Movie Quotes from American Wedding: Quotes from the movie American Wedding

I’m gonna hang out wit my wang out!
I’m gonna rock out wit my cock out!

(Finch)Hey heres an idea for you…Grow a sack, fill it will balls, sprout a dick and then fuck yourself…

(puts hand on blow up dolls boob) Is this weird? ~ Stiffer
Is this wierd it feels good? I love this dog! ~ Sitffler

1) You’re a grandmother fucker!! 2) Well you’re a mother fucker!!
1)Yes I am…

1) You’re an asshole 2) I know 1) You really are an asshole 2) Thanks

1. I haven’t been this confused since my first period. 2. Well that’s a very confusing time for any young lady things going out things going in. 1. No I don;t need help with my period I need help with my vows.

1. Why don’t you use your napkin? 2. I don’t need a napkin.

1.)Grandmother fucker 2.)Yeah, you’re a mother fucker. 1.) Yes I am

1:Finch? Finch is boneable!
2:Finch is boneable

1:Maybe you wanna make things extra special tonight?
2:Which room’s yours?
1:Ahhhh, I’m crashin at Kevin’s
2:Well, I saw like a big fluffy linen closet at the end of the hall…
1:Yes! Big fluffy linen closet is good!

1:Why do you think they call it making love?
2:I don’t know. I just call it boning!
1:Boning. Well we can’t be boning from sunrise to sunset.
2:Oh you’ve never tried it?
1:I certainly have. I have. I’ve boned from sunrise right through brunch.

A witty saying proves nothing -Voltaire

Suck my dick -Ron Jeremy

And all of that just radiates from you oh so sexy self

And let me tell you, your mother, bless her, can still make me squeal like a pig

Besides all of the shits, fucks, and blow mes, there is a really good guy underneath it all.

Cadence, let’s leave the creighton here

CADENCE:You are an asshole. You are really an asshole.

Challenging, but do-able

Congadulation Jism ::laugh::


Congratulation Jism

Dad) Why do you think they call it making love?
Michelle)I just call it boning!

Damn Stiffie, you’ve got some moves

Dear Steve, I will be forever in your debt if you teach me to dance like you did in the gay bar.

Do it…Don’t fuck around…Just take a shit already. FUCKIN RIGHT DOGGY!

Dont push me cause i’m CLOSE-TO-THE-EDGE. I’m-trying-not-to-lose-my-head-UH HUH UHUH!

Everybody wants a piece of the Stiffmeister!!!!!


Finch- I’m gonna give you a quote to live by, love life, get paid, and then get laid. That is the key works of the Finchmiester

Finch: A Witty Statement proves nothing – Voltaire.
Stifler: HA, Suck my dick. – Ron Jeremy

Finch: Grand-mother fucker.
Stifler: Well you’re a mother fucker.
Finch: Yes, I am.

Finch: Love life, get paid, get laid

Finch: Now Jim let me handle it, these are my people.
Stifler: There Gay?
Finch: No you bleading imbosole they have style they’re culture they’re safesticated
Stifler: so there gay

Finch: Stifler, can you just forget about yourself for one secone. Stifler: Fuck you Finch. You didn’t eat shit, okay. You didn’t prance around here like a ballerina for the whole week, oh wedding this, suck my ass that. I’m special, you’re special, we’re all just a bunch of special fuckers aren’t we. We’ll you know what, Ima gonna get laid Finch fucker and its gonna be ohh so good. It’s gonna be like, you like this shit mama; and she’s gonna be like fucking rite doggy,, give it to me. Suck on my nipples like your, like your milking a cow.

Finch: Stifler, why are you so focused on me? Stifler: I’m suprised you don’t have tits

Finch:grandma fucker. Stifler:mother fucker. Finch:yeah i am.

Stiffler:Oh yeah. Well you’re a motherfucker
Finch:Yes I am.

FRAULEIN BRANDI:You boys have been very dirty!

fuck this, suck my ass that. i’m special ur special, we’re all just a bunch of special fuckers.. well u kno wat? i’mma gonna get laid finch fucker and its gonna be o so good

FUCK YOU Finch! You didn’t eat shit! I’m a-gonna get laid Finchfucker, and it’s gonna be oh-so-good. I’m gonna be like ‘you like that shit momma?’ and she’s gonna be like ‘fuckin right doggy! Give it to me!’

Fuckers,it’s not my fault!

fuckin right doggy

Fuckin right doggy, it’s about god damn time. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some shit to attend to.

Fuckin right doggy, that’s good cake!! ~Stiffler~

Fuckin’ right doggie that’s some good fuckin’ cake

Fucking A doggy, thats good cake….

fucking doggie right fucker

Fucking right doggy thats good cake!

Fucking-A right doggy that’s good cake.


girl: hi this is bear
stifler: woah u are a bear
stifler:how much u bench?
bear: how much u weigh?
stifler: haha why u gonna try and pick me up
bear:i bet you i could
stifler: I know you could,you are BIG

Grandma-fucker! Mother-fucker! Yes I am.

Great…You can blow me after practice

hah i got a frosted ass you want that for here or to go finch?

HAHA! I told you that guy wanted to fuck me!

Haha. Congratulation Jism. Haha.

Happy fuck day ass-mo

Happy fuck day asshole!

Happy fuck day assmouth!

Happy Fuck Day Fuckface

here’s a quote voltaire can suck my balls. well its about time someone said it!

Hey Finch, whats the capital of Thailand….BANGCOCK….

Hey Flower Fuckers! ya there?!

Hey, I’mg gonna give you guys a quote to live by, don’t fucking put things on the website if you don’t know the fucking lines. Go watch the movie and then submit, you’re ruing the fucking movie, you guys suck!

Hey, Pussys Pusssy

Hey, pussys pussy

Hi! Nice to meet you!! I’m his good friend Steven!!

Honestly, would you have passed up sex with Nadia?

how much u bench?
how much you weigh?
why, u wanna pick me up?

I am a master of the tantric art

I am special, You are special, we are all a bunch of special fuckers, aren’t we?

I can Dance

I DON’T CARE, could you just dance for me please?

I have’nt been this confused since I got my first period

I haven’t been this confused since I got my first period

I think I’m going to stretch my legs with the Finchmeister

I think under all those shits, fucks, and blow mes, there’s a caring and generous guy under there just wanting to get out!

I used to have this pet bass named Barney he used to look at me like this or somthing ( makes a fishy face) well I don’t know. Somtimes I like to watch the discovery channel…~Officer Crystal

I don’t care, Could you dance for me? Please? ~ Stiffler

I’ll be giving you an enema

i’m gonna hang out with my wang out, and rock out with my cock out

I’m gonna hang out with my wang out, rock out with my cock out!

I’m keeping it safe in my room you silly sally

I’m special, you’re special, we’re all just a bunch of special fuckers!

I’m sure Lesley always helps associates of assholes

I’m the guy that just destroyed all the flowers for the Lowenstein-Bandgeek wedding!

if i were gay you would want me. Everyone wants a peice of the stiffmeister!

If I were gay, you’d want me!

Im gonna hang out with my wang out…..and Im gonna rock out with my cock out ::laugh::

is it weird that it feels good.

Is it weird that it feels good?

It on like King Kong, biatch!!!

It’s like a blind man picking out his favorite porno.. this shit is crazy!

It’s like watching monkeys use tools for the first time

It’s on like Donkey Kong, biatch

It’s on like Donkey Kong…. bitch!

It’s on like Donkey Kong….BIOTCH

Its time for me to boom boom with the bride’s maid, Finch Fucker

its time to bombom with the bridesmades finch fucker. Im gunna hang out with my wang out. And than im gunna rock out wit my cock out

JESUS…you fuckin stalker!

Jim he’s not doing it to be nice, he’s trying to bone Cadence

Jim Should I shave my balls
Do you shave your balls
How do you do it


Jim…you gotta stop masturbating

Jim: First of all I wanna thank you guys for coming… Stifler: This sucks

Jim: Maybe you should just leave, Stifler
Stifler: Okay, fine…adios!

Jim: you suck Fuckblock!

jim: You’re really good at this, you shouldtake ballet. Stilfer: FUCKFACE!!! What part of this sucks my ass don’t you under-fuckin-stand?

Jim:I need to ask your something i’ve never asked you before
Michelle:Is it KINKY??

Michelle’s parents:Why not?
Mr. Bellvedeare: Because I just checked on the dogs
Jim:Becuase he just checked on the dogs.

Jim:You can plan the bachelor party. Stiffler: With a dildo show?

Keep it real homies

Kevin: Finch you dont think there is one girl out there for you?
Finch: Kevin they’re all for me.

Kevin: STIFLER! Finch: Granny!! Stifler: Granny?? Granny: Focus, focus, focus! Stifler: Uhh..its not what it looks like! Ahh, shut the fuckin’ door!! (Finch)You got it, champ. (Stifler) AAAHHH!!!

Kevin: To the next step! Jim: ohh will you shutup with your next step bull shit

Kick fuckin ass 3 hour drive to Chicago to see titties!

Let me put it to you this way Jimbo, no pussy, no dancing, no pussy, no dancing

Let me refresh your memory partner…

lick my ballls damon

Listen up ass jockey. If I were gay, you’d want me.

Look at you, you pathetic little weasel

Look! Congratulation Jism!

Love isn’t just a feeling…It’s shaving your balls!

Love isnt a feeling, its something you do.

Love life get paid & get laid

Love life, get paid, and then get laid…..thats the motto of the Finchmister!

Love Life-Get paid-And then Get laid

Love mean shaving your balls

Love means shaving your balls

Master put the mop in my fanny

Michelle – This is huge! It’s like watching monkeys use tools for the first time!

My dick looks like a corn dog, i got cake all over my balls

My girlfriend has strict rules about this, touching.

My name is Steven Stifler and I have an 11 inch penis!……AROUND…..Think about it!

My queen, my goddess, my MILF. MILF! MIIILLLLFF! MILF!

no fucking way.. were goin to chicago to see titties!!!

No pussy, no dancing, no pussy, no dancing.

No, mama don’t want this

Observe the fuckin Stifmeister.

Of course he’s screwed, he’s getting married

Oh it’s on like Donkey Kong, biatch!

Oh Jim, you’ve got to stop masturbating, its melting your brain!

Oh Jim. You gotta stop masturbating! It’s melting your brain!

Oh yeah? listen up ass jockey. If I were gay, you’d want me.

pussys pussy

Relax and take it slow

Remember that time you wanted me to take a ride in your fanny?~ Jim

see?! i told u that guy wanted to fuck me!

Shitbrick, c’mon

So has Michelle ever told you about the story of how we fell in love?

Steve Stifler: Do it,Dont fuck around,Just relax and let it go, im sick of waiting,do it for daddy……..would you just take a shit already.

Steve Stifler: It’s about time for me to boom boom with the bridesmaids, Finch Fucker!

Steven Stifler just gave flowers to a girl and meant it! It’s like watching monkeys use tools for the first time!

Steven~ the whole things so lethargic to me
Caydence~ what do you mean?
Steven~ I have no idea

Stiffie, how slimming is this?

Stiffler: Do it…. dont fuck around… just relax… and let it go…. do it for daddy… will u just take a shit already?

Stiffler: what are you looking at? im not a stake

Stiffler: What the fuck Shit Brick!

Stiffler: whoa never break character again. i dont care if Kevin starts crying cuz Finch bit his cock off.

Stiffler:JEESUS! you fuckin stalker
Finch: your not a very stealthy theif
Stiffler: oh really well guess what shitbreak its a wedding everything is free… what do u want?
Finch: Jims grandmother doesnt approve of the wedding we are trying to run an interferance and reluctantly… im asking for your help
Stiffler: Sorry finchmiester… i got plans with cadence
Finch: could u not think about your dick for once and do somethign helpful
Stiffler: fuck you finch… you didnt eat shit…ok you didnt prance around like a ballerina this whole week… suck mya ss this….your special im special were all just a bunch of special fuckers arent we well ima gonna get laid finchfucker and its gona be like you like this shit momma? and shes gonna be like fucking right doggy give it to me suck on my nipples like your like your milkin a cow……

Stifler (to Finch): What’s the capital of Thailand? Bangkok! (punches Finch in the nuts)

stifler – ah jim look what you did, you got cake all over my dick!

Stifler to Jim: Hey, happy fuck day assface!

Stifler-Fuckin rites doggy

STIFLER: Do it, don’t fuck around, just relax, do it for daddy…Will you just take a shit already!

STIFLER: Don’t push me cause I’m close to the edge. I’m trying not to lose my head. Uh Huh Uh Huh

Stifler: Fuck Face! What part of this sucks my fucking colon do you not under fucking stand!

Stifler: Fuckin’ right doggie that’s good cake!

STIFLER: Happy Fuckday assmo, what happend to my invite, got lost in the mail fuckface

Stifler: Hey Finch, do you want this for here or to go?

Stifler: i hav a 11inch penis…..AROUND!! think about it!!

Stifler: I told you he wanted to fuck me!

STIFLER: Imma gonna get laid Finch fucker!

stifler: its time to boom boom with the bridesmaids

Stifler: Keep fighting the good fight. I love old people

STIFLER: Like I said, this is awesome!

STIFLER: Oh My God! What the fuck is going on here?

stifler: polish my balls and get me a milkshake!

stifler: pussys pussy

STIFLER: SHIIIT! I got a frosted ass-crack. Hey, Finch, do you want this for here or to go?

STIFLER: Thanks assholes!

STIFLER: What the fuck Shitbreak? FINCH: It’s chocolate

STIFLER: What the hell is our time?

STIFLER: You guys in a sporting goods stores, verrrry nice. Hey Finch, I think they’ve got your size, beautiful.

STIFLER: You keep fighting the good fight…..I love old people

Stifler: You suck Cockblock

Stifler: you suck fuckblock!

Stifler: You’re big, I could use a guy like you on my team.
Mr. Bellevelldear: Are you referring to our team or an actual team?
Stifler: What the hell is our team?

Stifler: Your one big floppy cock, look at you you gotta stand like a man

Stifler:I really hate actually liking you. Finch:I fucked ur mom

Stifler:I’m stylish, and cultured… I’m sophisticted
Gay guy: Oh, and that just RADIATES from your oh so sexy self.

Stifler:Oh, thanks shitbreak…*shudders*I fuckin’ hate not hating you!
Finch: *smiling* I did fuck your mom…twice.

Stifler:you didnt eat shit okay? you didnt prance around here like a ballerina for the whole week ‘oh wedding this, suck my ass that, I’m special you’re special we’re all just a bunch of special fuckers aren’t we?’ well you know what? I’ma gonna get laid Finch-fucker and it’s gonna be oh so good it’s gonna be like ‘you like this shit mama?’ and shes gonna be like ‘fuckin right doggie give it to me, suck on my nipples like you’re, like you’re milkin’ a cow like ‘(suck suck suck suck suck) meow (suck suck suck suck) meow

Suck my dick Ron Jeremy HAHA

Suck my dick. Ron Jeremy. *laughs*

suck my dick: ron jeremy

Suck on my nipples like yer milkin a cow

Thank you! This was all about THANK YOU! You’re welcome cockblock

That’s all you wanted to say?…was thanks?…well…Your welcome cockblock!

thats good fuckin cake aint it dog

The first pair of tits this guy saw, was cause of me. The first chick he hooked up with was at my cottage. Can I get a Halleluia? But my fellow fuckers this assmouth doesn’t want me, the grand fuckin facilitator, to attend his wedding. Who sucks donkey dick?

The food and the drink are really bad, F for presentation

The old lady sucked! We had to ditch her

They just think they raised a perfect band camp girl

Voltaire can suck on my balls!

We don’t quit at halftime ma’am! You don’t score until you score!

Well polish my nust and serve me a milk-shake.

well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake

Well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake!

well polish my nuts, and serve me a milkshake

Well shine my nuts and make me a milkshake.

Well Then It’s Alright If I Call You A Crotch Face, You Ball Scratching Finch Fucker….Or Better Yet, Go Blow Your Dad!!

Well your just a silly sally! ~ Stiffler

Well, polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake!

What happened to my invite, huh? Get lost in the mail, fuckface??

What part of suck my ass don’t you under-fuckin-stand

which part of this sucks my ass do you not under-fucking-stand? no pussy, no daanciing (fart noise) hows that for polite? hahaha


Who sucks donkey dick??? JIM SUCKS DONKEY DICK!!

whoah, you have a deep voice

Why don’t you grow a sac, put in it some balls, and then magically spout a dick

Wow, this really makes me important to the wedding

Yeah…take it!

Yo’ve been staring at those dogs like a hawk all day long. I’m a dog lover.

You don’t have to be embarrassed if you wanna add some spiciness to our relationship

You fed the ring to the dog, didn’t you?

You have to stop masturbating, it’s melting your brain

You know, son, in my day, pubic hair wasn’t a problem.

You like a blind man tryin to pick out his favorite porno!

You need to take another look around

You’re like a blind man picking out his favorite porno

you’ve made me the happiest man in the world!

Your Fucked now Jim

Your special, I’m special, We’re all just a bunch of special fuckers.

Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘American Wedding’: Quotes from the movie ‘American Wedding’

Leave a Comment