I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
#1: He’s never gonna leave her
#2: You right..your right..I know your right.
‘On the side’ is a very big thing for you.
(1 stares at 2) What? Is there something on my face? 2)You’re a very attractive person.
(1) – I always thought that he didn’t want to get married but the truth is that he didn’t want to marry me! *sobbing*… and i’m going to be fourty!
(2) – When?
(1) – *sniffle* someday
(1)You know one human year is equal to seven dog years
(2)Oh, and is one of us supposed to be a dog in this situation?
(1)Yes
(2)oh really? And who would be the dog
(1)You would
(sally fakes an orgasm)i want what shez having
(singing) Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry, when I take you out in my surrey; when I take you out in my surrey with the fringe on top. Now you.
–Emily is terrific!
–Yeah. But of course when I asked where she was when Kennedy was shot, she said ‘Ted Kennedy was shot?’
–No?
–Tell me I’ll never have to be out there again.
–You’ll never have to be out there again.
-AND I’M GONNA BE FORTY!!!!
-When?
-SOMEDAY!!!
..someone knocks at the door. I go to to answer it and there are movers, one wearing a T-shirt that says, Don’t fuck with Mr. Zero
1 – Oh, jeez, what are we supposed to do? It’s already out there! Call the cops! It’s already out there! 2 – Just let it lie, okay?
1 – See what I did? I didn’t let it lie. 2 – Harry… 1 – I said I would and I didn’t. 2 – Harry… 1 – I went the other way. 2 – Harry! 1 – Yes? 2 – We are just going to be friends, okay? 1 – Yeah. Great. Friends. Best thing.
1 – What I’m saying is, and this is not a come on in any way, shape or form, is that men and women can never be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. 2 – That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there’s no sex involved. 1 – No you don’t. 2 – Yes I do. 1 – No you don’t, you only think you do. 2 – You’re saying I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
1) ‘Cause someday, believe it or not, you’ll go 15 rounds over who’s gonna get this coffee table. This stupid, wagon-wheel, Roy Rogers, garage sale COFFEE TABLE! 2) I thought you said you liked it! 1) I WAS BEING NICE!!!
1) Ah, now that Ingrid Bergman. She’s low maintenance. 2) What? 1) There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance. 2) Which one am I? 1) You’re the worst kind. You’re high maintenance, but you think you’re low maintenance.
1) I don’t think he’s ever going to leave her! 2) NO ONE thinks he’s ever going to leave her. 1) You’re right, you’re right, I know you’re right.
1) I wrote that. 2) What? Get out of here. 1) yes I wrote that. 2) I’ve never quoted anything in my life, and you wrote that? That’s amazing! Now where did I read that?
1) I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you. 2) What? 1) I love you. 2) How do you expect me to respond to this? 1) How about, you love me too. 2) How about I’m leaving!
1) It was this big mystery, where was Sunday, where was Sunday, and I told him and he didn’t believe me.
2) What?
1) They don’t make Sunday.
2) Why not?
1) Because of God.
1) No man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her. 2) So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive? 1) No, you pretty much want to nail them too.
1) so your saying I should get married in case he’s about ot die 2)All I’m saying is that someone could marry your husband, and you’ll spend the rest of your life saying another woman is married to your husband.
1) That’s disgusting. 2) Why are you upset? This is not about you. 1)Yes it is about me. You are a human affront to all women and I am a woman.
1) That’s it? A faceless guy rips off your clothes and that’s the sex
fantasies you’ve been having since you were twelve. Exactly the same. 2) Well, sometimes I vary it a little. 1) Which part? 2) What I’m wearing.
1) The thing is, I love you. 2)Harry, what you you want me to say to that? 1) How about, you love me too? 2) How about, I’m leaving!
1) The thing is, I love you. 2)Harry, what you you want me to say to that? 2) How about, you love me too?
1) What’s the statute of limitations on apologies? 2) Umm…Ten years. 1) Ooh, I can just make it in under the mark!
1) Wouldn’t you rather be with Humphrey Bogart than the other guy? 2)I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in Casablanca married to a
man who runs a bar. I probably sound very snobbish to you but I don’t.
1) You go out for the safe lunch. Then you decide it’s safe to move on to dinner. You go dancing, you do the white man’s over-bite… [he dances] you go back to her place, you have sex and you know what’s the first thing that runs through your mind: How long do I have to lie here and hold her until I can go home? Is thirty seconds enough? 2) Is that true? Is that what you’re thinking? 1) Sure all men think that. How long do you like to be held? All night, right? See there’s your problem, somewhere between thirty seconds and all night is your problem. 2) I don’t have a problem. 1) Yea you do.
1) You take someone to the airport, it’s clearly the beginning of the relationship. That’s why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship. 2) Why? 1) Because eventually you move on and you don’t take someone to the airport, and I never wanted anyone to say to me ‘How come you never take me to the airport anymore?’
1) You were going to be a gymnast. 2) A journalist. 1) Right, that’s what I said.
1)’Baby talk’? That’s not a saying! 2)Oh, but ‘baby fish mouth’ is sweeping the nation?
1)Do you have any Bloody Mary mix? 2)Yes. 1)No, wait. Here’s what I want. Regular tomato juice, filled about three quarters, and add a splash of Bloody Mary mix, just a splash, and…a little piece of lime, but on the side.
1)He got married over a year ago! 2)Married…(shakes head)(folds a corner of a card)
1)I’m leaving. 2)You’ll never get a cab. 1)A hahaha!
1)look at this they definately need this
2)what is that?
1)battery operated pith helmet…with fan
1)Most women at one time or another have faked it.
2) Well, they haven’t faked it with me.
1) How do you know?
2) Because I know.
1) Oh. Right. Thats right. I forgot. Youre a man.
2) What was that supposed to mean?
1) Nothing. Its just that all men are sure it never happened to them and all women at one time or other have done it so you do the math.
1)So your telling me Mr. Zero knew you were getting a divorce before you did? 2)Yeah, Mr. Zero knew
1)Well, I guess we can’t be friends then. 2)Guess not. 1)Too bad…because you were the only person I knew in New York.
1)Were you pitying me? 2)No! I just– (1 slaps 2 in the face)
1)What do you want from me? 2)I don’t want anything from you.
1)Why can’t we get past this? I mean, are we gonna carry this thing around forever? 2)Forever? It just happened. 1)It happened three weeks ago.
1)Would you two like to sit together? 2)No. 3)Great! Thank you.
1)Yeah, plus, you know, you just get to a certain point where you get tired of the whole thing. 2)What whole thing? 1)The whole life-of-a-single-guy thing. You meet someone, you have the safe lunch, you decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner, you go dancing, you do the white man’s overbite, you go back to her place, you have sex, and the minute you’re finished, you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home? Is thirty seconds enough? 2)That’s what you’re thinking?
1)You know how a year to a person is like seven years to a dog? 2)Yes. Is one of us supposed to be a dog in this scenario? 1)Yes. 2)Who is the dog? 1)You are. 2)I am? I am the dog? 1)Um-hmm. 2)I am the dog? I don’t see that, (name). If anybody is the dog, you are the dog. You want to act like what happened didn’t mean anything. 1)I’m not saying it didn’t mean anything. I’m saying why does it mean EVERYTHING? 2)Because it does, and you should know that better than anyone because the minute that it happened, you walked right out the door. 1)I didn’t walk out– 2)No, sprinted is more like it. 1)We both agreed it was a mistake– 2)The worst mistake I ever made.
1)You might not believe this, but I never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice. 2)Fair enough, fair enough. You were going to be a gymnast. 1)A journalist. 2)Right, that’s what I said.
1)You were just so uptight then, you’re really much softer now.2)You know, I hate that kind of remark! It sounds like a compliment, but really it’s not. 1)ok…You’re still as hard as nails.
1)You’ve obviously never had good sex before. (walk into the diner) 2)How can you say that? It just so happens that I have had plenty of good sex! (everybody in the diner looks at her)
1-Tell me that I’ll never have to be out there again! 2- You’ll never have to be out there again.
1. Is Harry bringing someone to the wedding? 2. Well he was dating this anthropologist…. 1. What’s she like? 2. Thin, pretty, big tits…your basic nightmare.
1. But I would be proud..2. But I would be proud..1. To partake..2. to partake..1. Of your pecaan piiie. 2. pecaan piie. 1. Pecaaan Piiie!
1. For the rest of the afternoon, we are going to talk like dis. Waiter, there is too much pepper in my paprikash.
1. Well its pretty much the same dream I’ve been having since I was 12, there’s this man, and he rips off my clothes! 2. Whats he look like? 1. I dunno. 2. That’s it? Your sex dream from when you were 12 is a faceless man tearing your clothes off?
1: I said to myself, ‘ you deserve more than this.’ You’re 31 years old-
2: And the clock is ticking.
1: No, the clock doesn’t really start to tick until you’re 36.
3: God, you’re in such great shape.
1: Look, when the shit comes down, I’m gonna be prepared and you’re not, that’s all I’m saying.
2: And in the meantime, you’re gonna ruin your whole life waiting for it.
Sally- See Harry you say these things and it makes it impossible for me to hate you. And I hate you Hary….I really do.
A Sheldon can do your income taxes. If you need a root canal Sheldon’s your man, but humping and pumping is not Sheldon’s strong
suit. It’s the name. Do it to me ‘Sheldon’, you’re an animal ‘Sheldon’, ride me big ‘Sheldon’. Doesn’t work.
alex anderson
All I’m saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don’t get him first, somebody else will, and you’ll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband.
All I’m saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don’t get him first, somebody else will, and you’ll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband.
All I’m saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don’t get him first, somebody else will, and you’ll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband.
All this time I’ve been saying that he didn’t want to get married, but the truth is, he didn’t want to marry me.
And be the first lady of Czechlosovakia.
And I’m gonna be 40!
And I’m gonna be 40! In eight years.
And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
At least you could say you were married.
at least you could say you were married….
At that moment I knew, I knew the way you know about a good melon
Baby Talk? That’s not a quote! (Oh! But I heard Baby-fish mouth is sweeping the nation…I hear they’re talking!)
But really what’s so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is, you read the obituary column.
Do you think about death?
Don’t get involved with me Joe. I can’t even remember the name of the girl that I was such good friends with that I wouldn’t sleep with her boyfriend.
Don’t Pull Your Love.
dont f*ck with mr. zero
Emily is AUNT EMILY…but Harry doesn’t even like sweets.
Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor, but they
couldn’t possibly all have good taste.
Everyone thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor but they couldn’t possibley all have them.
Friday, Helen comes home from work, and she says, ‘I don’t know if I want to be married anymore.’ Like it’s the institution, you know, like it’s nothing personal, just something she’s been thinking about in a casual way. I’m calm, I say, ‘Why don’t we take some time to think about it?’ You know, don’t rush into anything. Next day, she says she’s thought about it, and she wants a trial separation. She just wants to try it, she says. But we can still date, she says, like this is supposed to cushion the blow. I mean, I got married so I could stop dating, so I don’t see where ‘we can still date’ is a big incentive, since the last thing you want to do is date your wife, who’s supposed to love you, which is what I’m saying to her when it occurs to me that maybe she doesn’t, so I say to her, ‘Don’t you love me anymore?’ and you know what she says? ‘I don’t know if I ever loved you.’
grape? no…i don’t like to eat between meals…..uh, i’ll roll down the window.
Had my dream again where I’m making love, and the Olympic judges are watching. I’d nailed the compulsaries, so this is it, the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadians, a perfect 10 from the Americans, and my mother, disguised as an East German judge, gave me a 5.6. Must have been the dismount.
Harry: Do me a favor for your own good. Put your names in all your books now, before they get mixed up and you don’t know who’s is who’s, because believe it or not, you’ll go 15 rounds over who’s gonna get this coffee table-this stupid wagon wheel Roy Rogers garage sale coffee table!!!
JESS: I thought you liked it?
HARRY: I WAS BEING NICE!!
he reached over and pulled a head out of my hair and started flossing with it at the table! you’re talking dream date compared to my horror story.
He’s never going to leave her. Marie, no thinks he’s ever going to leave her. You’re right, you’re right, I know you’re right.
His shirt said ‘Don’t fuck with Mr. Zero’.
How long do you want to be held afterwards? All night, right? See there’s your problem, somewhere between thirty seconds and all night is your problem.
How much worse can it get than finishing dinner having him reaching
over pull a hair out of my head and starts flossing with it at the table?
I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible…
I choose Us
I don’t feel great about it but I don’t hear anyone complain.
I got married so I could quit dating.
I had my dream again where I’m making love and the Olympic judges are watching. I’ve nailed the compulsaries so this is it: the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadian, perfect 10.0 from the American, and my mother disguised as an East German judge gave me a 5.6. It must have been the dismount.
I have a theory that hyroglyphics are just a ancient comic strip about a character named Sphinxy.
I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And its not because I’m lonely and its not because its new years eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible
I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
I said, ‘Don’t you love me, anymore?’ And she said, ‘I don’t know if I ever loved you.’
I then find myself singing Scurry with a Frindge on Top in front of Ira!
I want you to know that I will never like that coffee table
I want you to know…I would never want that coffee table.
I WAS BEING NICE!!!!
I was to be married, and you are not supposed to see the bride before the wedding, but I said, I will go see her and if she look nice, I will marry her. So I went to her willage, and saw her washing the clothes. And I say, okay, I will marry her. We have been married forty five years. (Asian couple)
I’d like the chef salad please with the oil and vinager on the side and the apple pie alamode
But I’d like the pie heated and I don’t want the ice cream on top I want it on the side and I’d like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it’s real, if it’s out of a can then nothing
(not even the pie?)
no just the pie but then not heated
I’d like to propose a toast to Harry and Sally. To Harry and Sally, if Marie or I had found either of them remotely attractive, we would not be here today.
I’ll have the chef salad please and the apple pie ala mode. But I’d like the pie heated, and I don’t want the ice cream on top, I’d like it on the side, and I’d like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it, if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it’s real…if it’s out of a can then nothing.
I’ll have the chef salad please, with the oil and vinegar on the side and the apple pie a la mode. But I don’t want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side, and I’d like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it, if not then no ice cream, just whipped cream, but only if it’s real, if its out the can then nothing. (waitress) Not even the pie? (Sally) No just the pie, but then not heated.
I’ll have what she’s having.
I’m a writer. I know dialogue and that is particularly harsh.
I’m Ben Smalls of the Coney Island Smalls.
I’m convinced that heiroglyphics are just a long comic strip about a character named Shynxy
I’m on your side, I’m just trying to help you have good taste.
im looking for love real love rediculous inconveniet consuming can’t live without eachother love
It was then that I knew. I knew the way you know about a good melon.
It’s amazing. You look like a normal person, but actually you are the angel of death.
It’s so awful there’s no way even to begin to explain what’s so awful
about it.
Its amazing. You look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death.
Jess – Sally writes for New Yorker magazine. Oh. Harry – you and Marie are both from New Jersey. Oh really – what part – Orange – South Haddenfield. Oh.
Jess: Baby talk? Whats that? Thats not a saying.
Harry: Oh, but baby fish mouth is sweeping the nation.
ken darman!
Let’s Call The Whole Thing off.
Marriages don’t break up on account of infidelity. It’s just a symptom that something else is wrong.
Maybe I only miss the idea of Helen…No, I miss the whole Helen.
men and women can never be friends cause the sex part always gets in the way
Oh but BabyFishmouth is sweeping the nation?
Oh! I’ve been looking for a red suede pump!
Oh, I’ve been looking for a red suede pump.
People were always crossing rooms to talk to Maxine.
Please say yes, Love Jonathan
Restaurants are to people in the eighties what theatre was to people in the sixties. I read that in magazine.
Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that is wonderful! But you gotta know that sooner or later you’re gonna be screaming at each other about who’s gonna get this dish. This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of That’s Mine, This Is Yours.
Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love-which is wonderful…but you gotta know that sooner or later you’re gonna be screaming at eachother about who’s gonna get this dish. This 8 dollar dish will cost you 1000 dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of thats mine this is yours!!
Right Time Of The Night.
S – You can’t take it back.
H – Why not?
s – Because it’s already out there!
Sally-Charlie Chaplin had babies when he was 73.
Harry-Yeah, but he was too old to pick ’em up.
Sally-oh..oohh…oh god… Harry-are you ok? Sally-)oh god!ohhhh! ohhhhh goooood!(Harry gets settled in to watch)Sally-OHHHH GOOOODDD!!!! OHHHHHH YES! OHHHHH YEEEEESSS!! YES! YES! YES! (bamming the table, everyone in the resteraunt turns to look) YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! yes! yesss….oh GOD…ohh..oh..(returns to eating and smiles at Harry)
SALLY: And I’m gonna be 40!
HARRY: When?
SALLY: Someday!
HARRY: In eight years.
See, that’s the problem. Somewhere between thirty seconds and all night is your problem.
So we start talking about where we went to school and she said she went to Michigan State, and this makes me think of Helen. Hellen went to Michigan State? No Northwestern, but they’re both big ten schools.
Someone is staring at you in personal growth.
Suppose nothing happens to you. Suppose you live out your whole life and nothing happens, you never meet anybody, you never become anything, and finally you die one of those New York deaths which nobody notices for two weeks until the smells drifts out into the hallway.
Ted Kennedy’s been shot?
That symptom is fucking my wife.
Thats just like you Harry! You say things like that and make it impossible for me to hate you! And I hate you. I really hate you.
The fact that you’re not answering leads me to believe that (a) you’re not home, (b) you’re home but you don’t want to talk to me, or (c) you’re home, desperately want to talk to me, but you’re trapped under something heavy. If it’s either (a) or (c), give me a call.
The movie that has the quote about julia roberts and pretty woman is from She’s All That!
this isn’t a quote, but someone asked in this list where the quote: I feel just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, excpet for that whole hooker thing. Rachael Leigh Cook said that in She’s All That.
University of Chicago, right?
vaiter, there is too much pepper on my poppykosh…but I’d be proud to partake of your pecan pie!
waiter there is too much pepper on my poppercosh
Waiter, there is too much papper on my paprikosh.
Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash
WAITRESS: What can I get you?
HARRY: I’ll have the number 3.
SALLY: I’d like the chef’s salad please with the oil and vinigar on the side and the apple pie a la mode.
WAITRESS: Chef and apple a la mode…
SALLY: But I’d like the pie heated and I don’t want the ice cream on top I want it on the side and I’d like strawbery instead of vanilla if you have it. If not then no ice cream just wip cream but only if it’s real if it’s out of the can then nothing.
WAITRESS: Not even the pie?
SALLY: No. Just the pie, but then not heated.
WAITRESS: What can I get you?
HARRY: I’ll have the number 3.
SALLY: I’d like the chef’s salad please with the oil and vinigar on the side and the apple pie a la mode.
WAITRESS: Chef and apple a la mode…
SALLY: But I’d like the pie heated and I don’t want the ice cream on top I want it on the side and I’d like strawbery instead of vanilla if you have it. If not then no ice cream just wip cream but only if it’s real if it’s out of the can then nothing.
WAITRESS: Not even the pie?
SALLY: No. Just the pie, but then not heated.
We went to this Ehtopian restaurant and I’m making a few jokes – oh this will be a quick meal
What I’m saying is… and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or
form, is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.
When you realize that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible…
When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with a person, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible
When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Where Or When.
Why is this necessary in life?
Would you like a pea pod with shrimp?
yeah but there both big 10 schools
yeah, well that symptom is fucking my wife
You are a human affront to all women and I am a woman.
You can’t express every feeling that you have every moment that you have them.
You know I have a theory that Hieroglyphics are really an ancient
comic strip about a character named Sphinxy.
You know it’s funny, we started out like this, Helen and I. We had blank walls, we hung things, we picked out tile together. Then you know what happens? 6 years later, you find yourself singing Surrey with a Fringe on Top IN FRONT OF IRA!
You know, I have a theory that hieroglyphics are just an ancient comic strip about a character named Sphinxy.
You made a woman meow?
You realize of course that we could never be friends.
You said that a man and a woman could never be friends..
No.I never said that…yes..men and women cannot be friends
You see, Harry…you say things like that and you make it impossible for me to hate you!
You were going to be a gymnast.
A journalist!
Right! A journalist, that’s what I said!
You’re right. You’re right. I know you’re right. He’s never gonna leave her.
You’re saying Mr. Zero knew you were getting a divorce a week before you did?
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘When Harry Met Sally…’: Quotes from the movie ‘When Harry Met Sally…’
