1)Don’t fuck with the Lords Of Hell!!!
2)Don’t fuck with the Babysitter!!!!!
I wonder if your parents will ever ask me to babysit again?
I don’t know but if they do I would ask for a buck more an hour.
1) You slip me the cash and I’ll slip you the wiener
2) I don’t have the cash
1) Well then I don’t have a wiener
(1)Kitten? (2)This ain’t no kitten, kid! (1)That’s a jumbo sized sewer rat!
(1)No way. What if the house explodes?
(2)The house is not going to explode.
(1)You leave him here, it will.
(1)Where are we going?
(2)To hell. Kind of exciting don’t you think?
(CHRIS) Oh great…that’s the restaurant Mike was supposed to take me tonight. (DARYL)Well looks like he went without you…take a left, check it out (SARA) What’s wrong, Chris? (CHRIS) Everything!!!
–I don’t think your parents will ever ask me to babysit again.
–If they do, I’d ask them for a buck more an hour.
-Don’t fuck with the lords of hell -Don’t fuck with the babysitter!
-I like danger -You should try babysitting
-I’d love to hit you, but you’re so slimey, I won’t sink to your level! -I will
-Is it a hand? -No -oh -It’s a gun -Oh my God!!
-what am I supposed to do? -get in the car and run him over!
-who is this kid? -stray dog
1) Chris, I have to cancel. My little sister got sick and my parents are going out tonight. 2) Well…I can come over and help out. We can make some chicken soup or something 3) No, you don’t want to be there, she’s contagious! I…I don’t want you to get sick…
1) How fast do your parents drive? 2) about 40 3) We’ll do 80!
1) If you boys give me any trouble I will kil you. Dead, Murdered, Stabed… 2) Raped? 1) I am too old for this crap.
1) It was a pool of mushy goo! 2)Like spagettios? 1) Spagettios with MEAT!
1) OHMIGOD!!!!! THERE’S A MAN WITH A GUN! GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE! 2) Look…Brenda, just hang up and sit down, I’ll be there in half an hour! 3) Oh please hurry, I think he’s gonna kill somebody, maybe ME!
1) Sarah, your parents would die if they knew i took you to the city. 2) No my parents would die if they knew you left me here alone with him.
1) What if the house explodes? 2) The house is not going to explode. 1) You leave him here and it will!
1) What’d you do with the hand? Did they bury it? 2) Wouldn’t let em’. I kept it. Put it in the glove compartment.
1) Who is this kid? 2) Daryl Coopersmith and you’re Chris Parker 3) Daryl, go home! 4) You must be a great babysitter! 5) WHAT is he talking about? 6) Mr. and Ms. Anderson must REALLY trust you to take little kids into the city….alone.
1) Would a Playboy Centerfold have nothing better to do on a Saturday night than to show up at a frat party with a bunch of kids? 2) Uh…maybe… 3) Could be… 4) Guys, where’s your brain?
1)(after the gang member shoves a knife in Brad’s, foot he says…) DON’T FUCK WITH THE LORDS OF HELL! 2) (after Chris is mad and grabs the knife and points it at the gang member, she says…) DON’T FUCK WITH THE BABYSITTER!
1). Do you think your parents will ever ask me to babysit again?
2). If they do, I’d ask them for a buck more an hour.
1). My mom is paying you good money to watch me. 2). Well, Brad can watch you. 1). Why would my mom pay you good money for Brad to watch me?
1).Take it back Brad. Take back what you said about Thor. 2). No. 3). If you don’t take it back, I’ll tell Chris about all those love poems you write about her. 4). OK,Ok I take it back. Thor is not a homo. 5). Thank you. Hi Chris!!!
1).Wanna see the footprint? 2).NOOO!!!
1)Crusing down the highway in a big ole cadaliac.
2)And its so hard,taking care of these guys.
1)Daryl, why are you hugging me?
2) Brad don’t you ever die on me! Ever!
1) O.K. I won’t.
1)Don’t fuck with the lord of hell.2.) Don’t fuck with the babysitter.
1)Nobody panic. This is all just a big mistake.
2) What about Brenda?
3) That was her parents’ mistake.
1)What are we going to do? 2)Get in the car and run him over.
1)what’d you do with the hand? Did they bury it? 2)No, wouldn’t let ’em, I kept it. Put it in the glove compartment.
1)You gotta be shittin’ me
2)Watch your mouth.
1) Watch my mouth? You gotta to be shittin’ me!
1. But I don’t have any cash! 2. Then I don’t have a weiner!
1. Could you just drop us off at a mall or something? 2. A mall? Where do you think we are Boise, Idaho?
1. Don’t waste your time, halfpint. Her legs are locked together at the knee.
2. I’d love to hit you. I’d love to pound on your face.
1. Yeah? Go ahead.
2. But I won’t. You’re so slimy, I won’t sink to your level.
3. I will.
1. I’m so lonely! 2. How could a righteous babe like you be lonely?
1. I’m so lonely. 2. How could a rightious (sic) babe like you be lonely? 1. Thats the sweetest thing anybody’s ever said to me! Wanna go to bed?
1. Nobody panic. This is all just a big mistake. 2. What about Brenda? 3. That was her parents’ mistake.
1. There you are, one stitch. 2. One stitch? 1. Yes, one stitch. 2. My only shot at ever being in a gang fight and all I get is one stitch? Chris is gonna think I’m a total failure!
1. You gotta be shittin’ me. 2. Watch your mouth. 1. Watch my mouth? You gotta to be shittin’ me!
1.But I don’t have any cash! 2.Then I don’t have a wiener!
1: Could you just drop us off at a mall or something?
2: A mall? Where do you think we are Boise, Idaho?
A kitty?! HAHAHAHAHA! That ain’t no kitten, lady… that’s a jumbo-sized sewer rat!
A Mall!!??? I Ain’t Goin to no Mall!
A mall? what do y’all think this is, Boise,Idaho?
Albert Collins: Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.
Baby BAby, It’s so hard….
Boy, this is a really cool coat. Not from Sears or anything, it’s way too cool. 2) Oh it was my grandpa’s 3) He’s got great taste 4) He’s dead…
BRAD) Uh…where’s the spear? CHRIS) I don’t know… DARYL) maybe it’s on the car
Brad, no more chocolate…your acne. Sara, it is time for your cough syrup.
Brad-Great, you wasted all my clearasil on another picture of Thor? Sara-Thor’s my hero. Brad- Thor is a homo.
Brad: Mike what?
Chris: Mike what what?
Daryl: Mike what what what are we talking about?
Brad: Daryl, why are you hugging me?
Daryl: Brad don’t you ever die on me! Ever!
Brad: O.K. I won’t.
Brad: I just think you should give other guys a chance.
Chris: Like who?
Sarah: Don’t say it… don’t say it!
Brad: Like me?
[Chris laughs]
Brad: What’s so funny?
Chris: Well, it’s just that… you’re just a child.
Brad: And your just a girl in love with an asshole.
Chris: Brad…
Brad: Forget it!
Brad: Uh… where’s the spare?
Daryl: Maybe it’s on the car… ya think?
Brad: Where we gonna get 50 bucks?
Sarah: We could sell Daryl. Ya’ think?
Brad: [about Daryl] Why do I get this funny feeling we’re never going to see him again?
Brad: [to Mike] You’re such a loser.
Daryl: Here we go again…
Brad: I can only dream about having somebody like Chris as a girlfriend… but you’ve got her… and you treat her like this?
Mike: Don’t waste your time, half pint. Her legs are locked together at the knee.
Brad: [grabs him by the collar] I’d love to hit you… I’d love to pound on your face!
Mike: Yeah? Go ahead.
Brad: But I won’t. You’re so slimy, I won’t sink to your level.
Daryl: I will.
[kicks Mike]
BRENDA: Chris, if I take a cab to the Anderson’s…do you think you could pay for it? CHRIS: Oh Brenda, that would be like forty dollars. I don’t have forty dollars! BRENDA: Well can you pick me up?! CHRIS: No Brenda, I’m babysitting!
Brenda: Chris, it really scary in here. I just saw two people shoot out a bald chineese lady with no pants on and there’s a guy outside who wants his suspenders and slippers! Bum: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! Brenda: You just moved!
But does everyone have the license plate Sooo Cool?
But when the babysitter looked more closely at the kids, she saw that…THEY DIDN’T HAVE ANY FACES. It was just a pool of mushy goo.
Can’t you read? Take him to the hospital!
can’t you read?? take him to the hospital!
Chris Parker: I forgot my purse…I don’t have any money…I don’t have my lisence!
Daryll Coopersmith: Did you forgot your purse?
Chris Parker: Yes, you little asshole!
Daryll Coopersmith: She’s great!
CHRIS: Because I want to stay home and be depressed… BRENDA: Oh then sit for the Andersons. That’ll depress anyone.
Chris: Brad, no chocolate! Your acne! Sarah, it’s time for your cough syrup… Daryl, fasten the seat belt!
Sarah: She’s definitely losing it.
Chris: I am not losing anything, I am still in control here! Got it?
Chris: Could you just drop us off at a mall or something?
Joe Gipp: A mall? Where do you think we are Boise, Idaho?
Chris: Gee Darryl, what are you – a gear head AND a sex fiend?
Chris: How’s your sister, she all better?
Chris: I don’t think your parents will ever ask me to babysit again.
Brad: If they do, I’d ask them for a buck more an hour.
Chris: Just relax, Chris, tonight is going to be the greatest night of your life.
CHRIS: My purse….! Oh shit! I don’t have any money, I don’t have my license! DARYL: Did you forget your purse?
Chris: Nobody panic. This is all just a big mistake.
Sarah: What about Brenda?
Brad: That was her parents’ mistake.
Chris: Now boys, if either of you give me any grief I swear to God I’ll kill you. Dead, murdered, stabbed.
Daryl: Raped?
Chris: I’m too old for this crap.
Chris: What do you want?
John Pruitt: I just want to help you.
Daryl: Don’t listen to him, he just wants to scrape our faces off.
Chris: Where are we going?
Darryl: To hell! Kinda exciting don’t ya think?
Chris: Who was at the back door?
Brad: Stray dog.
Chris: Who’s this
Sara: stray dog
Chris: What am I suppost to do?
Sara: Get int the car and run him over
Chris: [to Joe Gibb] Where are we going?
Daryl: To hell! Pretty exciting, don’tcha think?
Chris:If you boys give me any grief over the next hour I will kill you. Dead, murdered, stabbed. Darryl: Raped? Chris: I’m too old for this crap!
College Girl: I’m so lonely!
Daryl: How could a righteous babe like you be lonely?
College Girl: That’s the sweetest thing anybody’s ever said to me! Wanna go to bed?
Contagious?! He’s lying…
Daryl, fasten the seat belt!
Daryl: Don’t touch it! He could get infected, Jesus! Tetanus, rabies, scabies, emphysema!
DARYL: Hey are you spending the night at my house or what? BRAD: No…not anymore DARYL: Chris is here, isn’t she? BRAD: No! DARYL: Yes she is! That’s why I’m staying here tonight!
Daryl: You gotta be shittin’ me
Chris: Watch your mouth.
Daryl: Watch my mouth? You gotta to be shittin’ me!
Dishes are done, man!
Don’t FUCK with the babysitter
Don’t FUCK with the babysitter!
Don’t fuck with the Lords of Hell… Don’t fuck with the babysitter!
dont fuck with the lords of hell
dont fuck ….with the babysitter
Dr. Nuhkbane: There you are, one stitch.
Brad: One stitch?
Dr. Nuhkbane: Yes, one stitch.
Brad: My only shot at ever being in a gang fight and all I get is one stitch? Chris is gonna think I’m a total failure!
Gang Leader: Don’t fuck with the Lords of Hell.
Chris: Don’t fuck with the babysitter.
Get out of here!
get out of my house!
Gimme Shelter.
Got this call from Brenda, went to pick her up. My tire had a blowout, and my mom’s car got… SHOT UP!
He’s with Sesame Plexor? Ugh, she’s such a sleaze!
Hot Dog Vendor: Get out of here.
Hot Dog Vendor: Look, I’m through arguing with you, I don’t take checks, now slip me some cash and I’ll slip you the wiener.
Brenda: But I don’t have any cash.
Hot Dog Vendor: Then I don’t have a wiener.
Hot Dog Vendor: Yes, you want one?
I am too old for this shit.
I didn’t touch her, I’m just a child!
i like duuuudes
I think you’re the greatest, but my brother says you’re a homo.
I thought that…I thought that you loved me. Or is all that just bullshit, huh?
I’m gonna spike her tab with drain-o
I’m gonna spike her tab with Drain-O.
It it so great that I’m gonna tell my parents about you. Then maybe you could babysit for me….and then we can all go to New York just for kicks! Ya’ think?
It was a pool of mushy goo; like spaghetti o’s, spaghetti o’s with meat!
Kiss him!!
Listen to the bitch, Brad.
Mike: Girls like you come along once in a lifetime.
Chris: Or twice in the same night.
Mike: Girls like you come along once in a lifetime.
Mrs. Anderson) Brad don’t eat chocolate! You’re going to get zits all over your face!
My parents are driving me crazy. My stepmom is such a pain. If I don’t get out of the house, I’m gonna spike her tabs with Draino.
Nobody gets outta this place without singin’ the blues.
Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.
Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.
One stitch all better
Road trip? JESUS!! Where are you going?! Downtown. The city?! Sarah! Cool can I go? Who is this kid? Stray dog. Darryl Coopersmith. And you must be Chris Parker. You know Mr. and Mrs. Anderson must really trust you. Taking kids into the city….alone. What is he talking about!? In fact, I’m going to get my parents to talk to the Anderson’s about you. Darryl! And you can babysit for me. Chris stop him!! And then maybe we could go to New York or something just for kicks. DARRYL!! Ya think? What am I supposed to do? Get in the car and run him over. Let him come. Darryl? Can’t talk gotta run! Darryl will you just get in the car!? Alright!!
Sarah, where’s my clearasil?
Oh, I ran out of brown.
Sarah: Guess what, Brad!
Brad: Mom’s gonna kill you if she sees you wearing skates in the house.
Sarah: Mom’s gotta catch me first. Guess what?
Brad: I don’t care, wing head.
Sarah: Mom got Chris to babysit for me.
Brad: CHRIS?!
(A look of joy comes to Sarah’s face, and Brad spills food onto the floor. Sarah giggles and skates away.)
Brad: Sarah!
Sarah: Bye!
Sit down bitch.) Darrel: Brad are you gonna let them do that.)Brad: Hey.)Darrel: I was kidding
Take the Brady Bunch upstairs
Take the Brady Bunch upstairs.
This kid has got more class at fifteen than you’ll ever have!
Uh…sir, we didn’t mean to interrupt your little concert here…if you’ll excuse us, we’ll let ourselves off stage-
No one leaves the stage without singing the blues…
Well all the superheroes live in the city like, Daredevil and Captain America, but Thor is the best! He fights the forces of darkness! Forces of Darkness be aware!!!!
Who’s Mike? Is it your boyfriend?
Why would my mom pay you good money so Brad can watch me?
Yes, you want one?
You just can’t your foot out of your mouth can u? well let me help you…….don’t fuck with the lords of hell………don’t fuck with the baby sitter
You wasted my Clearisil on another picture of Thor?
you’re afraid of this, you kids must be from the suburbs
You’re right, babysitting is dangerous.
[in a telephone booth in the bus station]
Brenda: Chris it’s really scary down here. I’ve just seen three people shoot up, a bald Chinese lady with no pants on and there’s this old guy outside who wants his bedroom slippers!
Old Man: [Banging on telephone booth] Get out of my house!
Brenda: [Kicks out two small boxes] You just moved!
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Adventures in Babysitting’: Quotes from the movie ‘Adventures in Babysitting’
