(Lesbian on porn movie:) Is that a loofah or are you happy to see me? …Loofah smuggling baby!
(OZZY):Here’s a new idea for ya Stifler, You find a girl…..you two become best friends and you don’t bother counting how many times you have sex with each other….you just laugh at the people that do count.(Stifler): Here’s a new idea for you, I’ll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass.
I’m touching his ass, i’m touching his ass, i’m touching his ass….
I, uh, just glued my self to… my-y-self
Is that a dress, is that a fucking dress?
It’s like you know all our stories
Oh was that a question?
I dunno, do you wanna answer anyway?
It’s piss poor to be this late. I’m angry, you can tell by the tone of my voice how angry I am. I’m pissed OFF…is what I am.
It’s time to boom boom with the bridesmaids
Jim – What…What are you doing??? Michelle – I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. Aren’t instruments fun?!?
Jim! Can’t you keep your shirt on? You’re scaring the chicks away!
Jim, can’t you leave your shirt on? Your scaring the chicks away.
Jim, can’t you put your shirt on. You’re scaring all the chicks away.
Jim: Hello? Boys control? I got a problem. i kinda glued myself to ummmm…..myself
Jim: Hello? poison control? I got a problem. i kinda glued myself to ummmm…..myself
Jim: Hello? Poison Control? I have a problem. I glued myself to … myself.
Jim: I super-glued myself to, uh,… myself.
jim:wot r u doin?stiffler:im looking 4 other lesbian artefacts
Just so there is no confucion…santa porn has brought us some heteral sexual entertainment.
just so theres no confusion, santa porn has brought us some heterosexual entertainment
Keep it real homies!
Keep it real homies.
Keep it real hommies
Ladies, I am Steve Stifler. And I have an 11 inch penis…around. Think about it.
like, this one time at band camp…
looks like someone gained a freshman 15. heres maybe this will help.
Looks like someone gained the freshman 15. here this will help
Moring Jimbo, how the twig and berrys?
My name is Petey and I have gigantic balls!
MY NAME IS PETEY! AND I HAVE GIGANTIC BALLS!
My name is Petey…..and I have gigantic balls!!!
My penis is 11 inches around! Think about it!
Nadia I am a band geek, I just never joined the band.
Nadia is going to expect fillet mignion and all I’m going to be able to give her is rump roast
Nadia, I am a band geek, I just never joined the band.
No matter what, times change and things are different. Th problem is, I don’t want them to be.
oh hey,hot spanish guy, Love ur accent,Luuurve ur ding dong-Stifler
oh no what have i done with johnny west!!!
Oh SHIT Dude I Found a DILDO!!!
Oh you mean that flutie tooting band geek who made me her BITCH and ditched me after prom
ok..you both jack him off! alright guys-i’ll take one for the team!
ONE TIME AT BAND CAMP…
oz: here a new idea for u stifler, u find a nice girl, u two become best friends and you dont count the number of times u have sex with her u just laough at the popl who do count
stifler: heres a new idea for u, ill get u a spoon so u can eat my ass
PUT THAT THING AWAY STIFFLER!!!
RUBBER DICKS FOR EVERYONE…DIL-DO DIL-DO DIL-DO!!!
Rule of 3. It’s an exact science. As consistent as gravity
Seems like just yesterday me dad picked me up from college.
Sherman : I’m…..the Shermanator…a sophisticated sex robot sent back in time to change the future for one lucky lady. Nadia : I am lucky lady? Sherman : Thats right Nadia, you have been targeted for Shermination. Come with me if you want to live ! (They go upstairs) Nadia : Fuck Me Geek !!!!!
Shut the fuck up before i break down the door and pummel your ass
Shut the fuck up or i will break down the door a pummel your ass!
Since when does Stifler’s mom drive a scooter?
So Jessica how many chicks did you sleep with this year?
Wouldn’t you like to know
Fuck yea i would
Sounds like your little friends outside wanna play too!!
spending your life playing in the band doesnt exactly give you that ultra cool hipster image
Stay away from that ficus. that’s a jizz free ficus
Stifer’s Brother: Wanna Fuck?
stiffler to oz- you fuckin pussy
Stiffler’s brother: Fuckers Fuckers Fuckers. How you doing boys
stiffler: finch stay the fuck away from that vikis, thats a giz free vikis
Stiffler: I can taste the bubbles…well no i can’t.How did u get it so warm?
Stifler : Ozzy I’m happy for ya, at least you’ve seen a nice bod while Heather’s off suckin’ dick.
Oz : Sifler keep your fantasies to yourself.
Stifler : Dude, use your fuckin’ brain. ‘Oh I’m American college chick, la-la-la, your European cultural shit is so charming. Oh hey, hot Spanish guy, love your accent….love your ding-dong.’ I’m tellin’ ya man, right now there’s a dick in your girlfriends mouth.
Stifler’s coming back to Grand Harbor. Deck the halls. Bye bye Great Falls, whipe my ass and lick my balls, its Stifler time baby.
Stifler’s house of loooove… uh straight love.
Stifler’s palace of love, straight love.
Stifler: hey heather baby, why don’t you tell my dick’s as big as stifler’s!
Stifler: Oh, yeah. The Stifmeister’s coming back to Grand Harbor. Deck the halls. Bye-bye, Great Falls. Wipe my ass and lick my balls. It’s Stifler time, baby.
Stifler: So Jessica, How many chicks did you bag at college? Jessica: Wouldn’t you like to know… Stifler: FUCK YEAH I WOULD!
Stifler:Big Blue Dicks for Everyone.dil..do…dil.do../dil.do
Jim:Where’d you find that?
STIFLER:JIM,YOU’RE A LOUSY KISSER.JIM:WAIT,THAT’S NOT FAIR.I WASN’T TRYING.WAIT,YOU WERE TRYING?
Stifler:Sherman hows it goin!? Sherman: Ok Stifler take your shot, haha. Stifler: No, c’mon man i’m really happy to see you.(Stifler offers him a high five) Sherman: AAllright(sherman tries to give stifler a high five) Stifler:You stupid fuck!!(as he pulls his arm away from sherman.)
STIFLER:TELL ME I HAVE A BIG DICK LIKE STIFLER.OZ:GET OFF.STIFLER:I ****AM****GETTING OFF,JUST LISTENING TO YOU TWO.
Stiflers Brother: thats a really nice top, you have beautiful eyes Girl: thanks Stiflers Brother: wanna fuck?
Stiflers little brother… what the hell are you doing here? (LIL Bro) The pussy man, the pussy.
Take me out to the pasture and shoot me, my sexual life is past it’s peek.
Tantra? What the fuuck is tantra?
Tantric? What the fuck is tantric?
Thank you Tall Oaks you’re beautiful. My name is Petey, and I have gigantic balls!
thats fucking discusting i’m gonna throw up
The Girl: You are so sweet. He`s … different.
Michelle: He`s my bitch.
The people demand rubber dicks
This is my first time…….since my first time so technically this is my second time
This one time, uh here.
This Summer Has Turned Out To Be GREAT!
This was a good christmas preasent you bought the kids the lezbians: Ohh my nipples are so hard
Touch me I bite
Two possible lesbians in their bra and panties.
u suck retard
Vic, I’d much rather have you as a friend than not have you in my life at all.
Wait a second! Who the fuck was in that car!
WANNA PLAY SOME ASSHOLE?
We are awfully proud of you, son…don’t forget your penis cream
WE JUST DID SOMETHING TOGETHER.VERY TOGETHER.
We will make out if one of you gives a guy head? What guys I am taking one for the team.
We’re very proud of you, son. Don’t forget your penis cream.
Well, evidently you two made quite the handsome couple on the Internet… Oh, I didn’t see it. It, uh, was brought up at a P.T.A. meeting.
where’s all the fucking females?
Where’s the fucking female?
Who was that? Just someone looking for the lake. What a dumbass! The lake’s right there!! ha ha!
whole shit I found a dildo…. Rubber dick, Rubber dick, Rubber dick
Why don’t you get yourself a spoon,
so you can eat my ass….
Why don’t you get yourself a spoon,
so you can eat my ass.
wipe my ass and lick my balls
wipe my ass and lick my balls !
yeah so this girl called me last night asking for my phone number
Yeah, I sorta glued myself to…. myself. No, no, no don’t send anyone over. Are there any household items that can work……. paint thinner.
Yes, the force is strong in that one.
You go get your geek! While I look for mine…
You know Jim, even though your friends may call you Jimbo, or Jimbodeeni, your mother and I still remember where James Emanuel Lovenstein came from.
OH, And don’t forget your penis cream.
You’re making me wet. really? no
You’re the only guy I know whose dick needs an instruction manual.
you’ve gotta preheat the oven before you stick in the turkey!
[phone rings](Stiffler picks up) Stiffler: Stiffler’s palace of love….straight love
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘American Pie II’: Quotes from the movie ‘American Pie II’
Finch ..STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THAT FICUS…..that’s a jizz free ficus……..
Finch I don’t want to hear about you and your boyfriends…go jerk off. Unessery
Finch STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THAT FICUS!!!…… that’s a jizz free ficus
Finch, Fist yourself
Finch, I don’t care what you do with your boyfriends. Go jerk off.
Finch, stay the fuck away from that fichus, thats a jizz free fichus.
Finch:Tantra teaches you to hold an orgasm, filling to the brim, until the ultimate moment when you release it upon the world
FUCK yeah LiL’ DOGGY! -=stifler=-
Fuck me, Geek!
FUCKERS FUCKERS FUCKERS
Fuckers, Fuckers, Fuckers, what’s going on boys? What the hell you doing here. The pussy, what else. Take a number
Gentalmen, i belive this is a party!
GIRL#1:WHERE’S MY CLARINET?GIRL#2:I JUST SHOVED IN YOUR BOX.JIM:OH I’M A BAD MAN,A BAD MAN.
GIRL:NO,YOU KISS HIM.STIFLER:DUDE,NO.
girl:who is that? cop: this is uh, john smith. im turning off the radio now (keeps listening).
Go fist yourself
Grab his ass son, you’ll like it.
Guys! Check this out! Lesbians, lesbians live here!
Guys, check this out! Lesbians, lesbians live here!
HA! What a dumbass, the lakes right there!
Have you seen my calarinet? I shoved it in your box!
he’s my bitch!
Hey everybody listen up! NOVA’S BACK BABY! AND HES TAKIN THE LOCK OFF HIS COCK!
Hey there he is. How are the twig and giggle berries? Great my dick looks like a paint by number. You have the only dick that needs and instruction manual.
Holy shit dude, if I didn’t have to hold my dick because I have to piss so bad, I would shake your hand.
Holy shit, dude, I found a dildo! Big, blue rubber dicks for everyone! The people demand rubber dicks! Dildo, dildo…
HOT DOGS! Here we come!
How’s this for a band camp story
howdy fucker partners
HOWDY HOWDY FUCKING PARTNERS
Howdy Howdy Fucking Partners!
Howdy, Howdy, How the fuck is everyone!
Howdy, Howdy, How the fuck is everyone!?
I am a band geek. I just never joined the band
I am not retarded – I am a very special boy!
I can taste the bubbles!
I DIDN’T GET HER NAME,BUT I’M SURE MY SON DID.
I didn’t get your daughters name but hopefully my son did
I don’t care if you gave me ten orgasms in a row, because you smell really really bad…NO I smell really really bad…
i eat pussy for lunch
I get nasty when i’m horny
I got a DILDO
I got gigantic balls
i got peed on
I got peed on.
I gotta keep this party going. Im taking one for the team.
I guess I’ve always been a band geek. I was just never in the band.
I had sex with many women, but none of them compare to Stifler’s mom.
I have an 11 inch penis…..AROUND!!!
I have an 11 inch penis…..around. Think about it?
I have an 11 inch penis…..Around…..Think about it.
I have an 11 inch penis….around
I have an 11 inch penis…AROUND!
I have an 11 inch penis..around
I have no future with Stifler’s mom…other than a very warped, kinky one
I just got peed on!
I just shoved a trumpet up your ass. Aren’t instruments fun?
I just wanted proof that you were really lesbians!
i’ll kiss every god damm guy in the place i’ve no problem with my sexuality
I’M HERE FOR THE PUSSY.JIM:TAKE A NUMBER.
I’M IN A LESBIAN STRONGHOLD.
i’m in a lesbien stronghold!
I’m like Cupid.
I’m not retarded, I’m a very special boy! -bum bum BUM!-
I’m not retarded, I’m a very special boy.
(whispering) They’re getting naked!
1) AAHH That didn’t even count!, That’s how you kiss your mother 2)Don’t you say anything!
1) I know! You feel his ass first! 2)Excuse Me?
1) it’s just friendly goodbye sex 2) technically we havent had friendly hello sex
1) RED LEADER WHAT’S YOUR POSITION! 2)I’m touching his ass! I’m touching his ass I’m touching his ass!! 1) MOMMY!!
1) Stifler, get off!!! 2) (laughing) I am getting off!
1) You suck, retard 2) I’m not a retard. I’m a very special boy
1)AHHHH!!!!!! Jim!!!! 2) OH MY GOD DAD GET OUT!!!!! 1)oh, hello, i’m uh, i’m jim’ dad. i didn’t get your daughter’s name but hopefully my son did.
1)And this one time…at..here….this visitor came, and we aren’t supposed to have visitors 2) yea yea, i know, and then a bear came.
1)are you a relative sir?
2)f*ck no this sh*t is just too good to miss!
1)Dude What are you doing??? 2)I’m looking for more lesbian artifacts!!
1)They warn us about these situations in college. Now you may intoxicated, oh yeah. Are you sure you’re willing to consend…2)Easy buster, don’t start counting your chickens. 1)I’m just playing by the rules baby. 2)I make the rules. 1)That’s a pretty good fucking rule.
1. Are you family?
2. Fuck no but this is too good to miss
Friend: You are so sweet. He is special.
Michelle: He’s my bitch.
Jessica: If a guy tells you how many girls he’s hooked up with, it’s not even close to that. You take that number and divide it by three, then you get the real total.
Jim’s Dad: Don’t forget your penis cream.
Jim: Ah, yes. You would be referring to the flute fetish band geek, who made me her bitch, and ditched me after prom.
Jim: I kind of super-glued myself to, uh.. myself.
Jim: Ow that’s cold. What is that?
Michelle: I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. Aren’t instruments fun?
Jim: That’s a lot of flutes.
Jim: What are you doing?
Stifler: Looking for more lesbian artifacts.
Kid: Guests bring food. Food attracts animals. This one time, a bear came. And then the bear had to be destroyed. Which means they shot it in the head with a rifle, and killed it, and it died.
Jim: Yeah, you must know Michelle.
little kid: What’s your position??
Stifler: I’m touching his ass I’m touching his ass I’m touching his ass
Michelle: (at bandcamp) It was just like this one time.. here.
Michelle: No, you dingbat. You don’t just go groping away. You gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey.
Sherman: I am the Sherminator, a sophisticated Sex-Robot sent through time to change the future for one lucky lady.
Nadia: And I am lucky lady?
Sherman: Nadia, you’ve been targeted for Shermination. Come with me if you want to live.
Stifler: (while being urinated on, thinking it’s champagne) I can taste the bubbles.
Stifler: I’ll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass.
Stifler: Jim, you’re the only guy I know who’s dick needs an instruction manual.
That’s a jizz free ficus.
A super start to a super summer, welcome home guys…
And one time, at band camp………
And that includes fucking me in the Ass!
And that includes fucking me up the ass!!
and there was this one time, at band camp…
AP3-im gonna hang out with my wang out,n im gonna rock ’em with my cock out
Awww yeah The Stiflermeister is coming back to Granharbor! Deck the halls, Bye bye GreatFalls, wipe my ass and lick my balls and it’s Stifler time baby! Whoooooo Hoooooooo
Big blue rubber dicks for EVERYONE!!
Big rubber dick for everyone!
Brilliant! You found Lesbians…
Bye Bye great falls deck the halls wipe my ass and lick my balls its STIFMISTER time Baby! yeah!!!!
Cmon Sherman, I’m really glad to see you
You stupid fuck
Come on now baby!
DIL-DO! DIL-DO! DIL-DO!
Don’t call me Steven!
Don’t Forget Ur Penis Cream
dont forget your penis cream
Dude are you wearing a fucking dress?!?
dude, am I gonna have a hangover tomorrow…cause I want one.
dude, i found a dildo hahaha. big blue rubber dicks for everyone! hahaha dildo,dildo,dildo. – stifler
dude, where’s the fuckin’ pussy
Dude,I found a dildo!!!