BEST. FUNNY SONG. EVER:
Today’s Quick Break: September 2, 2010:
Today’s Funny Pics
Today’s Funny Sign
Today’s Newspaper Fail
Pic of the Day:
Today’s Cute Shot #1:
Today’s Cute Shot #2:
Funny English
Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:
Today’s Riddle:
Did They Say It?
Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:
Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines
Today’s Funny Sayings
Today’s Stupid Questions:
~ Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?
~ If a word in the dictionary was misspelled, how would we know?
Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:
~ If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? — George Carlin
~ I had my coathangers spayed. — Steven Wright
Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)
~ Hi. I have only three months to live.
~ Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Today’s Puns:
~ Every day a peddler pulled his cart of wool from his home to the village market. It was a long trip. He had to travel around the perimeter of a large lake that was owned by the town tycoon, a modern-day scrooge. One day during the winter the lake froze over. The peddler realized that he could cut off 2 miles from his trip if he crossed over the lake. He was spotted halfway across the lake by the tycoon. Scrooge came racing out of his mansion and screamed at the peddler, “I’ll be danged if I let anyone pull the wool over my ice!”
~ A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:
~ He looks like his face caught fire and someone put it out with a pitchfork.
~ That gumbo will make a Chihuahua break a chain.
Today’s Jokes
~ I was having a drink at a local restaurant with my friend Justin when he spotted an attractive woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering his courage, he approached her and asked, “Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”
She responded by yelling at the top of her lungs, “No, I won’t come over to your place tonight!”
With everyone in the restaurant staring, Justin crept back to our table, puzzled and humiliated. A few minutes later, the woman walked over to us and apologized.
“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you,” she said, “but I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying human reaction to embarrassing situations.”
At the top of his lungs Justin responded, “What do you mean, five hundred dollars?”
~ A woman was just getting out of the shower when the doorbell rang. She threw on her towel and went to the door. Dave, a poker buddy of her husband’s was there. He looked at her in her towel for a minute and whispered “I’ll give you $500 right now if you take of your towel for just 10 seconds! That’s $50 a second!” She thought about it a second, and then took off her towel. He smiled, gave her the money and walked away. When she walked back into the bedroom, her husband asked “Was that Dave? Did he bring the $500 he owed me?”
Today’s Word Games
Today’s Crossword, Sukoku and Hangman:
Section: Quick Break
Cute and Funny Animal Pages
Cute and Funny Kittens
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Lolcats
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Cute and Funny Puppies
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