Today’s Quick Break: March 16, 2010:
Today’s Funny Pics
Today’s Funny Sign
Today’s Newspaper Fail
Pic of the Day:
Today’s Cute Shot #1:
Today’s Cute Shot #2:
Funny English
Did They Say It?
Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:
Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines
Today’s Funny Sayings
Today’s Stupid Questions:
~ Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
~ If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:
~ Swimming is not a sport; swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense! — George Carlin
~ The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions. — George Carlin
Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)
~ It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out. ~~~ Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else.
~ You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
Today’s Puns:
~ The cowboy reached for his gun and then drew a blank.
~ Some people find fire drills quite Alarming.
Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:
~ His family tree ain’t got no branches on it.
~ Couldn’t find his rear with his hands in his back pockets
Today’s Jokes
~ There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, “I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm.” The other cow replies, “I ain’t worried, it don’t affect us ducks.”
~ A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, “Jesus is watching you.”
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables.
Just as he grabbed the ipod docking station and speakers and put them in his bag her heard, clear as a bell he heard, “Jesus is watching you.”
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
“Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot.
“Yep,” the parrot confessed, then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you.”
The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?”
“Moses,” replied the bird.
“Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?”
“Pretty much the kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus.”
Today’s Word Games
Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:
Today’s Riddle:
Today’s Crossword, Sukoku and Hangman:
Back Page
Today’s Funny Song from Songdrops.com:
Today’s Dilbert. Here’s your daily dose of Dilbert:
Celebrity Birthdays:
Section: Quick Break
Cute and Funny Animal Pages
Cute and Funny Kittens
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Lolcats
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Cute and Funny Puppies
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