I call this piece ‘Father, Mirror’ and I feel it says so much about who I am and what it feels like to inhabit my specific skin.
#1: Hello, my name is Allan and I will be your waiter.
Enid: Hi Al.
Becky: Can we call you Wierd Al?
#1: [Pauses} I’d imagine so.
(rap music playing) Who can forget this great hit from the 50’s?
*pants flattened out on teh ground*
-our band is called alien autopsy
1) Face it, you hate every single guy on the face of the earth. 2)That’s not true. I just hate all these extraverted, obnoxious, pseudo bohemian losers.
1) Hi my name is Allen and I’ll be your waiter 2) Hi Al! Can we call you weird Al? 1) I suppose you would
1) We should totally get together this summer! (starts flipping wrists)
2) Yeah, I can definitely see that happening.
1)Fuck you 2) you wish,you’ll have to buy me dinner first
1- Yeah, let me have lots of butter on that.
2- (pumping butter onto popcorn- its making a squirting noise)Ewwwww!
Here you go… smothered in delicious yellow chemical sludge.
1.How much for this dress?
2.God, I can’t believe you’re selling that.
1.You’re crazy. It should be like $2.
3.I was wearing that dress when I lost my virginity.
1.Why do I care?
3.Well, why do you want it? I mean, it would look stupid on you anyway.
1.God! Fuck you!
2]You wish, you gotta buy me dinner first!
1]hi whats your name?
1]are you waiting for a bus?
i hate to tell you this, but they canceled this bus line 2 years ago, there are no more busses on this street
2]you dont know what your talking about…
Alcoholic Customer: Do you serve beer or any alcohol?
Enid: I wish! Actually you wish… after about five minutes of this movie, you’re gonna wish you had ten beers.
All they need is a Big Mac and a pair of Nikes to be happy.
Angry Garage Sale Woman: How much for this dress?
Rebecca: God, I can’t believe you’re selling that.
Enid: That’s $500.
Angry Garage Sale Woman: What?
Angry Garage Sale Woman: You’re crazy. It should be like $2.
Enid: I was wearing that dress when I lost my virginity.
Angry Garage Sale Woman: Why do I care?
Enid: Well, why do you want it? I mean, it would look stupid on you anyway.
Angry Garage Sale Woman: God. Fuck you.
Check out those people behind you. I’m totally convinced they’re satanists!
corporate slut. sophisticated
Customer:) Do you serve beer or any alcohol? Enid:) I wish! Actually you wish… after about five minutes of this movie, you’re gonna wish you had ten beers.
Dear Josh, we came by to fuck you but you were not home. Therefor you are gay, signed Tiffany and Amber.
Did you even look through the rest of this? You’re like my hero.
Enid: Aww, look how cute I was.
Rebecca: Yeah, what a little hosebag.
Enid: God, what a bunch of retards…
Rebecca: I thought Chipmunk-face was never going to shut up.
Enid: I know, I liked her better when she was an alcoholic crack addict! She gets in one car wreck and all of a sudden she’s Little Miss Perfect and everybody loves her.
Rebecca: It’s totally sickening.
Enid: I think I’m going crazy from sexual frustration.
Rebecca: And you haven’t heard the miracle of masturbation?
Enid: I think only stupid people have good relationships.
Seymour: That’s the spirit.
Enid: It’s not like I’m some modern punk, dickhead. It’s an obvious, 1977 original punk rock look. I guess Johnny fuckface over there’s too stupid to realize it!
Rebecca: I didn’t really get it either.
Enid: Everyone’s too stupid!
Enid: It’s not like I’m some modern punk, dickhead. It’s an obvious, 1977 original punk rock look. I guess Johnny fuckface over there’s too stupid to realize it.
Rebecca: I didn’t really get it either.
Enid: Everyone’s too stupid.
Enid:) We need to find a place where you can go to meet women who share your interests. Seymour:) Maybe I don’t want to meet someone who shares my interests. I hate my interests.
everybody is too stupid
fuck you, stupid redneck hick
God, look at her, she’s a fucking monster!
He better watch out or he’ll get AIDS when he date rapes her.
he had cute little bags and everything, i almost cried
He just ordered a giant glass of milk!
hey-could i get a medium 7-up?
a medium? why sir, don’t you know for a mere 25 cents more you
can purchase a large beverage? and ya know…(glares at manager)
i’m only telling you this because we are SUCH good friends and mediums are only for suckers who don’t know the concept of value!
Hi Al. Can we call you weird Al? I’d imagine so.
I can’t relate to 98% of humanity.
I can’t relate to 99% of people.
i just hate all these extroverted, obnoxious, pseudo-bohemian losers.
I just love this place. It’s so funky!
I liked her so much better when she was a crack addict and alcoholic. She gets into one car accident and suddenly she’s Little Miss Perfect.
i think im going crazy from sexual frustration
i would kill to have a room like this. please go ahead and kill me.
I’d show you the 2 second kill but I don’t have the time.
I’m so hungry I could chew the crotch out of a rag doll
I’m Sorry If It Offended Jew
It’s a high school remedial art class for fuck-ups and retards.
Its so bad its good.
Its so bad its gone past good and back to bad again.
Joey Macobb is our God. I want to do him.
Look I just need somebody to be nice to me for like five minutes and then I swear I’ll leave you alone.
medium? why sir, do you not know that for a mere $.25 you can purchase a large beverage? and i am only telling you this because we are such good friends. medium is only for suckers who don’t know the concept of value.
here you go,(popcorn w/imitation butter) smothered in delicious yellow chemical sludge
do you sell beer here? i wish… actually you wish. believe me, after this movie you are going to need ten beers.
i hope she gets AIDS when he date rapes her
Medium? Why sir, did you now know that for a mere twenty-five cents more you can purchase a large beverage? And you know… I’m only telling you this because we’re such good friends: Medium is really only for suckers who don’t know the concept of value.
Melorra: Oh my god, you guys actually made it.
Enid: Yeah. We graduated high school. How… totally… amazing.
norman, hes the one thing i can depend on. But its rather sad, him sitting there everyday for that bus. Why? Because that busline got canceled two years ago.
Owner: FUCK YOU! Customer: You gotta buy me dinner first!
Please, go ahead and kill me.
Rebecca: So, what do you do if you’re a Satanist?
Enid: Sacrifice virgins and stuff.
Rebecca: I guess that lets us off the hook.
Rebecca: What do U do if ur a satanist anyway?
Enid: Sacrifice virgins and stuff..
Rebecca: well that lets us off the hook!
Rebecca: You actually like that guy?
Enid: I don’t know, I kind of like him. He’s the exact opposite of everything I really hate. In a way, he’s such a clueless dork, he’s almost kind of cool.
Rebecca: That guy is many things, but he’s definitely not cool.
Rebecca:) So, what do you do if you’re a Satanist? Enid:) Sacrifice virgins and stuff. Rebecca:) I guess that lets us off the hook.
Rock-n-Roll Baby, Freedom of Speech
She gets in a car accident and suddenly she’s Little Miss Perfect.
She thinks you’re a dork.
Some people are okay, but mostly I feel like poisoning them all.
sometimes i think i am going crazy from sexual frustration
and you haven’t heard of the miracle of masturbation?
Sometimes I think I’ll die of sexual tension.
Store guy: fuck you! Mullet dude: you wish, but you’d have to buy me dinner first!
Sup Josh? Gimme two packs of cigaretts today. Working overtime. Sixteen hours. … And uh, nature’s nectar, wake-up juice. And gimme like, 6 of these beef jerkys… hungry enough to chew the crotch out of a rag doll.
Hey. Hey, you. How many times I tell you, no shirt, no service. Get the hell out of my store. What do you think this is, Club Med?
It’s America dude, learn the rules.
No, no. You learn the rules. We Greeks invented democracy.
You also invented homos.
You wish. You gotta buy me dinner first.
This falls into the higher category of art that I talked about earlier
this is obviously 1970’s original punk. apparantly johnny fuckface here is to stupid to realize this.
we came by to fuck you but u were not home so therefore u r gay
We graduated high school. How totally amazing.
Well, I have to admit that things are really starting to look up for me since my life turned to shit.
What are we in slow motion here. What are you, hypnotized? Go have soe more kids why don’t you.
What are we in slow motion here. What are you, hypnotized? Go have some more kids why don’t you.
what i tell you. no shirt no service
this is america dude…learn the rules
What, are we in slow motion here?!? C’mon, what are ya, hypnotized? Have some more kids, why dontcha?
You think it’s healthy to obsessively collect things? You can’t relate to other people, so you fill your life with stuff…I’m just like all these other collector losers.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Ghost World’: Quotes from the movie ‘Ghost World’