(1)he sure is one spartacus looking mutha fucka (2) yeah, now u can blow ya nose and wipe ya ass at the same time
1) Hank ? Hank : I appreciate everything that you’ve done , but is there any we we could get Charlie back here ? 2) Sure , Ok , and while your at it why don’t you climb that power pole over there and take a big steaming piss on the wire ? Look I’m not here to twist your niblets !…I’m here to save you life . But to do that I’m gonna need total uniniminonanenity …..
1) I have to take a pill once every 5 hours or else I feel..funny . Just a stupid thing .2) Oh , what’s it called ? 1) Advanced dilusionary schizophrenia(sp?) with invoulentary narsacistic rage .
1) Irene? 2) Hmmmmm? 1) Why am I peeing like I was up all night having sex?
1) Jesus Lord in heaven ! It’s a giant q-tip . 2) Hank ! 1) C’mon , I’m just messing with the guy . Bringing a little sun-shine into his life . Careful ! You’ll peel
1) Lee-harvey , what’s the diametre of a chicken egg ? 2) 4.08 cm 1) Na nah , what’s that in inches ? 2) 1.61 . Man , what the fuck you getting at ? 1) I got $10 that says I can sqeeze a chicken egg up his ass without it breaking . 3) Man you can’t get no chicken egg up his ass , I mean look at him : He’s a tight ass 1) No , it can be done . 2) I’l take that bet .
1) Like you only hear what you wanna hear ? 2) Thanks ..I like to keep it short …’specially in the summer .
1) So I smoked some pot . What is that ? A crime ? 2) Umm, yeah !
1) Still want to jump rope in the street ? 2) I’m gonna tell my daddy on you Charlie !1) Wrong answer , and the name’s HANK , fuck face !
1) Sweetie! That’s kinda dangerous. You wanna move it up onto the street away from the traffic? 2) (a little girl) My daddy says you’re a joke and I don’t have to listen to you! 1) Well, your father has a right to his own opinion, but I am an officer of the law, and by all rights I could- 2) Fuck off!
1) Vagi-clean huh? Whats the matter honey ? A little too much extra cheese on the taco ? 2) Excuse me ? 1) Oh no . Excuse ME … There’s no tag on this. Price check isle 5 , on Vagi-Clean . I repeat : Price check isle five, on vagi-clean . That’s VAGI CLEAN . We got a customer down here with full-on fallopean fungus . SHe’s baking a loaf of bread and I think it’s sour-dough . *SNIFF* Put a rush on that .
1) Well fuck my O-Zone . Hey ringworm ! Yeah I’m talking to you , you toxic waste of life. You gonna pick up that butt ? Or do I have to glue it to my shoe and shove it up your big pimpley A-Hole ? 2) Hey , relax Buddy : It’s just a cigarette beutt . 1) Oh yeah ? Well this is just a fist . But when I start throwing it around it can leave one helluva mess . Lets dance
1) What are those for? 2) Oh! It’s just this stupid thing. I have to take a pill every six hours or I feel… funny. No big deal. 1) What’s it called? 2) Advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage.
1) What are you staring at fucker ?! ..Yo wanna start me up ? Just open the choke and pull the cord pal . 2) Hey waht is your problem ..1) I got no beef with you ! This is between me and the kid
1) What you did to that kid was terrible . Didn’t you see the look on his face ? 2) Looked a little pale is all . 1 He was hurt . And Offended . 2) Well I beg to differ . But why speculate . .Hey milky !! 1) Hey ! No ! 2)COme on brair rabbit ! Hop down the bunny trail . Yeppa yeappa ! Undalai! Were you at all offended by our socail interaction here ? 3)Yeah actually I was . 2) Oh..was it the q-tip thing ? 3) Actaully I was pretty much offended but everything you said..sir
1.) How’s my little guy doing? 2.) Struggling. This quantum physics is confuning. If I don’t buckle down i’m gonna get myself another B+! 2.) Oh, that’d be whack!
Any major dude will tell you.
can i help you?
yes, officer bailygates, rhode island state police, i have your prisoner here miss irene waters.
ok ill tell them you’re here.
okaidy raidy.
what are those for?
oh its just this stupid thing, i have to take a pill every six hours or i feel…funny. no big deal.
whats it called?
advanced dillusionary skitzophrenia with involuntary narcesistic rage.
Charlie Baileygates: (sees a girl in the middle of the street in front of traffic and says:) Sweety! Sweety! That’s kind of dangerous. You wanna move up onto the sidewalk away from the traffic? Girl: My dad says you’re a joke and I don’t have to listen to you! (continues jumproping) Charlie Baileygates: Your father has a titled opinion but I am an officer of the law and by all rights I could- Girl: Fuck off! Charlie Baileygates: You should watch your mouth, little girl- (Girl screams, Charlie runs up some stairs to get away and the girl continues to jumprope.
come on , you’ve seen the guy. He’s like origami :Folds under pressure
damn daddy got a motha fuckin butthole on his chin
detective is your wife happy
is my wife happy
yeah cause if your fucking is anything like your police work then you couldnt hit the Gspot on a 12 pound pussy
Did you just refer to yourself in the 4th person?
For your information, you stuck it in your own ass!
get your cock outta my chrysler
Get your cock outta my chrysler!
Grab a hold of this motherfucker daddy!
Hank Evans: (as he pulls the girl out of a fountain he says:) It’s a skipper from the street! Girl: I gonna tell my daddy on you, Charlie! Hank Evans: Wrong answer. And the name’s Hank, fuckface! (pushes her back into the water)
Hank Evans: Well, fuck my ozone!
Hank: What are you looking at, Fucker? You wanna start me up? Just open the choke and pull the cord. I’m due for a sizemic event, and you’re dancing on the faultline.
Hank: Vagiclean huh? what’s the matter, honey a little extra cheese on the taco. um excuse me. Hank: Price check on Vagiclean Aisle 5 price check on vagiclean aisle 5 I repeat that’s Vagiclean. We got a woman down here with a full on fallopian fungus she’s baking a bread and I think its sourdough.
Hank:You said you would eat whale blubber….lil dude:yah she’ll be eating whale blubber all right…as soon as i free willy*
Hanky Panky not enough for you, eh?
He may have advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage, but he is a very gentle person.
He may have advanced dillusionary skitzophrenia with involuntary narcesistic rage, but he is a very gentle person.
Hes nutier than squirrel droppings
Hey daddy, look at it this way…now you can wipe your ass and blow your nose at the same damn time!!
Hey man..is oyur old lady happy? My old lady?? Yea cuz if your fuckin is as good as your police work, you couldn’t hit the G spot on a 12 lb. pu**y
Hey man..is your old lady happy? My old lady?? Yea cuz if your fuckin is as good as your police work, you couldn’t hit the G spot on a 12 lb. pu**y
hey mr taliban suck my fuckin cock bitch!!!
Hey! My daddy may have advanced dilusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage, but he is a very gentle person!
Hey, you didn’t happen to pick up a wallet off of the dash did ya?
hf
hold on cheese tits!
Holy Shit, it’s a giant Q-TIP
holy shit….It’s a gaint Q tip
How’s it hangin fellas?
Hungry ladies? Well here’s the footlong and a sack of nuts.
I feel your fear. It’s coming through like static on my heart radio.
I need a gun and lots of amo .
I noticed you conveniently left out your eating disorder . I don’t have an eating disorder Whatever you say slim .
I think we need to get to know each other better…Do you swallow?
I’d like that.
I’m due for a sismec event and your dnacing on the fault-line
I’m here to save your life. But if I’m gonna do that, I need total unininanonynymity.
I’m not here to twist your nibblets.
im pissing like i had sex last night irene i think i am gonna die
im telling on you charlie wrong answer and im names not charlie is hank fuck face
IRENE: Stay away from me, Hank! I know what you have planned, OK? I saw your so-called supplies.
Just because I rock doesn’t mean I’m made of stone
Just because I rock, doesn’t mean I’m made of stone
Just because I rock, doesn’t mean I’m made of stone!
Kisses, Daddy!
Oh my God, it’s a giant Q-tip!!!
OH! GOD!! It’s a giant Q-Tip!
ok, so what your saying is…your not charlie.
c’mon you have seen the guy in action, he is like oragami…folds under pressure. when the big games on the line hes busy riding the pine.
ok wait wait can you just…
(slides off the car) its simple, charlie is the mouse that got you into the maze, im the rat who knows how to find the cheese. names hank…hank evans, FOR LITTLE GIRLS.
so its true, charlie is a skitzo?
i wouldnt know i stay out of his business, he satys out of mine. look, just because i rock doesnt mean im made of stone. i feel your fear, its coming through like static on mu heart radio.
hank? hank, i really really appreciate your help, but is there any way we could get charlie out here for a little huddle?
no problem…while your at it why dont you climb that pole over there and take a big steamy piss on the power lines, look im not here to twist your niblets, im here to save your life, but if im gonna do that im gonna need total huninininomitity.
okay.
sound good candypants?
hank dont call me that.
On account of Hank’s behavior, Charlie took a beating. But save for a little blood and urine, he was no worse for the wear.
On the count of nine… 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9!
Only a fool would say that.
Oooh….that. I wasn’t going to ram it in. I was going to ease it in inch by inch…like a gentleman.
Over the years my ass has taken a pounding.
Ready ? On Nine ….1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8, 9 !
Ready ? On 9 . 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 !
Ready? On 9. (counting fast) 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9.
Score. Good move
Shes goin’ to eating blubber alright, soon as i free Willie.
so I smoked some pot, is that a crime
suck it suck it bitch!!!!!
Take your cock out of my chrysler
Thanks for watchin’ our motherfuckin’ movie!
The world ain’t slowing down.
Time to face the music Mozart . And-a one and-a two !
Vagiclean..I need a price check on Vagiclean.
Vagiclean? What wrong honey? A little too much cheese on the taco?
waaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Warden ! I want my own cell !!
Well look who joined the party !!!! DId you have fun ? Huh ? *ooohh yess I did yeah* so I guess old Hanky-Panky wasn’t enough for you huh ? 2) It wasn’t for me .
Well, fuck my o-zone!
Whatever you say my little pussy fart!
Whatever you say slim
Whatever you say slim
Where he can hide.
While your at it why don’t you climb up that power pole and take a big steaming piss on the wire
WHOA WHOA WHOA Whats the fuss tell me whats happenin
Whoa Whoa Whoa…. Easy there sugar tits
Why am I peeing like I just had sex all night?
Why am I peing like I’ve been up having sex all night?
WILL SOMEBODY GET THIS GODDAMN CHICKEN OUT OF MY ASS, PLEASE?!!!
Yeah , well bad things happen to people who kill their family with a hammer
You gonna pick up that butt?
Or do have to glue it to the end of my shoe, and stick in your big fat pimply AAAAY-Hole
You gotta have a motherfuckin aneurism to get a 1430 on the SAT.
You wanna start me up, Just open the choke and pull the chord.
Your idea of chipped beef is a motherfuckin’ toothy blow job, man
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Me, Myself and Irene’: Quotes from the movie ‘Me, Myself and Irene’
