#1: I can’t feel my legs #2: Bubba…they aint there
‘You want sympathy? Look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.’
(Boys doing push ups) Payne: One….don’t you look dumb, Two…..look at you, Three….don’t you ever make any stupid jokes behind my back about me
(MP) You know, you’re outta uniform Mr Fonzerelli…
(yelling) Did I give you permission to sneeze?
*imitates porky pig* what are you laughing at pig boy? you find a cookie in your pocket?
-I can’t feel my legs! -Bubba, you ain’t got no legs
…he looked up at me and said payne, i can’t feel my legs. i looked back and those little nubs was just a kickin and i said bubba that’s cuz they aint there.
1 Don’t you feel dumb. 2 Look at you. 3 Don’t you ever make jokes about me behind my back or I’ll stomp you in the ground.
1) I dont suppose you dance?
2) Well I have been known to cut a little rug in my day
1)Major? don’t you have something to say to these boys?2)maybe…I like ya..1)And…2)Maybe..I like you a lot…1)J-just like…that’s it??2)Don’t push the maybes…Baby.
1. What happened to ‘family’ and ‘unity’ and all that other bullshit you taught us? 2. I never said family don’t break up. Don’t you watch Oprah?
Did I give you permission to sneeze Opie? You suck it in you big earred turd or I’ll kick your ass back to Maybury! Major Payne to Red-headed kid.
Killin is my business..and biz-nis-is-gooooood!
ALEX: ooohh looks like we’ve got another Major on our hands here guys!
ALRIGHT MY LITTLE BRUSSELL SPROUTS, ITS TIME TO UPROOT YOURSELVES…Tommorow the hard stuff begins…ah heh heh heh
An Bubba come crawlen out the back and he says Pain, I cant feel my legs…, and i said Bubba They aint there!
Bleep Bleep Bleep.. wut u laughing bout, Pig boy? did u find sum tinkies in ur pocket?
… i bet if u poke u in ur belly u go pahoooo!
im sorry mr.handicap man i didn`t mean to offend u.. do u read lips? do u know sign language? let me break it down 4 u.. if u dont listen to me when i talk to u im gonna put mah foot in ur ass!! understand?.. der ya der!!
Boy, I am two seconds away from being all over you like white on rice, a glass of milk and a paper plate in a snowstorm!
But, they’s got to be somebody that needs some killin’.
can you read lips? You understand sign language? Next time when i’m talking to you, and you don’t answer me, I’ll stick my foot in your ass YOU UNDERSTAND ME SON! Dir yeh dir!
Don’t touch the whistle!
Fee Fi Fo Fum, what beanstalk you fall from?
Gentlemen, killin’ is my business, and business is good!
Going back to killen, wanna come?
Have you ever heard the story about the little engine that could?
Let me tell you about that story.Deep deep in the jungle there was this little engine that could. CHUGGA, CHUGGA,TOOT TOOT.He was carrying some ak47’s and a nuclear payload to the 6023 battalion.Just chugging along chugga,chugga,toot,toot.
Hello gorgeous, welcome to my party.
I AM NOT YOUR DAMN BROTHER
I CANT HERE YOU !!!
I guess no one’s responsible. I guess I just had that one a-comin. Well, you know what you’ve all got coming. Seven, 23 hour days full of fun and adventure. I’m gonna make you boys STRONG!
I see hear We have a failure to communicate
I see you’ve got a sense of humor. So do I. He He He.
I’ll put my foot so far up your ass the water on my knee will quench your thirst!
I’m sorry Major. There’s no one left. You’ve killed them all
I’ma clean yo colon out quicker than one of dem burritos wit extra guacamole sauce
If he’s in there, he ain’t happy!
If I poke your stomach, will it make you go ‘whoo-hoo’?
if you don’t shutup i’m gonna stick my foot up yo’ ass(does a little hand movement)
It had been a while since I killed me a man
its been two whole weeks since i killed me man, and already I’m starting to feel the inch. Only problem is, I aint got nottin to scratch
KILLING IS MY BUSINESS LADIES……AND BUSINESS IS GOOOOOOOOOD!
Let me show you a little trick that will take your mind of that pain!!
Major Payne: I’m sorry, Mr. Handicapped Man. I did not mean to offend you. Do you understand sign language? Can you read lips? Well if you don’t answer me when I speak to you, I’m gonna put my foot in your ass, is that clear dummy?
Major Payne:I AM NOT YOUR DAMN BROTHER
Major Payne:I Don’t Like my brother!
MP-There’s Gotta be Someone left to kill…
Col-Im Sorry Major, there’s no one left…You Killed ’em all.
MP: (does sign language) If you don’t listen when I’m talking to you, I’m gonna put my foot up your ass
MP: I’d like for you to think of me, not only as your commanding officer, but as, your friend.
MP: Oh, I’m sorry Mr. Handicap man. Do you speak sign language? Do you read lips? Ok, lemme break it down for you. If YOU don’t ANSWER me when i speak to you, I’m gonna put my foot, IN YOUR ASS IS THAT CLEAR DUMMY?!
Cadet: Dir yes dir!
MP: Used to be samson now i’m ann
Cadets echoing: Used to be samson now i’m ann
MP: gotta earn my right to be called a man
Cadets: gotta earn my right to be called a man
My name is Major Benson Winifred Payne. As of 0800 i am ur commanding officer. Do-not-a-tempt-to-chall-enge but authority. Know this killin is my buisness ladies and buz-ness-is-gooood!
My name is Major Benson Winniford Payne and as of 0800 I am replacing Major Frankford as your commanding officer. See what we have here is a failure to communicate. Do not attempt to challenge my authority. I have eight weeks, to turn you gaggling maggots into a well disciplined cadet unit. From this day forward your sorry asses belong to me. You will not eat, sleep, drink, blow your nose or even digging your butts without my says so. Know this, Killin is my business ladies and BUSINESS IS GOOD!
Oh, child-dreeen! Somebody gonna answer for this blood on my lip, I want names!
ONE chubby tubby…TWO chubby tubby….THREE chubby tubby
One tubby tubby two tubby tubby…
Payne – LOVE MY BARICKS NIGHT AND DAY
kids – LOVE MY BARICKS NIGHT AND DAY
Payne – WONT COMPLAIN THATS WHERE ILL STAY
kids – WONT COMPLAIN THATS WHERE ILL STAY
nice job this time dotson!
Payne – ALRITE MY LIL PATCH OF BRUSSEL SPUOUT UPROOT URSELVES AND GET SOME REST TOMORROW WE GONNA START THE HARD STUFF
Heathcoat- HARD STUFF?
Payne: Got no worries, got no cares!(echoed by the ROTC boys) I’m just a bald headed son of a bitch without hair.(echoed)
PAYNE: What’s the matter, boy? Are you deaf or just plain stupid?
RED-HEADED KID: Actually, sir, he is deaf.
PAYNE: Oh,I’m sorry. NOW DROP DOWN AND GIVE ME 25 MORE FOR SPEAKIN OUTTA LINE!
Payne: it’s been to whole weeks since i kilt’ me a man and i’m alreade’ startin’ to get the itch, problem is…i ain’ got nothin’ to scratch. god i’m hungre’, hungre for action, hungre for blood, hell, i’m just plain ol’ hungre….feel i’m gettin’ weaker, while charle is gettin’ stronger in the jungle…i can’t loose my edge, i gotta keep my strength up, i gotta maintain disaplin, becuase the reality was…i gotta get a job…
Payne: No, what he needs is for you to Pop yo’ titty out his mouth and let the boy grow up. Ms. Walburn: Excuse me Major? Payne: I’m sorry, I said… Pop your Tit-tee OUT his mouth and let the boy grow up!
shut up bacon boy! make room for dinner!! drop down and give me twenty-five sit ups!! i want to see that belly roll!!
Slippery he say.You think Charlie cares about slippery?He will slip your throat.
Stone: What are you guys runnin for? It’s only a dummy! Payne:(throws the grenade into the forest, waits for it to blow up 8 seconds later) Who’s the dummy now?
That’s a mighty fine handshake ya got there. Ya wanna wrestle
The green boys. You know its funny, when they stand in front of the bushes, I can’t see them!
THEY OUTTA CALL ME PIMP DADDY PAYNE!
Want me to teach you a little trick take your mind off the pain? Close your eyes…
want me to tell you the story of the little engine that could, again?
We are going to win the Military games, That’s WIN……..Whiskey, India, November.
what are you looking at ass eyes?…you plottin on me boy?
What do you think I was gonna do, marry you? Adopt Tiger, put up a white picket fence and become a male role model? That’s not me! That’s not Payne!
What do you want, Mister Pee-body?
What the hell would anyone want with a blind dog?
What you lookin’ at ass-eyes?
What’s the matter pig boy u find a piece of candy in your pocket?
what’s your name girly mouth?
y name is major benson winiford payne. As of o a hutrat, i am replacin major frankfurt as you commandin officer. (boos) gunshots. see what we have here, is a failure to communicate
you like the way i handle these white boys D? Yeah! Make you feel good to see a black man running things? Malcom X! Ya know D? Come a little closer…I AM NOT YOUR DAMN BROTHA! DROP AND GIVE ME 20 SQUAT THRUSTS NOW!
you still a shit sandwich you just ain’t a soggy one
You think your tears will stop charlie from stickin’ his bayonnet in your tiny little heart?
You want sympathy? Look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis!
You will not eat, sleep, pick ur nose, or even dig in ur butt without my say so. AHHCHHHHHHHOOOO what the hell was that u lil freckled face cartoon. AHHHCHHHHHOOO. i see we have a sickly boy on on hands well were gonna help bost ur imune system so drop down give me push ups.
Your still a shit sandwich, you just aint a soggy one’
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Major Payne’: Quotes from the movie ‘Major Payne’
