(reporter): So are you girls going to the parade? (girl): I can’t I think I’m due or something…
*in retarded voice* Ga, Ga, are we on cops? Are we on cops again? Dad. You shut your pie hole. You make ME hit you where the good Lord split you!
***RUNS INTO GLASS WALL***
-I hate her! -I know, I know, we all do
-She’s the most smartest…-Most smartest? Get a picture of this, most smartest
-You going to the parade? -No, I think I’m due, or something
1) Hey Haroyld, are we on cops? Are we on cop Haroyld? Uhaha (2 hit 1 in the back of the head) 1)Haroyld, mom said not in the head! 2) Well moms dead so shut your trap! 1)I will if you shut you pie whole
1) You know, how would Peter act if he saw this? 2) Well, you know what, Peter’s gay. GAY!!
1)Name and spell all the United States in alphabetical order 2)seriously?
1)Proud to be an American 2)What was last year’s theme? 1)Buy Americans 2)And the year before that? 1)USA is AOK 2)Can you remember the name of your favorite pagent? 1)Can I? Amer-I-Can…People ask me where I get this stuff, it’s like a gift from god
1)This is bullshit! 2)Amber, that is not American Teen Princess language! 1)Good, because this isn’t an American Teen Princess Pagent. This is…this is nuts, Germany!
1)You won’t find a back room in our video stores, unlike some larger sin cities. 2)A.k.a. Minneapolis, St. Paul.
1: hello miss sad pants and her friend serious sally. how about some nice cool mints to turn those frowns upside down? 2: Do ya think that a nice cool mint would help if I shoved you head up your ass?
1: I brought you chocolates. 2: Good job Becky! She’s anorexic! 3: She’s skinny! Not deaf!
1: You think those are implants? 2: What!?! 1: Oh yeah, they get them at birth now.
A rich family in a small town, it makes the papers when one of them takes a shit!
Ah Jesus Mary and Joseph she’s Pregnant!
Alabama. A-L-A-B-A-M-A. Alabamba. Alaska. A-L-A-S-K-A. … G-I-N-A. West Virgina.
All these fuckin beauty queens were just blowin chunks everywhere. I’ve never seen nothin like it!
Amber Atkins: Hi. I’m Amber Atkins, and I am signing up ’cause two of my favorite persons in the world competed in pageants: my mom and Diane Sawyer. Of course, I want to end up more like Diane Sawyer than my mom
Amber is the best damn tapper and the most smartest!
Amber, did you get my smokes?
Amber: Whats that mom used to always say? Loretta: Once a carn-ie, always a carn-ie.
Amber: I didn’t think she would want to meet her maker looking like a cheap whore….Mr. Larson: Well this cheap whore is that family’s lovin’ mother!
Amber: My mom never his the fact that my dad chose his career over us. What was it she used to say?
Lorretta: Once a carney, always a carney…
Amber: Mom still cries everytime she sees a tilt-a-whirl or a fat lady in a tube top.
Amber: OH MY GAWD! this is just like the dress Diane Sawyer wore to HER regional pageant, well she wore a size 10…Diane was a little hippy in those days.
Mom’s friend: not our girl! [high five]
Amber: This is BULLSHIT! iris: Amber! that is not miss america teen pageant language! amber: Yeah? well this is….this is…. this is NAZI GERMANY!
Amer-I-Can!
And so, dear Lord, it is with deep sadness that we turn over to you this young woman, whose dream to ride on a giant swan resulted in her death. Maybe it is your way of telling us… to buy American.
Are we on Cops again?
are we on cops are we on cops Harold shutup hank this here is buissnessohh mom said not in the head well mom is dead so shut your flytrap i will if you shut your piehole
As Anthony Robbins says: The only person who can beat me is me.
ATOMIC POWER MAKES ME, MOLLY HOWARD, PROUD TO BE AN ASIAN AMERICAN
Beautiful as a whore’s ass out here today isn’t it boys?
Becky- As my mom says, its Sunday dinner- come and get it!
Amber- Oh, I’ll come get it! I might even take seconds!!
Becky: As my mother says on Sunday dinner, come and get it!
BECKY: It’s me, Mary….Becky…Becky Leeman. Look, I brought you some chocolate! AMBER: Good going Becky, she’s anorexic BECKY: She’s skinny Amber- not deaf.
Becky: Like my mom always said ‘it’s sunday dinner, come and get it.’ Amber: Oh yeah I’ll come and get it..I might even have seconds. Becky: Give me that stringy ass hair.
Camera Man: Can you think of the name of your favorite pageant?
Gladis: Can I? Amer-I-Can. I don’t know where I get it, I think it is a gift from God or something!
Clint Brack..ruff!….hey, a-whatta he got that I don’t-a got?
contestant:Uhhhm…the retards’ pants are completely off.
hank: close up shop!! close up shop!!!
Cop 1: Yeah, after some [pause] extensive investigating, we determined it to be an electrical fire.
Country Western! eh, what he got that uh, I not got
Didn’t even get to keep my damn tiara… had to turn it in for scrap metal
Do you think they heard us?
documentarian: so…are you nervous?
leslie miller: oh, how’d you find out?? well…yeah, I’m about two months late…my boyfriend doesn’t know…
documentarian: i meant about the pageant…?
English, Speak English you stupid little retard
every year, every god damn year. i say take down the god damn freda sign you lazy sons-a-bitches
Father Donigan, sidewalks sidewalks! * GLUG GLUG GLUG * Oh Gladys, the communal wine just proves too temptin’ for some of them! * That’s why we Lutherans use grape Kool-Aid for the Blood of Christ!
Friend: Hey, can any of you boys give me a ride home?
Amber’s mom: Don’t fall for that, she live 2 trailers down
Fucking beauty queens blowing chunks everywhere.
Fucking beauty queens blowing chunks everywhere. Never seen anything like it, and I live in LA
Get you’re ass up there and show Mommy some teeth!
Gladis:i won the talent contest by making these coolats, butterick pattern 2209.
Loretta: She had a fat ass then and she has a fat ass now
gladys-hello father donnegan, sidewalks sidewalks!
(iris makes drinking motion)
Gladys- oh stop it ir is its not his fault, the communal wine just proves too tempting for some of them
iris-thats why why we lutherans use grape kool aid for the blood of christ
Good things happen to good people. No, that’s complete bullsh*t. You’re just lucky as hell, so enjoy it. ~Loretta~
Guys get out of Mount Rose all the time for hockey scholorships…or prison. But this pageant is pretty much my only shot.
He sells reproductions! His furniture’s as fake as my orgasms!
hey amber, y’get my shmokes?
How do you feel now that you are the american teen princess? I wanna take a shower.
I got some!
I gotta work at the funeral home, It’s busy this time of year, hunting season
I know who da winner is..
i love st. pauls pork products so much,,,, I work here now!!!!!
I owe my life to that deaf baby
I stuck your tap shoes in my panties.
I want the big bag of little donuts.
i will be doing an interpretive dance while signing thtough the eyes of god…mom, would you be so kind
I will if you shut your pie hole!
I’ll tell ya who should win.. Amber Atkins. She’s the prettiest, the most smartest..
Amber’s mom: Oh that’s really great.. the most smartest?! Take a picture of that!
Friend: What? the most smartest!!
If they ask you to take your clothes off, get the money first.
If they ask you to take your top off, get the money first
It’s ok, Doreen gave us hairnets
Jesus Amber, the woman clung to your tap shoes while flying through the air like a goddamn lawn dart!
Jesus Christ on a cross!
Jesus Loves winners
Leslie:yeah i’m realy nervous its been about two months i haven’t told my boyfriend yet hoe did you know? Repoter:i meant nevous about the pageant. Leslie:OHH nervous about the pageant yeah
Let’s face it, the family only needs one Liza, and Peter’s got much better legs than me
Lisa’s Dad: Yeah, well I’ll tell you one thing: Peter never would have pulled a shenanigan like that. Lisa: Well, you know what, Dad? You know what? Peter’s gay. GAAAAAAY!
Loretta: Are we on ‘Cops’ again?
Loretta: You know who should win, who deserves to win is Amber. She’s the prettiest, the best damn tapper, the most smartest…
Annette:Most smartest?! Yah, real educated Loretta…take a picture of that, most smartest!
Loretta: Most smartest!
Ludafisk….is pickled, salted herring. It’s best served with lots of butter.
Ludefisk.
Mary: who are you? Becky: It’s me Becky.
Mom still cries everytime she sees a tilt-o-whirl or a fat lady in a tube top.
Ms.K: Suck in the bellies girls! And tuck in the toushes! Close those legs, you look like a bunch of bow-legged cows!
My mom gave me this 16 mill. for my 13th birthday…yea I’ll always rememeber what she wrote on the card, Jesus loves winners.
My mom gave me this 19 mill for my 13th birthday. Yeah. I’ll always remember what she put on the card. ‘Jesus Loves Winners’. That’s why I always aim to win.
My uncle lester’s largest ball of twine makes me proud to be an american…i misunderstood the question.
naah, she’s yellin’ ma, ma, cause she’s got taerrets
nurse:Hello miss sad pants and her friend serious sally, how about some nice cool mints to turn those frowns upside down? Loretta:Do ya think a nice cool mint would help if I shoved your head up your ass?
OH CRAP..OH CRAP
Oh geez…she’s pregnant. Come here Amber so Mommy can hug you…and then kill you.
Oh god – she’s pregnant! Come here honey, mommy wants to talk to you…
Oh no…..I never eat shellfish. Mom once told me never to eat anything that carries its house around with him……..you never know the last time its been cleaned.
oh she’s real happy…the blow to her head made her deaf.
OH THERES A SPOT, oh no…thats just a compact.
oh, you betcha Iris
oh,is that for me…or for my gown?
One suggestion, why don’t ya hike up your skirt a little more
Peter would never do this kind of thing. We’ll you know what dad? Peter is gay. GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
Please help yourself to some coffee and bars!
Real nice, you know the babysitter’s dead!
Right now, I’d kill someone for the nicotine under their fingernails. You hear that Loretta?
She had a big ass then, she has a big ass now
She had a big ass then. She’s gotta big ass now.
She’s super happy, the blow to her head made her deaf.
shut your flytrap I will if you shut your pie hole
Sidewalks Father Donagon, SIDEWALKS!
So do u like to swim?
YA I lOVE to sWIm !!!
Speak English you stupid little retard
Speak english you stupid little retard!!!
SPEAK ENGLISH, YOU STUPID LITTLE RETARD!
SPEAK ENGLISH, YOU STUPID LITTLE RETARD!
That Tammy was a crispy critter up on that thrusher
That’s why no matter what I do, I aim to win.
Thats why we Lutherans use grape juice for the blood of Christ
thats why we Lutherians use grape koolaid for the blood of Christ
the retards pants are completely open, oh i don’t wanna see that
The rumors are true, I do have a special someone in my life, and I would like to sing a special song, just for him
The swan ate my baby!
THE SWAN ATE MY BABY!!!
The swan ate my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE tards got his pants down!
Close up shop! close up shop!
The Washington Monument (oh ya baby -Leslie’s boyfriend-) makes me, Leslie Miller, proud to be an American. -Leslie Miller-
they remade my belly with skin from my butt.
They’ll never let you perform naked– I asked.
They’re never gonna let you perform naked. I asked… -Leslie Miller-
This is my lucky bolt, it fell from a DC-10
Those sons of bitches.
To live in a country where they can take an ugly old mountain and carve the heads of great Americans into it… that makes me, Rebecca Ann Lehman, proud to be an American.
Two weeks before the pageant, i was brushing up on current events, practicing my talent, and running 18 miles a day, on about 400 calories. i was ready
Two weeks before the pageant, i was brushing up on surrent events, practicing my talent, and running 18 miles a day, on about 400 calories. i was ready.
ummm the retards pants are completely off
ummm the retards pants are unbuttoned.
Voice of an angel, that one!
Voice of Documentarian: So you’ve, uh, you’ve judged a lot of pageants over the years?
John: Nope. No. Uh-uh. Never judged a pageant before in my life. Nope. No way. Never around young girls. Even if I was, why would I wanna be, y’know? I- I- I don’t get off on that kinda thing and that’s really why you’re askin’, right? …S- someone say somethin’?
Voice of Documentarian: So, just tell us your name, and why you’re signing up for the pageant.
Leslie Miller: Ok…Hi…I’m Leslie Miller..and I’m signing up ’cause..oh.. I always watch the pageants on TV and my boyfriend thinks I’ll win………Hi Pat. GO MUSKIES WOO!
Wait wat am i saying? i should jsut ask you becky!! where is it?
What?
you heard me where is it?
if you gettin at somethign you better just say it
i just did
well then you better be willing to back it up cause your talkin crazy
o you bring me on some of that snotty attitude becky bring it on!!!
For WAT MY MOTHER SAYS AT SUNDAY DINNER COME AND GET IT
O ILL GETT I T ILL GET IT ALL RIGHT I MIGHT EVEN TAKE SECONDS
WELL THEN ILL MAKE SURE ITS HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU THEN!!
Well as my mother says, it’s Sunday dinner so come and get it! (Becky)
I’ll get it alright, and I’ll have some seconds! (Amber)
Well wat do i say?
simply just say mom…. i know you sacrificed everything .. relationships dreams your tummy ass and thighs all to bring me into this world all so i could have tap lessons and be in the pagent .. the same one you were in but you know wat? im quitting there easy as pie.
oh my god i am s o dead
yea you bet you are
OUT GET OUT !!! NEXT ONE IN HERE WITHOUT A PACK A LUCKIES IN HER HANDS DIES SHES DIES!!!!
you have a super day too!!!
What is solient green? Solient green is people!
what…did they have a sale on dull needles at k-mart?
I just need one more do-over!!!
Who are you? Who are you? Its a little game we play each week. It’e me, Becky.
Ya Frita was the oldest liveing Lutheren now she’s dead as a doornail. Its the damn Shrinders wont take down the damn sign the lazy sons of bitches. Every year every damn year I tell them take down the God damn Freta sign you lazy sons of bitches.
Ya Frita was the oldest living Lutheren now she;s dead as a doornail. Its the damn Shrinders won’t take down the damn sign the lazy sons of bitches. Every year every god damn year i tell them take down the God damn Freta sign you lazy sons of bitches.
Yeah well you know what dad? Peter’s gay……GAY!!!!
You guys want shots? I’m buyin’.
You know my parents only had me because Peter needed a kidney.
You know what dad, Peter’s gay, GAY!!!
You know what dad, peter’s Gay…GAY!!!!!!!!
You know what us models say when the glass is half empty….WHERE’S MY GOD DAMN WAITER!!
You think a nice cool mint would help if I shoved your head up your ass?
You think they’d have the parking lot of America to go with the mall of America
You’d think they’d build the parking lot of America to go with the Mall of America!
YOU’RE NOTTHE ONE WHO KNOW HOW JIFFY POP FEELS MISSY
You’re talking about the richest family in a small town. It’s front page news if one of em takes a shit!
Your Mother clung to your tapshoes while flying through the air like a god damn lawn dart.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Drop Dead Gorgeous’: Quotes from the movie ‘Drop Dead Gorgeous’
