He may look like an idiot, and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot!
–How would you like a job in the mint?
–Mint? No, no, I no like a mint. Uh, what other flavor you got?
–I feel you are the most able statesman in all Freedonia.
–Well, that covers a lot of ground.
–I surrender, I surrender!
–I’m sorry, you’ll have to wait till the fruit runs out.
–I’ll give you seven years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Sevenworth.
–I’ll take 5 & 10 at Woolworth’s.
–Not that I care, but where is your husband?
–Why, he’s dead.
–I bet he’s just using that as an excuse.
–I was with him to the very end.
–No wonder he passed away.
–Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you.
–Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don’t think I could handle any more.
–Trentino!
–Trentino,eh? Ahh! Call me an upstart, eh?
1) Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you: he really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth. 2) I’ll tell you what I’ll do: I’ll take five and ten in Woolworth.
1) Take a letter. 2) Who to? 1) The President of the United States. My dear President… read it back… 2) My dear President… 1) That doesn’t sound right… take out President… now read it. 2) My dear… 1) That’s not right yet… put back President and take out dear… How does it read now? 2) My President… 1) There’s still something wrong with it… take out President… Now what’ve you got? 2) My… 1) Now we’re on the right track… Put back dear… How does it read? 2) My dear… 1) You can’t say that to the President… Put back President… Now let’s hear how sounds. 2) My dear President… 1) That’s what I wanted in the first place. Tear it up and send it airmail.
1) That was for you again. 2)I wonder whatever happened to me.
1) Your Excellency, General Mills reports a gas attack. What should he do? 2) Tell him to take two teaspoons of bicarbonate and soda and a half a glass of water.
1. You don’t want to be a public nuisance, do you?
2. Sure. How much does the job pay?
Firefly: Do you wanna be a public neucince?
Chicolini: Sure, how much does the job pay?
Firefly: I’ve got the right mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Firefly: This is the only way to travel.
Here, have a cigar…That’s a good quarter cigar. I smoke the other
three quarters myself.
I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can’t see
the stove.
I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows when you came home.
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows until you come home.
I got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
I got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
I’ll see my lawyer about this as soon as he graduates from law school!
I’ll see you at the opera tonight. I’ll hold your seat till you get there. After that, you’re on your own.
I’m sick of messages from the front. Don’t we ever get messages from the side?
it never rains but it pours
Mrs Teasdale): Your excellency, the ambassador’s here on a friendly visit. He’s had a change of heart. Rufus T.): A lot of good that’ll do him: he’s still got the same face. Ambassador): I’m sorry we lost our tempers; I’m willing to forgot if you are. Rufus T.): Forget? You ask me to forget? A Firefly never forgets! Why, my ancestors would rise from their graves, and I’d only have to bury them again. Nothing doing! I’m going back and clean the crackers out of my bed; I’m expecting company.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How is got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
Remember, you’re fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
Rufus T): Lieutenant, why weren’t the original indictment papers placed in my portfolio? Lieutenant): Why, uh, I didn’t think those papers were important at this time, your excellency. Rufus T.): You didn’t think they were important? Do you realize I had my dessert wrapped in those papers?
Rufus T.): Now, what is it that has four pairs of pants, lives in Philadelphia, and it never rains but it pours? Chicolini): ‘At’s-a good one. I give you three guesses. Rufus T.): Now lemme see. Has four pair of pants, lives in Philadelphia. Is it male or female? Chicolini): No, I don’t think so. Rufus T.): Is he dead? Chicolini): Who? Rufus T.): I don’t know. I give up. Chicolini): I give up, too.
Terantino: Do you mean worm? Firefly: No, it was a seven-letter word. Terantino: Oh, I know, Upstart. Firefly: That was it, Upstart! (Slaps Terantino with a glove).
Victory is ours!
Will you marry me?
Did he leave you any money?
Answer the second question first
You know, you haven’t stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
You’re a brave man. Go and break through the lines. And remember, while you’re out there risking you’re life and limb through shot and shell, we’ll be in be in here thinking what a sucker you are.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Duck Soup’: Quotes from the movie ‘Duck Soup’
