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Celebrity Poems: Send in your funny poetry about celebs.

Here are some funny and stupid celebrity poems from last year.  Now that the site has comments set up,  if you want to submit your own funny, stupid or timely celebrity poems, about recent celeb news or anything else Celeb, just send them in the comment form below. I try to keep the site pretty clean so I probably won’t be able to approve ones that have strong language, unless some letters are replaced with *.  

Cruise Control

As an actor, Tom Cruise is first rate
It’s some of the other stuff that isn’t so great
We had mostly forgiven how he dumped Nicole
And didn’t mind much his Scientology role

But then he met Katie, and everything changed
He jumped on that couch, looking crazed and insane
Suddenly the Kat was out of the bag
He was strutting and gushing and rushing to brag

We might have forgiven- New love has strange power
But then he attacked Brooke Shields and Matt Lauer
“There’s no such thing as a chemical imbalance” He blew.
“You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do!”

Ironic but true, we say with a shrug,
Maybe it’s Tom in most need of a drug.
A quick message to Tom: Though we fear it’s begun,
If they brainwash Katie, your career is all done!

Angelina’s Big… Smile

Poor Jennifer A., the girl next door
So sweet and pretty
Not too much like a whore.
She had her dream man
They passed all the tests
Till he came too close
To Angelina’s big–
smile.

Yes, Jen had it all, but all good things must pass.
What man could resist Angelina’s big–
smile.

But Jen’s a big girl.
We know she’ll be fine
And that whole strange Vince Vaughn thing
It WILL fade in time.

Yes, the sky is the limit, or maybe beyond
(Even though most of her movies have bombed)
She’s got a future- of that there’s no question.
And it’s good all the Friends passed on season 11
(Well, unless you count “Joey”, what a mistake.
At one point I wanted to call Robert Blake.)

But the point is she’s strong, and she’ll persevere
(Hey, Billy Bob Thornton is single, I hear)
Well, we’ve all learned a lesson- it just goes to show
Don’t let your man play the husband of Angelina Jo.
With that perfect body and face it all fits.
Brad couldn’t resist kissing her big–
smile.

For Britney
February 23rd, 2006

Yes, a good mother lets her new baby nap
Safely and soundly upon her soft lap

But while driving your car far too fast down a road?
With Sean’s head near an airbag that just might explode?
While on the cell phone and eating some fries?
And putting on make up and swatting some flies?

And cleaning your nostrils of mucus and hairs?
And wearing dark glasses to avoid all the stares
And checking the rear view to see if the paparazzi is gone?
And finding a station that’s playing your song?

And steering and breast feeding, which isn’t too easy
With bumps in the road and your hands all greasy.
We’re not ones to judge- life is hard to perfect
But if this is how you show love, then what would be neglect?

A Lovers’ Quarrel
(Donald Trump and Martha Stewart)

Donald and Martha- Such passion they show!
Such fiery hearts- alive and aglow
Try as they might to hide their love
We know what those sparks are REALLY made of.

To have so much hatred- that comes from hurt
The hurt of a love that got squashed in the dirt.
Ahh- Donny and Mar Mar- What a couple they’d make
If only their egos would take a small break
But the chances of that- well we all agree
Are really quite small- like 0.3
But frankly their bickering to us is quite tired
So Don Don and Marty- Bad news. You’re both fired!

Extra Bonding:

Daniel Craig’s first day on the job as 007.
February 23rd, 2006

Joaquin Phoenix Needs a Brake

February 23rd, 2006

Joaquin played Johnny cash
With great skill and panache
But he took a sharp curve
with a touch too much verve
At which point he was starring in “Crash”.

Ode to Paris
February 23rd, 2006

hot?

Not!

Please submit your own poems about celebrities below, in the comment form. The best candidates rhyme or are otherwise “poetic”, are not too mean spirited or inappropriate for general adult audiences, and are based on relatively recent news stories or events related to celebrities or famous people. .

Page Topic: Celebrity Poems

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16 Responses to “Celebrity Poems: Send in your funny poetry about celebs.””

1. Hawtiii Says:
   January 14th, 2008 at 11:14 pm

   There once was a little Witch
   Yes Britney Spears Was a b****
   She got real drunk
   And took her junk
   To the man alone in the ditch

2. maisha Says:
   February 4th, 2008 at 1:40 pm

   People say shes bootyful
   But I fink der craazzyy
   She finks shes all dat
   But shes jus a normal laddyy

   She mite be glitz and glam
   And yeh she she can sing
   Even though she’s rich
   It does’nt mean a fing

   Jus cuz she’s a wag
   N everyone calls her posh
   She always shows off
   Cuz she got so much dosh

3. jeff Says:
   April 16th, 2008 at 12:54 pm

   Amy Winehouse
   You’re on the news
   Like every day
   For really bad stuff
   It’s really gay

   You’ve probably done
   Like every drug
   I think someone
   Needs a hug

   Put your crackpipe
   On the shelf
   Your boyfriends want
   To kill themselves

   Your music’s good
   Your life span’s not
   Your hair is black
   And you like pot

4. shauni Says:
   May 31st, 2008 at 10:13 am

   can sum1 plz do a Joel madden poem but a nice 1

5. unnoneemouse Says:
   June 2nd, 2008 at 9:00 pm

   I love Jensen
   I love Chris
   I lovve Jenris

6. OMG Says:
   June 16th, 2008 at 5:37 pm

   lol jeff good one on amy winehouse….

7. LOL Says:
   November 10th, 2008 at 7:41 am

   NNIce.. had a laugh

8. Reagan Says:
   November 21st, 2008 at 9:54 pm

   Axl Rose
   Axl Rose performed November Rain
   When he suddenly felt a stabbing pain
   Slash had shoved a knife in his back
   Axl Rose started to quack

   Axl Rose liked to sing
   Axl Rose liked to wear bling
   When Axl Rose lost his bandana
   Axl Rose got hit in the head with a banana

   Axl Rose hated David Lee Roth
   One day Axl Rose went completely goth
   Axl Rose ate a bee
   Axl Rose was not filled with glee

   Axl Roses voice was deep
   Axl Roses pool was deep
   One night Axl Rose got drunk
   In his pool Axl Rose sunk

9. Reagan Says:
   November 21st, 2008 at 11:57 pm

   Hilary Duff
   Hillary Duff o Hillary Duff
   One day she got hit with a big ball of fluff
   Hillary Duff o Hillary Duff
   Got put in a very tight handcuff

10. Reagan Says:
    November 21st, 2008 at 11:59 pm

    Harry Potter
    Harry Potter had a lovely daughter
    The Daughter loved to slaughter
    Poor animals underwater
    Oh harry potter

11. Reagan Says:
    November 22nd, 2008 at 12:02 am

    THE BEATLES
    Beatles Beatles
    Ate a bag of needles
    If only they could get help
    They would no longer yelp

12. Reagan Says:
    November 22nd, 2008 at 12:20 pm

    SLASH
    SLASH
    SLASH
    SLASH
    SLASH

13. Anna =]]] Says:
    February 13th, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    Brittney Spears sins
    songs abut things
    but those songs are old
    thats why she went bald
    she got dumped by a dude
    and that was so rude
    and now she went wild
    her and her child

    =]] all credit to an 12 year old girl

14. Toxicbarbie Says:
    April 6th, 2009 at 8:22 pm

    Justin Timberlake.

    Just a guy who thinks he is
    Ultra cool. The
    Senseless pop star is only just a fool.
    The thickheaded wangsta may be able to dance, but
    In reality he needs to hang up the baggy pants.
    Nothing will help him loose his ‘boy band’ look.

    The screeching sound of his voice makes you think,
    Is this guy for real?
    Maybe he is nervous his career will sink. His
    Behavior is superior to a monkey. His
    Ears must deceive him because he’s just too funky!
    Really shouldn’t covered Kurt Cobain’s own hump.
    Like disposable diapers, always getting dumped.
    Acting or singing, he has neither.
    Know what’s cool about JT? I don’t either.
    Epic fail, Justin.

15. {Britneyfan} Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 6:37 pm

    dont talk sh** bout britney b***** u mess wit her ur on for it!!!!!!!!!!!!
    HATERZ!!!!

16. jessica1111 Says:
    July 28th, 2009 at 6:26 pm

    some people say shes pretty some people say shes rude some people say shes with chris brown have s** nude

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Section: Celebrity Central: Funny Celeb Stuff