1) Can I buy you a drink, Maxine? 2) Are you married? 1) Yes, but enough about me.
1) Which of these two letters comes first, this one or this one? 2) Um, the symbol on the right is not a letter, sir? 1) Damn, you’re good!
1) With all due respect, John, it’s MY portal. 2) It’s MY head, Schwartz! It’s MY head!
1) You see, Maxine, it’s not just playing with dolls! 2) You’re right, my darling. It’s so much more. It’s playing with people!
1: Did you just call me Lotte? 2: Do you mind? 1: No, not really.
: I think it’s kinda sexy that John Malkovich has a portal, y’know, sort of like, it’s like, like he has a vagina. It’s sort of vaginal, y’know, like he has a, he has a penis AND a vagina. I mean, it’s sort of like… Malkovich’s… feminine side. I like that.
Craig Schwartz: My name is Craig Schwartz and I have an interview with Dr. Lester. Floris: Please have a seat, Mr. Juarez. Craig Schwartz: My name is Schwartz. Floris: My name is Warts? I’m sorry. I have no time for piddling suggestions from mumbling job applicants.
Craig: If I can guess your name in three tries, you have to come have a drink with me tonight. Maxine: Why not? Craig: Okay. You look like a … BarrrRuuu– BellllLuuuu– Lllll– Carolllll– Taaaa-Sharrr— SusaaannnEmmmmilllly— Marr– laaarr– Maax…ine–M-M-M–Maxine? Maxine: Yeah! Who told you?
Craig: You were him, weren’t you? Lotte: Yeah. Craig: And he was with her! Lotte: We love her, Craig. Craig: We? Lotte: John and me.
Girl:Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. Waiter: Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich ? Girl:Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. Waiter: Malkovich Malkovich. (Turning to Malkovich) Malkovich ? Malkovich: Malkovich !
Maxine: Who the fuck is John Malkovich? Craig: He’s an actor. One of the great American actors of the 20th century. Maxine: What’s he been in? Craig: Lots of things. He’s very well respected. That jewel thief movie, for example. The point is that this is a very odd thing, supernatural, for lack of a better word. It raises all sorts of philosophical questions about the nature of self, about the existence of the soul. Am I me? Is Malkovich Malkovich? Was the Buddha right, is duality an illusion? Do you see what a can of worms this portal is? I don’t think I can go on living my life as I have lived it. There’s only one thing to do. Let’s get married right away. Maxine: Is this Malkovich fellow appealing? Craig: Yes, of course! He’s a celebrity! Maxine: Good. We’ll sell tickets. Craig: Tickets to Malkovich? Maxine: Exactly. Two hundred dollars a pop.
Do you have any idea what it’s like to have two people look at you with total lust and devotion through the same pair of eyes? No, I don’t suppose you would.. Quite a thrill, Craigy
Do you know what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is?
Do you see what a can of worms this portal is?
Don’t stand in the way of my actualization as a man!
Have you ever had two people look at you, with complete lust and devotion, through the same pair of eyes?
Hey Malkovich, think fast!
hot lesbian witches, think of it man, it’s fucking genius!
I have been to the dark side. I have seen a world that no man should ever see.
I piss orange.
I think it’s kinda sexy that John Malkovich has a portal, y’know, sort of like, it’s like, like he has a vagina. It’s sort of vaginal, y’know, like he has a, he has a penis AND a vagina. I mean, it’s sort of like… Malkovich’s… feminine side. I like that.
I think, I feel, I suffer.
I think. I feel. I suffer.
I’ll meet you on the side of the road, by the New Jersey turnpike.
I’ll protect you, doll face.
I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a penis. Now I’ll know.
I’ve been very lonely in my isolated tower of indecipherable speech.
If you ever got me, you wouldn’t have a clue what to do with me.
It’s my head Schwartz! It’s my head!
LITTLE JOHNNY MALKOPEE!!
Malkovich Malkovich.
Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich…Malcokich Malkovich Malkovich Malcokich Malkovich Malkovich Malcokich Malkovich Malkovich Malcokich Malkovich Malkovich Malcokich Malkovich Malkovich Malcokich Malkovich Malkovich
Maybe she’s using you to channel some dead lesbian lover.
Meet you in Malkovich in an hour.
Nobody’s looking for a puppeteer in today’s wintery economic climate.
Nobody’s looking for a puppeteer in today’s wintry economic climate.
She has her doctorate in speech impedimentology from Case Western.
So tell me somwthing about yourself…
Well, I’m a puppeter…
CHECK!
That’s even better! Hot lesbian witches, think about it, it’s fucking genius.
The truth is for suckers, Johnny boy.
This portal is mine and must be sealed up forever, for the love of God.
Truth is for suckers, Johnny Boy.
what happens when a man goes through his own portal?
You don’t know how lucky you are being a monkey. Because consciousness is a terrible curse. I think. I feel. I suffer.
You don’t know how lucky you are, being a monkey.
You see the world through John Malkovich’s eyes! Then, after about 15 minutes, you’re spit into a ditch on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike!
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Being John Malkovich’: Quotes from the movie ‘Being John Malkovich’
