I look back and the camara man is crying – not so much because of my performance although that had something to do with it but because he had is own things going on.
Trent: I wish they still had fights in this game so I could bitch-slap Wayne.
Mike: What? They don’t have fighting anymore?
Trent: Doesn’t that suck?
Mike: Why’d they get rid of the fighting? It was the best part of the old version.
Sue: I think kids were hittin’ each other or somethin’, man.
Trent: Yeah but you know what, Mike? You can make their heads bleed in this one.
Mike: Make somebody’s head bleed.
Sue: No man, we’re in the playoffs.
(1) She’s business class anyway. (2) Business Class?
(3) You know, ass too wide for coach. She has to sit in business class.
(Mike)So tomorrow. (Trent)No, a day, then a day. (Mike)So two days. (Sue)I guess you could say that. (Mike)How long til you call your babies? (Trent & Sue)Six days.
…well, we all have stories
1) Ahh…She’s Bussiness Class. 2) What’s Bussiness Class? 1) You know big butt – can’t fly coach.
1) Look, we’re gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for this one party and you’re going to say it sucks and we’re all gonna leave and then we’re gonna go look for this other party. But all the parties and all the bars, they all suck. I spend half the night talking to some girl who’s looking around the room to see if there’s somebody else who’s more important she should be talking to. And it’s like I’m supposed to be all happy ’cause she’s wearing a backpack, you know? And half of them are just nasty skanks who wouldn’t be nothing except they’re surrounded by a bunch of drunken horny assholes. And I’m gonna tell you something T. Are you listening?
2) Yeah, I’m listening.
1) I’m not gonna be one of those assholes. Alright? It just makes me sick. It’s like, some nasty skank who isn’t half the woman my girlfriend is, is gonna front me? It makes me want to fuckin’ puke!
1) That was your last message. *Beep* You need to put things in perspective. 2) I know, I know. 1) She doesn’t deserve you. 2) Thanks, I appreaciate that. 1) There are plenty of fish in the sea. 2) Great, that’s great advice. Ok? Thanks Bye-bye. 1) Life after all… 2) Will you please stop I am trying to make a call. 1) Are you calling her? 2) NO. Will you stop? Please.
1) What’s that guy’s name again? Sue? 2) Yeah, Sue. His dad was a big Johnny Cash fan from my understanding. 1) Right, right, the song. 2) Yeah, a Boy Named Sue. That’s why I figure he’s such a mean cat. 1) That guy? 2) OH, he’s a bad guy. He don’t look it. No…he’s mean, man. I saw him in a fight once. He’s got this guy’s fuckin head and he’s smacking this guys head into the curb, like his mouth, just smshing his head into the curb. Just smashin’, he teeth came out, he was just smashin like fuckin’ Wack, Wack Wack and fucking blood came out of his fuckin’ mouth. It was nasty.
Nice guy though. That guy’s cool.
1)Like a Las Vegas waitress is going to get an obscure French Philisophical reference. I might as well have said Let Me Jump Your Ignorant Bones.
1)Sometimes it still hurts. You know how it is. You wake up everyday and it hurts. Then you wake up one day and the pain is gone. It’s like you almost miss that pain.
2)You miss the pain?
1)Yeah. For the same reason that you missed her, ‘cause you lived with it for so long.
1. People get carjacked.
2. Oh, who would ever carjack your fucking K-car?
1. What do you drive?
2. A Cavalier…It’s red…It’s a red Cavalier.
341
818?…310…aahh…
And if you tell that bartender to go extra easy on the water, this 50 cent piece has your name on it.
…and she’s a sweet girl, and I love her to pieces, but fuck her, man. You’ve gotta get on with your life. You’ve to gotta let go of the past, and, Mikey, when you do, I’m tellin’ ya, the future is beautiful.
Baby, we’re gonna give Big Daddy the old Rainman sweep.
Bookshakalaka!
Cause I’m tall but I look young . . .
Daddy’s gonna get her to bring her friend. And I don’t care if I end up with her, or one of her beautiful baby friends.
Darlin, I want you to remember this face here. This is the guy, behind the guy, behind the guy.
Deez nuts crunch
Did you hear that our babys all growns up. YEEE-AAAHH!! DIG THAT!!! I’m the ass-hole…. Yeah i’m the ass-hole
didn’t you see Boyz N’ the Hood? Now one of us is going to get shot!
Do you think i even know what they’re saying to me half the time, bro? I don’t know if they’re telling me how hard it is to be adopted or why their daddy doesn’t love ’em. All I do is wrinkle my eyebrows and stare at their lips and , somehow, i turn out to be this big sweetheart.
do you want me to ask her mikey? fine i’ll ask her. excuse me miss, do you know where the high school girls hang out around here?
do you want this? i don’t want this. i would never eat here.
Everyday you wake up the pain is a little less. Then one day you wake up and the pain is gone. But its like you almost miss that pain because, you know, you lived with it for so long.
growns up
Haven’t you seen Boyz N The Hood? Now one of us is going to get shot.
He’s right, Sue. You don’t need to carry a Gat.
hi this is nicki, leave a message…
Hold your horses, Voltaire
I don’t know, it was ‘Drugs Are Bad’, ‘Jenny Eat Something’, whatever-it was an After School Special.
I don’t want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone’s *really* hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you’re not sure whether or not you like yet. You’re not sure where he’s coming from. Okay? You’re a bad man. You’re a bad man, Mikey. You’re a bad man, bad man.
I don’t want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone’s really hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you’re not sure whether or not you like yet. You’re not sure where he’s coming from. Okay? You’re a bad man. You’re a bad man. You’re a bad man, bad man.
I don’t want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie that everyone is really hoping makes it happen.
I don’t want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie where everyone is really hoping for him. I want you to be the guy in the rated R movie where no one is to sure about him.
I don’t want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie where everyone is really hoping. I want you to be the guy in the rated R movie where no one is to sure about him.
I dont want you to be the guy in the PG movie that everyone really hopes it happens for…I want you to be the guy in the rated R movie that, your not sure if you like this guy yet, your not quite sure where he is coming from…your a bad man, bad man, bad man.
I grew up in L.A…….Anahiem.
I hear he drives a carriage
I thought real men didn’t like quiche
I took the Kings to the Cup.
Yeah, against the computer with the offsides turned off.
I was about to do my thing with the thing
I would never eat in this place anyway.
I’ll have a scotch on the rocks, please. Any scotch will do, as long as it’s not a blend, of course. Single malt, Glen Livet, Glen Galley, perhaps, any glen.
I’ll have eggs in the age of enlightenment
I’ll have pancakes in the age of enlightenment
I’ll have the pancakes in the age of enlightenment
I’m a Dorothy.
I’m going to find me two cocktail waitresses and I’m gonna pull me a Fredo
I’m gonna find me two waitresses here and I’m gonna pull me a Fredo.
I’m gonna make Wayne’s head bleed for super fan #99 over hear.
i’m the asshole. yeah everyone look at the asshole.
Is he brown? Is he pretty?
is he clean mikey?
Is he clean?
IS HE CLEAN? IS HE BROWN? MAKE HIM TAKE HIS SHOES OFF.
It’s not even so much me as it’s Roenick. He’s good.
It’s not so much me as it’s Roenick. He’s good.
It’s not so much me. It’s roenick, he’s good.
its like you got these claws.
its not so much me as it’s Roenick
ladies dont you always double down on eleven?
Like House of Pain was gonna do anything?
look at little wayne his heads bleeding
Look at you … look at you … you want to kiss me.
LOOK AT YOU, YOU WANNA KISS ME.
Margot likes boys!
Mark sucks
Maybe you’d feel a little more comfortable at one of our lower stakes tables.
Mike: …I feel like I should show respect.
Trent: Mike, respect my ass.
Mike: How about if I wait six weeks to call. I could tell her I found her number while I was cleaning out my wallet, I can’t remember where we met. I’ll ask her what she looks like and then I’ll ask her if we fucked. How about that? Would that be money?
Oh C’mon. Like house of pain was really gonna do anything
Oh he’s a bad guy, no i saw him in this fight once, no he’s mean man
Oh yeah, like fucking House of Pain was really going to do anything.
Oh you know I really shouldn’t, but then again it’s a good idea, I’d love it . . . you’ll fix me up
Roll it up bitch!
Roll up Bitch!
Scott:Babies come from the ocean.Sometimes when the mommy and daddy go to pick the babies, it gets tangled with jellyfish, then the mommy has to pick a new baby. Scott: BYOB!Bring your own booyah!Scott: Dan likes the boys booyahyah!Peter:Is your refrigerator running?Because if it is, it probably runs like you….very homosexually.Snoop Dogg: If I ever quit rapping I’d start my own ice cream buisness and change my name to scoop dogg. Peter:Knicks suck, yankees suck, rangers suck, krypton sucks! Scott: Note to self shut up mark! NWA: Fuck the police!
see here’s the thing…she’s a nice girl…
SUE: I dunno, I called you monday.
GIRL: You called me? Well, who did you talk to? I was home Monday.
BIG T: It surprises me you’ve never mentioned her before, all the times we’ve hung out.
GIRL: You’ve never even mentioned me?
BIG T: You’re a very pretty girl.
SUE: I totally mentioned her.
BIG T: I’m sorry maybe, I dunno…you know whats funny, is, when we played, when we played football that day, I don’t remember you leaving long enough to make a phone call to anybody. This is what happened, she’s a nice girl…
SUE:Watch where you’re going asshole.
HIP HOP:What’d you say, bitch?
SUE:I said watch where you’re going, bitch.
HIP HOP:Ahhh, I see you want some then.
HIP HOP & POSSE:Fuck him up bro. Smack that fucking bitch. Smack that bitch. You’re dead motherfucker.
SUE:You have a problem with me bitch?
HIP HOP:Yeah I have a fucking problem motherfucker. You wanna go?
No you’re the fucking bitch baby. What up? Come on you little fucking pussy. Do it, do it, roll up!
SUE:You’re the fucking bitch.
HIP HOP:No you’re the fucking bitch, baby.
SUE:You know who the fucking bitch is? Huh, Huh. You’re the fucking bitch.
Super fan #99
The only thing I have to show for it is black lung.
there she is, the most special lady in town. Personality plus, smiles for me everytime i come in here
There’s nothing wrong with letting the girls know that you’re money and that you want to party.
There’s nothing wrong with letting the ladies know that you’re money, and that you wanna party.
There’s the rub.
They’re gonna give daddy the rainman sweet
This place is dead anyway!
This place is dead anyway…
this place is dead anyways
This place is dead anyways…
This place used to be a real contender back in the day, but now they’ll just appreciate the business. Probably fall all over themselves for a couple of high class guys like me and you. You want to be fresh and on the scene right? But I thought the places down the strip were where it’s at. Oh Mike you don’t want that fucking Pirates of the Carribean or the Rock and Roll grunge tip. Guys like you and me have to kick it here, old school. This place is definately old school. It’s definately old school.
Trent, the beautiful babies don’t work the midnight to six shift on a Wednesday. This is like the skank shift.
Trent: I wish they still had fights in this game so I could bitch-slap Wayne.
Mike: What? They don’t have fighting anymore?
Trent: Doesn’t that suck?
Mike: Why’d they get rid of the fighting? It was the best part of the old version.
Sue: I think kids were hittin’ each other or somethin’, man.
Trent: Yeah but you know what, Mike? You can make their heads bleed in this one.
Mike: Make somebody’s head bleed.
Sue: No man, we’re in the playoffs.
Trent: So, what’d you think of that Dorothy girl?
Mike: The whole Judy Garland thing kinda turned me on. Does that make me some kind of fag?
Trent: No, baby, you’re money.
Vegas ! ! Baby ! ! Vegas ! ! !
Vegas baby, Vegas.
watch out for this guy
We all have stories.
We’re gonna give big daddy the ole rainman sweep, can you dig that money?
Well, we’re not in Kansas anymore.
Who’s the big winner tonight at the casino? Mikey, Mikey’s the big winner!
Why did it have to be Goofy? Any other Disney character is fine. Mickey, Mickey’s an icon. There’s just something about Goofy.
Why do you have a gun? In case someone steps to you snoop dog?
Will you practice when I’m not here?
Yeah Man, this place is dead anyay.
Yeah, I gotta get up early tomorrow.
You bring something nice to wear!
You can’t do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back … At first you’re going to pretend to forget about her, you’ll not call her, I don’t know, whatever … but then eventually, you really will forget about her … (and) that’s the thing, somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
You don’t know my adress.
you got these fucking claws and these fangs, man! And you’re looking at your claws and you’re looking at your fangs. And you’re thinking to yourself, you don’t know what to do, man. “I don’t know how to kill the bunny.” With *this* you don’t know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?
You know that is your problem- is that You don’t look at the things that you have. You only look at the stuff you don’t have.
Those guys are right about you you’re money
you know the funny thing is… i don´t remember you leaving long enough to make a phone
You take yourself out of the game when you start talking about ice cream cones and puppy dogs!
You take yourself out of the game, you start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream and of course it’s going to end up on the friendship tip.
You want to kiss me right now!
You’re a big winner. I’m gonna ask you a simple question and I want you to listen to me: who’s the big winner here tonight at the casino? Huh? Mikey, that’s who. Mikey’s the big winner. Mikey wins.
You’re like a big bear, man.
You’re not hurting the bunny, you’re just battin the bunny around.
you’re so money and you don’t even know it
you’ve got these claws, and you’ve got these fangs. and you don’t know how to kill the bunny!!
You’re like a big bear, with claws and fangs, fangs man. Big fuckin teeth, yeah man with fuckin teeth on ya. She’s just like this little bunny who’s just kinda cowering in the corner. Shivering. Yeah man just kinda….. And you got these claws and you’re staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself with these claws, you’re thinkin now how am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny, and your poking at it. Yeah you’re not hurting it, you’re just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean. and the bunnies scared mike, the bunnies scared of you. And you got these fucking claws man and these fangs man, and you’re looking at your claws and your looking at your fangs and you’re thinking to yourself I don’t know what to do man, I don’t know how to kill the bunny with this you don’t know how to kill the bunny. Do you know what I mean? you’re like a big bear man.
Your the outgoin,fun-lovin, party guy and you’re sweatin some lawn jockey
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Swingers’: Quotes from the movie ‘Swingers’
