Movie Quotes from Blazing Saddles: Quotes from the movie Blazing Saddles
#1 They said you were hung! #2 They were right.
#1-Just give me twenty-four hours to come up with a brilliant idea to save our town. Just twenty-four hours. That’s all I ask.
Townsfolk: No! #1-You’d do it for Randolph Scott.
#1-Just give me twenty-four hours to come up with a brilliant idea to save our town. Just twenty-four hours. That’s all I ask. Townsfolk: No! #1-You’d do it for Randolph Scott.
#1-What’s a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this? #2-If you really must pry… #1-Oh, I must, I must. #2-Well, back in ’56, my folks and I were part of this long wagon train movin’ West. Well, not exactly part of it. You might say we was bringin’ up the rear when suddenly, from out of the West came the entire Sioux nation. And let me tell you baby, they was open for business.
(1) My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought, cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
(2) Gal-darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a 20-dollar whore.
(1) Are we awake? (2) We’re not sure. Are we black? (1) Yes we are. (2) Then we’re awake, but we’re very puzzled.
(1) Be ready to attack Rock Ridge at noon tomorrow. Here’s your badge. (2) Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges!
(1) Go for your gun. (2) Wait, wait, wait. I’m unarmed. (1) Alright, we’ll settle this like men, with our fists. (2) Sorry, I just remembered…I am armed.
(1) I know how we can run everyone out of Rock Ridge. (2) How? (1) We’ll kill the first born male child in every household. (2)Too Jewish.
(1) We’ll work up a ‘Number 6′ on ’em.
(2) ‘Number 6′? I’m afraid I’m not familiar with that one…
(1) Well, that’s where we go a-ridin’ into town, a whampin’ and whompin’ every livin’ thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.
(2) You spare the women?
(1) NAW. We rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on.
(1) What’s your name? (2) Well, my name is Jim. But most people call me…Jim.
(1) Where you headed, cowboy? (2) Nowhere special. (1)Nowhere special. I always wanted to go there.
(1) Who is this Mongo anyway? (2) Well, Mongo ain’t exactly a who, he’s more of a what.
(2)Thats not much of a crime.
(1)Through the Vatican?
(1)Hell I was born here. And I was raised here. And dad-gummit I’m gonna die here. And no side-windin’ bushwackin’ horn-swagglin’ crugger-croager is gonna roaul me brishnin cutter!
(2)Now who can argue with that?
(1)How ’bout some more beans Mr. Taggert?
(2)I’d say you’ve had enough!
(1)The sheriff is a nig…! (2) What? (1) The sheriff is a nig…!
(1)Under the provisions of this bill we would snatch 200,00 acres of Indian territory, which we have deemed unsafe for their use at this time. They’re such children.
(2)200,000 acres? 200,000 acres? What will it cost, man? What will it cost?
(1)A box of these (box of paddle balls).
(2)Are you crazy? They’ll never go for it, and then again they might. Little red devils! They love toys!
(1)What are your pleasures? What you like to do?
(2)Oh, I don’t know. Play chess, screw.
(1)Well let’s play chess.
(1)Will I see you later?
(2)Well it all depends on how much vitamin E I can get my hands on.
(1)Would you care for another schnitzengruben?
(2)No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.
(1)You want us to pull an ol’ number 6 on ’em?
(2)A number 6? I’m afraid I’m not familiar with that procedure.
(1)That’s when we come into town, a whompin’ and a whoopin’. Beatin’ the livin’ shit out of everything that moves. Except the women folk, of course.
(2)You mean you spare the women?
(1)NAWWWW! We rape the shit out of them at the ol’ number 6 dance later that night!
(A homosexual dancer guy smacks a big cowboy and says) You brute, you brute, you vicious brute! (he then puts his face to the cowboys shoulders and begins to cry heavily, the cowboy confused and pats the homo on the back)
(bart)whats your name? (waco kid)well, my name is jim but most people call me………………………jim
(Govenor)Help me with this thing (Headly) Sir! Think of your secretary.
(Jim) Hey boys, looky what i got here… (bart) where da white women at?
(Lilly)He’s such a nice guy…
(taggert) oo oo oo (lamarr) down the hall and to your left (T) no i got it! We’ll kill the first born child in every household. (H,) too Jewish. … (T) I GOT IT! I GOT IT! We’ll work up a number six on ’em (H) number 6 number 6, im afraid im not familiar with a number 6. (T) Well thats when we go a ridin into town, a whompin and a woompin and kill every last thing within an inch of its life… except the women folk o’ course. (H) you spare the women? (T) NAW we rape the shit outta them at the 6 dance later that night. (H) Taggert thats marvelous (T) OOOOOCH (H) why taggert, you’ve been hurt (T) aww that uppidy nigger went and hit me in the head with a shovel. Sir I’d appreciate it if you could find it in your heart to hang him up his neck until he was dead. (H) consider it done
(The gay men dance song) Throw our your hands, stick out your tush, hands on your hips, give them a push! That’s the way to do the French cantina!
(with a mexican accent)Badges!…We don’t need no stinking badges!
Never give a saga an even break!
–These people are dummies!
–I know that. How do you think i got elected?
-they said you was hung?!?
-they was right!
…to our new nigger RUVVERD!!
1 (Hold a gun to himself) Don’t move or the nigger gets it!
2: Do you think we should do something to help that poor man!
No, that’s annoy him more
1) A man drink like that and he don’t eat, he is going to die.
1) Are we awake? 2)I’m not sure. Are we black? 1) Yes, we are. 2)Then we’re awake.
1) I thought you was hung? 2) I is.
1) the sherrif is a ni(DING!) 2) WHAT DID HE SAY? 3) the sherrif is near 1) no, the sherrifs a ni(ding!)
1)The sherriff’s a n…BONG! 2)What’d he say? 3)I think he said that the sherriff is near! 1)No, I said the sherriff’s a n…BONG!
1. Just give me 24 hrs. to come up with a plan. (the town) NO!!! NO!!! 2. You’d do it for Randolph Scott! (the town) RANDOLPH SCOTT?!!
1. Are we awake?
2. We’re not sure. Are we black?
1. Yes, we are.
2. Then we’re awake, but very puzzled.
1. Dare I say it?
2. Dare, dare.
1. Hello, cowboy. Wha’s your name?
2. Tex, Ma’am!
1. Texmam? Well, tell me Texmam, are you in show business?
2. Well, no, ma’am.
1: Then why don’t you get your fwiggin’ feet off o’ the stage!
2. Rape, murder, arson, and rape.
1. You said rape twice.
2. I like rape.
1. Well Jim, as you are my guest, and I am your host, what’s your pleasure? What would you like to do? 2. Oh I don’t know… play chess… screw… 1. Let’s play chess!
1. Would you like another schnitzengruben?
2. No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben!
1. Well how about a little…
[whispers in his ear]
2. [shocked] Baby! I’m not from Havana!
1. You be my guest, and I be your host. What be your pleasure, *name*?
2. I don’t know… play chess… screw…
1. [quickly] Let’s play chess!
2. Mornin’, ma’am! And isn’t it a lovely mornin’?
1. Up yours nigger!
200,000 , 200,000 what’ll it cost man
i didnt hear a harumph out of that guy
give the amyor a harumph!!
youd better watch your ass!
A cabinet post!!
A wed wose, how womantic!
A wed wose… how womantic.
Affairs of state must take precedence over…affairs of state.
Ahh..come on boys…i don’t hear no singin. Why, when you was slaves, you sang like birds….come on… how about a good ol’ nigger work song?
Alright, we’ll give some land to the niggers and the chinks, but we don’t want the Irish.
Oh Praire shit. Everybody.
Alright, we’ll take the niggers and the chinks… but not the Irish!
am I wrong …or is the world…rising I don’t know but whatever it is I hate it
Anyone got any dimes? (other voice saying No I don’t have any dimes etc.) Well Someones gatta go back and get a shit load a dimes!
Are we just pissing in the wind?
Are you crazy it appears that that man is a niiiigg
Around the campfire: Oh! Do beans cause that?
aw! Mongo straight!
B: Are we awake? J: That depends. Are we….black? B: Yes we are. J: Then we’re awake. But we’re very puzzled…
B: Since you are my gust, and I am your host, what shall we do? What are your hobbies? J: Oh, I don’t know. Play chess…..screw…. B: Well lets play chess…
Baby you are so talented…….and they are so dumb
badges, we don’t need no stinking badges
Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges!
Badges? We dont need no stinking badges!!
Badges?We don’t need no stinking badges.
Bart) What’s your name? Jim) Well, my name is Jim, but most people call me… Jim.
Bart, don’t do it Bart.
Uh-uh baby, I have to.
Bart: Play chess? Screw?
The Kid: Let’s play chess
be seated now I don’t have to tell you good folks what has happened in our little town …. sherrif murdered crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cows raped.
behind the bar stood abel johnson, he always kept things nice and clean
Break’s over, boys. Don’t just lay there gettin’ a suntan, ain’t gonna do you no good anyhow. Now take this shovel and put it to some good use.
Bullshit, what’s the job?
Can we overcome this enourmous task in one night…..or are we just jerking off
Candy Gram for Mongo! CANDY GRAM FOR MONGO! CANDY GRAM for Mongo!
Me Mongo! Sign please! Thank you!
Looney Tunes Theme music played
MONGO LIKE CANDY!
Looney tunes music continues!
Candygram for mongo
Church Congregation singing) Now is a time of great decision / Are we to stay or up and quit? / There’s no avoiding this conclusion: / Our town is turning into shit. Amen.
Daddy love Froggie. Froggie love daddy?
dang that was lucky doggone nearly lost a 400 dollar hand cart
Dang, that was lucky. Dog-gone near lost a four hundred dollar hand cart.
DINER: How many days you got left Larry?
MAN IN HITLER COSTUME: Oh they lose me right after the bunker scene.
Director: What are you doing? This is a closed set. Villain: Piss on you…I work for Mel Brooks.
Dock that chink a day’s pay for nappin’ on the job!
dock that chink a day’s pay for napping on the job
Does anyone have a dime??Somebody’s gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes.
dom delouise- WRONG!!! this is so simple, now watch me faggots!
Don’t do that. You shoot him, you’ll just make him mad!
excuse me while I whip this out
Excuse me while I whip this out!
Excuse me while I whip this out.
First man makes a move and the nigger gets it
forget that shit here comes mongo
GABBY: The sheriff is a ni..!
What did he say?
He said the sheriff is near.
GABBY: No god damn nab rabbit! I said the sheriff is a NI…!!
Gentlemen, please. Rest your sphincters.
Get me off this picture.
Get your pies!…for the great pie fight!
God dammit, Mr. Lamarr sir, you use your tongue purdier than a twenny dollar whore!
Goddammit, Mr. Lamarr, sir, you use your tongue purdier than a twenny dollar whore!
Govener: 200,000 acres, 200,000 acres..Good god man..what’ll it cost, what’ll it cost?
Lamar: A box of these.
Gov.: They’ll never go for it…then again maybe they will…red devils..love toys.
Have You ever seen such cruelty?
Hedley) My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening thru a cosmic vapor of invention! Taggart) Ditto! Hedley)DITTO? DITTO! You provincial putz!!
Hedley:qualifications? Bart:stampeding cattle Hedley:That’s not much of a crime Bart:through the vatican Hedley:Kinky
here take that shovel and put it to some good use
Hey Boys, look what I got here.
Hey where are the white women at?
Hey boys, look what we got here!
Hey! Where all da white women at?
hold it hold it what the hell is that shit…..I meant a real song something like swing low
Horses!! You idiot we can’t afford to lose no horses. Send over a couple a niggers
Horses!? We can’t afford to lose no horses…send a couple of niggers!!!
Horses? We can’t afford to lose no horses. Send over a couple o’ niggers.
how about some more beans mr. taggert
How did he do such fantastic stunts with such little feet?
How did he do such great stunts, with such little feet?
I am now going to read from the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and…. duck!
I didn’t get a harumph outta that guy. Give the governor a harumph. harumph. you better watch your ass
I didn’t know your granma was dutch.
I hired you people to try to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots.
I KNOW EACH OF YOU
I must see you in my dwressing woom wight after the show
I must’ve killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille.
I sure do hate to see you like this, Mr Taggart. How would it be if me and the boys, were to shoot that nigger dead?
I want rustlers, cutthroats, murders, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglars, horse thieves, bull-dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, sh**-kickers, and Methodists!
I wash born here, an I wash raished here, and dad gum it, I am gonna die here, an no sidewindin bushwackin, hornswaglin, cracker croaker is gonna rouin me bishen cutter.
I wash born here, an I wash raished here, and dad gum it, I am gonna die here, an no sidewindin’ bushwackin’, hornswaglin’, cracker croaker is gonna rouin me bishen cutter.
I’d like to extend a laurel and hardy welcome to our new….nigger!?
I’ll shoot yo nigger dead
I’m parked over by the commissary…
I’m rapdily becoming a big underground success in this town!
I’ve decided to launch an attack that will reduce Rock Ridge to ashes…I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the West. Take this down: I want rustlers, cut-throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nit-wits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bush-whackers, horn-swagglers, horse-thieves, bull-dykes, train-robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists!!!
IF I NEED YOU AGAIN
Is it true how your kind is equiped….OHHHHH ISSS TRUUUUE IS TRUE!!!
It’s twue! It’s twue!
J: Oh, don’t shoot Mongo. You’ll just make him mad. B: *Stares*
Jim:My name is Jim,but most people call me…(swallows)Jim.
Lamar: How did he do such fantastic work, with so little feet?
Lamar: How did he do such fantastic work, with such little feet?
let’s hear a good ol nigger song
little bastard shot me in the ass!
Look at all of you actin like its 120 dergrees when it cant be nomore than 113!
MAN 1) SIGN HERE
>>JIM STICKS OUT HANDS SHOWING HE’S BLACK
MAN 1) What’s that in your mouth?
MAN 2) Nothin’
MAN 1) Nothin’ ‘eh? Lyle!
LYLE) >TAKES GUM OUT OF MANS MOUTH< Gum!
MAN 1) Chewing gum on line? Well I hope you brought enough for everybody!
MAN 2) I didn’t know there was gonna be so many people!
MAN 1 SHOOTS HIM IN THE FOOT
Mango just pawn in game of life!
Mister Lamar, you use your toungue pertier’n a $20 whore
Mongo just pawn in game of life.
Mongo like candy
Mongo like candy.
Mongo only pawn in game of life
Mongo. . . Santa Maria!
Mungo not know where choo-choo go…..Mungo just pawn in game of life!
My mind is a raging torrent flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a water fall of creative alternitives
My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought, cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives
My name is Jim, but people call me…. Jim.
My name’s Jim. Most people call me Jim.
Nah, too Jewish.
NO, God-blama-dang-blammit! The sherrif is a ni..(Bell Rings)
No, no, don’t do that, don’t do that. If you shoot him, you’ll just make him mad.
Not in the face!..Thank you.
Now go do that vodoo that you do so well!
now GO DO…THAT VOODOO…THAT YOU DO SO WELL!!!
now we go to all the time and trouble to kill every last indian in these parts, and they elect a sherrif thats blacker than any indian. i am depressed.
Of course, you’ll have the common decency not to mention i spoke to you.
official business sir..is it important?..very important
Oh Lordy-lord, he’s desperate. Do what he say. Do what he say
Oh no…don’t shoot him…that’ll only make him mad.
Oh, blow it out your ass, Howard.
Oh, well, it got so that every pissin’ prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. De Mille.
ok, no more Mr. Goodbar!
Put it in, take it out. Put it in, take it out. I am the monarch of the sea. The ruler of the queen’s navy. Whose praise Great Britain loudly chants. And we are his sisters and his cousins and his aunts. Good, good. You’ve got the rhythm. Now let’s try it with a swiss cheese, and take it from the top.
Read it, read it you wild bitch!
Reverend): Order, order. Goddamnit I said ORDER! Howard): Y’know Nietzsche says: *Out of chaos comes order*. Olson): Oh, blow it out your ass Howard.
ro;ekgj;lerkjt[owij;trlkgjwe;lkrfpodsijhgr how bout summore beans mr taggert
send wire to the main office tell them I said ow
shhhhh that’s allright taggert…just a man and his horse being hung out there
shoo that was lucky, we darn near lost a four hundred dollar hand cart
Sir. Sir. He specifically requested two niggers. Well, to tell a family secret, my grandmother was Dutch.
Sir…..he specificly requested two ni-ggers…….well…to tell a family secret….my grandmother was dutch.
sir…sir…I believe he specifically requested two niggers
Some get a kick from cocaaaaaiiiiinnnne!
Somebody’s got to go back and get a shitload of dimes
somebody’s gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes
Son, your on your own.
Telegraph the main office, tell them I said OW!
That upity nigger just hit me upside the head with a shovel!
That was close. Darn near lost a $400 hand cart.
The affairs of state, must take precedence, over the affairs, of state.
The fact that you hired him, just goes to prove that you are the leading asshole in this state.
The sheriff’s a nigger! What’d he say? He said the sheriff’s near!
I said the sheriff’s a nigger!
The way you was lollygagging with them picks and shovels, you would think it was a hundred and twenty degrees out here. Can’t be more ‘n a hundred and fourteen.
the words of mattew mark luke and …duck
Then one day I hear ‘Reach for it mister!’ I spun around, and there I was standing face to face with a six year old kid. Well, I just laid down my guns and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass
There aint no way, no how that no body’s laving this town! Hell I was born here, I was raised here & dammit Im gonna die here! And aint no sidewinding, bushwhacking, cracker croker is gonna ruin my biscuit!
there’s only one thing that stands between me and that land…the rightful owners
These things are defective.
They said you was hung!
And they was right!!!
They Said you was Hung! (bart) And they were right!
They said you was hung. And they was right.
they said you was hung?!?
mmm… they was right!
They’ve hit Buddy! Come on girls!
This friggin thing is warped! Why do I always get a warped one!?
Um, sir? I believe he specifically requested two nig-gers? Well to tell a family secret, my grandmother was Dutch.
Unfortunately, there is one thing that stands between me and that property .. the rightful owners.
Up yours, Nigger.
Watch me faggots!
we can’t a ford to no horses! hell send a coupla niggers
we don’t need no stinking…
we spare the women? no we rape the….out of them
we’ll kill the first born male child in ever household…no that’s a little too Jewish
welcome to hanging house…not to worry everyone is equal in my eye
Well raise my rent…
Well, piss on you; I work for Mel Brooks !!!
What did you expect? Welcome Sonny? Make yourself at home? Marry My Daughter? You gotta remember that these are simple farmers. These are people of the land, the common clay of the new West. You know…..Morons.
What do you think you’re doing? This is a CLOSED set!
What in the wide wide world of sports is a goin on here…I sent you boys down here to lay some track and you’re all dancin’ around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots
What in the wide wide world of sports is a going on here?
What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is going on here!
What in the wide-wide world o’ sporst is a goin’ over here!!!
What in the wild, wild world of sports is going on around here? I hired you boys to lay a little track…not to dance around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots!!!
What the hell were you thinking? Can’t you see that that man is a ni..? Sorry, wrong guy.
What’s a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?
When you were slaves, you sang like birds…..C’mon how about a good old nigger work song?!
Woman singing) Here I stand, the goddess of desire / Set men on fire / I have this power. / Morning, noon, and night, it’s dwink and dancing / Some quick womancing / And then a shower. / Stage door Johnnies constantly suwwound me / They always hound me, with one wequest. / Who can satisfy their lustful habits? / I’m not a wabbit! / I need some west.
work work work….hello boys have a good nice rest I missed you
Work, work, work, work, work, work. Hello boys, have a good nights rest. I’ll miss you.
work, work, work….hello girls
Yeah, but I shoot with this hand.
yes the doctor gillespie killings…do your best
You know, Nietzsche said, out of chaos comes order…oh blow it out your ass, Howard.
you spare the women?….no we rape the shit out of em
You will be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost-certain Academy Award nomination for the Best Supporting Actor.
You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.
You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Blazing Saddles’: Quotes from the movie ‘Blazing Saddles’