(singing) Lots of good wills and maybe one small thrill. But, theres nothing dirty going on.
1) Who won? 2) A&M 1) Shit! *In unison with blank expressions* yee ha
1)You know what burns my ass?
2) What?
1) A flame about three feet high!
Fellas, I’ve got myself a pretty good bullshit detector. And I can tell when someone’s peeing on my boots and telling me its a rain storm. Now this thing has gotten way out of hand, I don’t know how. But, I figure there’s only one thing left to do.
2) Close it down!
3) No, I’m goin’ to Austin; see the Governor — tell him Miss Mona’s side of the story. He’s sure as hell not gonna here it from anyone around here.
4) Well you can’t go off and see the Governor …. he don’t see anybody.
5) He’ll see me….
I feel like the country dog in the city … if I stand still they screw me, if I run they bite me in the ass.
Fellas, I’ve got myself a pretty good bullshit detector. And I can tell when someone’s peeing on my boots and telling me its a rain storm. Now this thing has gotten way out of hand, I don’t know how. But, I figure there’s only one thing left to do.
Close it down!
No, I’m goin’ to Austin; see the Governor — tell him Miss Mona’s side of the story. He’s sure as hell not gonna here it from anyone around here.
Well you can’t go off and see the Governor …. he don’t see anybody.
He’ll see me.
I feel like the country dog in the city … if I stand still they screw me, if I run they bite me in the ass.
First thing, first thing is you’re standing in Landville County which from my figurin’s about a hundred miles west of that stinkhole you call Houston. So I can’t see its any of your business what goes on out here. Number two, you ain’t the law ’round hear and I am. So don’t be telling me what my God-damn job is or I’ll woop your but so bad it’ll look like the stripes on a barber pole. (background: man: that’s tellin’ him sherrif; woman: he may be mean but he’s ours). Number three, no sawed off little pecker’s gonna accuse me of taking abribe and live to tell about it. Because I wear the badge in this God-damn county. So you listen good you over patted televised terd, if I ever see you or any of those little bastards that work for you in my town again, I’m gonna knock you you flat your gonna have to roll down your socks to shit. So get out of here you God-damn wig-wearing patted son-of-a-bitch….
I can tell when someone’s pissing on my boots and telling me its a rainstorm.
I feel like the country dog in the city … if I stand still they screw me … if I run, they bite me in the ass.
I saw a picture once, of them fellers from, you know, that’s supposed to be from up there? Fly around? Tiny little fellers. Bald-headed, little feet, little hands — got no peckers.
It’s always a buisness doing pleasure with you Charlie.
It’s always a business doing pleasure with you, Charlie.
Oh Fred, you mean to tell me you don’t think the cows don’t appreciate the time off when a bull goes over to the other pasture?
You knew they where selling something out there, and it wasn’t poultry.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, The’
