Stupid Sayings 3: Funny stupid sayings

Here are some more Funny stupid sayings

 

Don’t be humble, you’re not that great.

 

Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

 

Don’t be sexist. Broads hate that.

 

Don’t believe everything you think.

 

Don’t cry because its over, smile because it happened.

 

Don’t let yesterday take up to much of today.

 

Don’t steal a police car unless you’re prepared to floor it all the way to Mexico.

 

Don’t tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.

 

Don’t tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

 

Don’t trust reality. After all, it’s only a collective hunch.

 

Drive defensively – buy a tank.

 

Drugs cause amnesia and other things I can’t remember.

 

Dyslexics have more fnu.

 

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

 

Early to rise, and early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

 

Earn cash in your spare time. Blackmail your friends.

 

Earth first! (We’ll strip-mine the other planets later).

 

Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun.

 

Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal.

 

Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance.

 

Elevators smell different to midgets.

 

Entropy isn’t what it used to be.

 

Even at a Mensa convention someone is the dumbest person in the room.

 

Every absurdity has a champion who will defend it.

 

Every man has his price. Mine is $3.95.

 

Every snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.

 

Every solution breeds new problems.

 

Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.

 

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

 

Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.

 

Everyone is beautiful if you squint a bit.

 

Everyone leaves the world a little better – some by leaving.

 

Everything is always okay in the end, if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.

 

Examine what is said, not who speaks.

 

Except for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex.

 

Excuse me, is there an airport nearby large enough for a private jet to land?

 

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

 

Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes.

 

F u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.

 

Failure is not an option – it’s a lifestyle.

 

Failure is not falling down, it is not getting up again.

 

Failure teaches success.

 

Fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, scratch where it itches.

 

Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy.

 

First rule of acting: whatever happens, look as if it were intended.

 

For a good time, call (415) 642-9483.

 

 

Page Topic: Funny stupid sayings