(after mooning teammates)Good moonin boys, good moonin! I’ve been up since the of dawn and I had to ASS you a question.
*puts condoms on counter* Asa Lama Lakem’
clerk: OK.
1) I’ve been up since the crack of dawn, and I had to ask you a question. What is up with Carrie Ann Baker?
2) What, Darcy’s friend?
1) Oh my god! She’s got this look! Like the, ‘I just fell out of the I’m gonna suck your dick tree and hit every branch on the way down.’
1) Now, son, I’m going to ask you one question. Can you play tonight? 2) *after thinking a bit* Yes, Coach. 1) That’s my soldier, William Robert. Now you rest here and take advantage. See you at 4:00 practice.
1.What’s Bacon doing here? 2.Billy Bob dropped him off and said you’d know how to take care of him.
1.You haven’t seen her in her whip cream bikini? 2.(long pause) No. 1.Well that’s how she got lance.
A 10…a 10…a fucking 10!
A) Cute ‘mount-me’ hats.
B) ‘Mount-me?’
A) Well, not right now, but maybe…
Are you ready for the fallout?
as I walk through the shadow of the valley of death I shall fear no faggots from Bingville
Before the game, Coach said ‘the next 40 minutes for 40 years of your life’. Well, I say we play the next 30 minutes for the next 30 minutes. We have a chance to be gods for the next half hour of football. Let’s be heroes.
Billy Bob : Hey Mox you skinny ass bitch. lets rool!!!!!!!!
Billy Bob : This here’s a strip club man. Im here to work.
Billy Bob cried, because he’s a bit of a crier. And Tweeder drank beer, because Tweeder drinks beer.
Billy Bob–Chug it Bacon Chug it. What do you mean is he a boy or a girl? Look at the size of that sausage. Hey..look at the size of that sausage.
Billy Bob–I love that dog. Mox– I think its a pig.. Billy Bob– Yeah!
Billy Bob–Look he’s from class of 1980 Tweeder–well thats team spirit you are from class of 1980 and still come to call these football parties.1908 guy–i wouldnt miss these Billy Bob–Look he’s from class of 1980 Tweeder–well do you want to be on worlds funniest camera? 1980 guy–yeah Tweeder– well put this flower pot over your head and stand up real tall and say im a stupid and i am about to get hit in the nuts! Billy Bob–thats funny! tweeder–aint it funny! they shoudl change the name of the show to funniest shots taken in the nuts!
bingville don’t stand no chance, cause bingville can’t see my dance
Boner is good. Boner is very good.
Call me ‘a Aliakbar Shebazz Da.’
Close your eyes. Now think real hard. Now say ‘I’m an idiot and I’m about to get hit in the nuts.’
Damn mox…..i though you knew
Darcy: Its kinda strange having you in my house
Mox: Yeah I feel like I’m doing something illegal
Darcy: Well not yet
did she use the whip cream on ya?
Every little thing counts.
Good moonin’ boys, good moonin!
Hand down Billy-Bob!
He’s gonna call some dinosaurs
Hey mox. you skinny ass bitch, lets roll
Hold on to your nipples, girls!
Hot for teacher.
I am the great and honorable Al Ali Akbar Shabaz Da
I don’t love Lance! It was never about love. It was about getting a better life!
I don’t want your life
I don’t want your life!
I give her a TEN! A FUCKING TEN!
i give it a 9.5, i still got wood
I give it….. a ten, a ten, a FUCKING 10!!
I got my cat scanned. Doc says I can play!
I gotta ax you a question. Just what is up with Veronica Ann Baker.
i need ya man who is protect my ass your boney ass i dont think i have boney i think i have a rather nice ass it is kinda nice
I was lying in bed last night and i drifted off to sleep and i had this dream. We were beating Bingville 14 to 3. When i woke up i was kinda sad. But i realized it was just a dream, cause i know we’re gonna beat alot worse than that.
If that needle goes anywhere near Wendalls leg, i swear to god on my mothers grave i will rip your arms off and beat you to death with them
In america we have laws, laws against killin and laws against stealin
In my time here at West Caanan High School, I’ve won 22 district championships and 2 state titles, count’em.
It costs too much to look that cheap.
Jonathan Moxon your are under arrest for not being naked with some sophomore chick who wants to bathe you with her tongue, now take off your clothes and get in the car.
Jonathon Moxon you are under arrest for not being naked in this car with some sophmore chick who wants to bath you with her tongue….
Kyle did you start a cult.. thats so sweet
bingville cant stand no chance
and bingville cant see no dance
you wanna see the new tweeder endzone dance
….
you wanna know what its called
the new tweeder endzone dance
Lance tore every ligament he’s got he’s gonna need a couple surgries just to fix it all.
Mox: Before this game started he said 48 minutes the next 48 years of our lives. I say fuck that, I say fuck that lets go out there and well play the next 24 minutes for the next 24 minutes. And leave it all out on the field, we got the rest of our lives to be mediocre but we got the opportunity to play like gods for the next half of football, but we cant be afraid to lose, there’s no room for fear in this game. If we go out there and we half ass it because where scared, all we have is an excuse, we’re always gonna wonder. But we go out there and we give it absolutely everything, that’s heroic….. lets be heroes
Mox:Billy-Bob you ready to run? BB:You really don’t think that play where i run down the field acting all stupid is really gonna? Mox:Be ready to run Billy-Bob. BB: Oh shit Mox..
Moxon get your ass in the game
Mrs. Davis, will you go to the prom with me?
Mrs. Davis: Pedro? 2nd String Quarterback: Yes Mrs. Davis, Pedro.
Ms Davis: Come on class say it with me. Penis, Penis Penis, Vagina, Vagina,Vagina. Class: Penis, Penis Penis, Vagina, Vagina, Vagina
Never show weakness! The only pain that matters is the pain you inflict!
Nice guys finish last.
NO dad, playing football at West Cannon High School, might have been the opportunity of your lifetime, but I don’t want your life!
Now I want y’all to repeat after me: penis, penis, penis; vagina, vagina, vagina!
oh honey, did you start a cult?
Oh, Big Billy Bob Crybaby!? You cost me my perfect season. How’s it feel? My quarterback is off limping, and to top it off I got watch you cry about it?
Ohh my god! It’s Johnny Moxon!
Somebody hold me up!
Oopdie-fucking-Oop!
Oopty oop? Oopty fuckin’ oop? You can’t run a simple slant pattern let alone oopty oop! (says to self while kicking dirt—> Oopty Oop)…
Playing football for West Cannan may have been the opportunity of your life, but I don’t want your life!
Police–Well if it aint Charlie Tweeder. Tweeder–Im glad you get to wear cute Mount me hats Police–Mount me? Tweeder–Well not right now maybe later Police–why i otta Police 2–hey hey hey we arent here to cause trouble we just wanted to say no drinking and driving. Tweeder-there will be no drinking and no driving. You know what you’re right here you go im going to go home. No you hurt my feelings and now i am going home, and you can kiss my ass! Police-Hey hey hes taking the car Tweeder–Im going to jail
police~ congradulations tweeder~ well congradulations to you too police~ congradulations for what? tweeder~ for getting to wear those cute lil mount me hats! police ~ mount me? tweeder ~ well not right away maybe after a couple of drinks …..
pukin rally!!!!
See, they need to change the name of the show to America’s Funniest Shots in the Nuts!
She broke my heart….so I broke her jaw.
She looks like she fell out of the I’ma suck yo’ dick tree and hit every branch on the way down!
TEN!! Fucking TEN!!
The day was ours and no one could ever take it away.
The male erection. Pitchin’ a tent, sportin’ a wood, stiffie, flesh rocket, tall tommy, Mr. Morbis, the march is on, icicle has formed, Jack’s magic beanstalk, purple-headed yogurt slinger…oh, and ah, Pedro.
These are my people.
This makes me wonder if you know the difference between a sneez and a wet fart!!!!!!!You gonna be second string all your life boy!!
Thunderstruck.
To bad no one had the bonk to hold us back when we was kids, hey Sammy boy!
Tonight we play Bingville! Tonight we beat Bingville!
Tonight, we play Bingville. Tonight, we beat Bingville.
Toss me one son.
Tweeder –Good moonin boys, Good moonin. I’ve been up since the crack of dawn and i had to ask you a question. What is up with Mary Sue Baker? Billy Bob–Darcies Friend Tweeder–Oh my god it looks like she just fell out of the i wanna suck your dick tree and hit every branch on the way down. Mox–You need to focus man. Tweeder–i cant focus i need to get some ass i need to hit some ass. I’m about to fuck your pig what do you think about that? Give me a Kiss
Tweeder–I give it a 9 1/2 i still got wood. Billy Bob–I give it a 10 a 10 a fuckin 10!
Tweeder–Man i cant concentrate cause all i can picture is Mrs.Davis’ fat ass bouncin in my face. Mox–i know i am hung over too
Tweeder-good moonin boys good moonin!! I woke up at the Cracka dawn and I had to ASS you a question. What is up with Carey Ann Baitmen? Billybob-Darcy’s friend? Tweeder-shes got this look, like oh my god i just fell off the im gon sick your dick tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Tweeder: Good mooning good mooning, i was up at the crack of dawn today boys and i had to ass you a question, what’s up with Carrie Ann Baker? BB: Who, Darcy’s friend? Tweeder: Yeah, she looks like she hit the I want to suck your dick tree, and hite every branch on the way down..
Tweeder: Listen, you give ’em a percocet, two vicaden and a couple of beers and the panties drop.
Wangers on the glass at the Kiwanas club
Wanna see the new Tweeter End Zone Dance? You know what I call it? The ‘New Tweeter End Zone Dance.’
We have the rest of our lives to be mediocre, but we have the chance to play like gods tonight. But we can’t be afraid to lose. There’s no room for fear in this game. Now if we go out there and half-ass it because we’re scared, then we’re left with nothing but an excuse. We’ll always wonder.
Well Mox…. Gota Bail. Ladie shut up and hold onto your nipples!
Well, Gee…heck…You referred to yourself as ‘one man.’ You are really enjoying this.
What the hell is that?
What’s that smell? 2.That’s us!
What’s that smell? 2That’s us
When we started this, Kilmer said 48 minutes for the next 48 years of our lives. I say fuck that. I say fuck that. Let’s go out there and play the next 24 minutes for the next 24 minutes. And we’ll leave all out on the field.
When we started this, Kilmer said 48 minutes for the next 48 years of our lives. I say fuck that. I say fuck that. Let’s go out there and play the next 24 minutes for the next 24 minutes. And we’ll leave all out on the field. We have the rest of our lives to be mediocre, but we have the chance to play like gods for the next half of football. But we can’t be afraid to lose. There’s no room for fear in this game. And if we go out there and half-ass it because we’re scared, then we’re left with nothing but an excuse. We’ll always wonder. But if we go out there and give it all we got, that?s heroic? Let?s be heroes.
When we started this, Kilmer said 48 minutes for the next 48 years of our lives. I say fuck that. I say fuck that. Let’s go out there and play the next 24 minutes for the next 24 minutes. And we’ll leave all out on the field. We have the rest of our lives to be mediocre, but we have the chance to play like gods for the next half of football. But we can’t be afraid to lose. There’s no room for fear in this game. And if we go out there and half-ass it because we’re scared, then we’re left with nothing but an excuse. We’ll always wonder. But if we go out there and give it all we got, thats heroic. Lets be heroes.
When we started this, Kilmer said 48 minutes for the next 48 years of our lives. I say fuck that. I say fuck that. Let’s go out there and play the next 24 minutes for the next 24 minutes. And we’ll leave all out on the field. We have the rest of our lives to be mediocre, but we have the chance to play like gods for the next half of football. But we can’t be afraid to lose. There’s no room for fear in this game. And if we go out there and half-ass it because we’re scared, then we’re left with nothing but an excuse. We’ll always wonder. But if we go out there and give it all we got, thats heroic? Lets be heroes.
Would you like some cheese with that whine?
Yea though I walk through the Valley of Death, I will fear no faggots from Bingville…
You give her 2 perkiset a vicodine and a couple of beers and the pantys drop. It’s nice, it’s niiiices!
You have got the be the dumbest smart kid I know!
You’re a scarey superstar!
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Varsity Blues’: Quotes from the movie ‘Varsity Blues’
