Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?Â
 PARIS HILTON:
Huh?
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BUDDHA:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road and there was much rejoicing.
BILL O’ REILLY:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
HILLARY CLINTON: I’m glad my staff asked you to ask me that question. I chaired the senate chicken investigation which sought to determine exactly why this is happening and what we can do to stop it. I have a great deal of experience with chickens. I’m also very very likable and nice, isn’t that right Mom?
DARWIN:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
EINSTEIN:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken is a matter of relativity.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what “they” call it: the “other side.” Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.” That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It’s as plain and simple as that.
FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES:
I have just released the new Chicken Visa , which will not only cross roads, but will also lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook; and compete with Apple’s Smooth Eagle.
GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
MACHIAVELLI:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.
PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH
Finally, a question about something I know about. Down at the ranch in West Texas, we used to hunt chickens and they’d run across the road, where my brother would run over them with a truck. That’s what you call resourcingfulness, and I’m full of it.
JERRY SEINFELD:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, “What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway? What is wrong with that chicken?
DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road but why it crossed, I’ve not been told.
Page topic: Why did the chicken cross the road joke: answers from celebs and historical figures
