill him.
–People do not go around freeing slaves every day.
–Be the first. Start a fashion.
–Rather than let you down, I would die.
–That is what I had in mind.
–Stand aside everyone! I take large steps.
–That breeder woman, has she been thrown a mate yet?
–Alas, she refuses just any slave. She demands to choose.
–A brilliant idea!
–That’s what we need, a brilliant idea.
–What can happen in an hour or two?
–At his age, the mind boggles!
–You are in need of a soothsayer.
–How did you know?
–I’d be a fine soothsayer if I didn’t.
–You must never know what goes on in that house.
–But I do know.
–You do? Isn’t it amazing?
A common flesh-peddler in the house next to ours, disgusting!
A word of advice: never fall in love during a total eclipse.
An honest virgin! What a terrible combination!
Arrange food, drink, entertainment, and a sit-down orgy for forty.
Forgive me for ever having mistrusted you, darling. But you have been
a little distant these past twenty-nine years.
I live to grovel.
I shall return in a nonce. At most, two nonces.
I want a mosaic of this scene, a whole wall of…
I want a sit down orgy for 40.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times; do not fan the girls when they’re wet! But you’ll never learn, you’ll be a eunuch all your life.
It’s against Roman law to take one’s life. Penalty is death.
My daughter’s an eunuch?
She’s not a virgin! — Those filthy pirates!
Son, if you’re only as happy as your mother and I have been…my heart
bleeds for you.
Was 1 a good year?
We’ll need a body. Anybody’s body.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, A’: Quotes from the movie ‘Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, A’