Back to school back to school to prove to daddy i am not a fool i got my shoes tied tight i hope i dont get in a fight back to school back to school [ the bus rides by }
Your only cool if you pee in your pants
(1) …we’ve got some important inforamtion for you (2)aaaaawww erwic’s pregnant! (pat, pat) he’s kicking…. he’s gonna be a soccer player…he is…he iiiiiiiis!
(1) Nice talking to you Billy (2) Tellahoohoo, Shabbadoo, Kayloooo!!!!
(1)Did you see that guy’s balls (2) Yeah, they were gross
(1)that veronica vaughn ish one shweet piece of asssh! (2) yeah(1)me and her GOT IT OOON!!! (ghna, ghna) (2) no you didn’t (1) no, but you can imagine what it would be like though (2) (pat on the back) (1) NO SHOUTING ON THE BUS!!
(Billy waiting and singing)
Oh back to school,back to school,to prove to dadda that I’m not a fool,oh I got my lunch pack packed,my shoes tied tight,I hope I don’t get in a fight!!,Oh back to school,back to school…
(billy) there was something i had to do today but i can’t remember what it is. (friend) what drink 10 margaritas? already did that! (billy) oh i know! it’s nudie magazine day!
(billy): you had an accident? what does that mean, GOOOO!!!
(Billy)I’ll trade you this bannana for your snack-pack.(kid)Shakes his head no.(Billy) You know how badly I can beat you.(Kid) shakes his head yes
(Both Drunk) 1. Hey look, I think Billy and his girlfriend are playing water polo! 2. Maybe they’re playing Marco Polo… MARCO! 1. POLO! What a great game!
(Carl)Nice talking to you Billy.(Billy)talahoohoo, Sabanoo…….GAYLOO!!!!!
(doorbell rings) 1: It’s one of those flaming bags again 2: dont put it out with your boots ted 1: Dont tell me my businees devil woman 1: call the fire dept. this ones outta control (stomps bag)…its poop 3: He called the shit poop
(eric)Where the hell is he? I’m starvn! (carl) A ate some triscuit crackers in the car…you should’ve had some (eric) well maybe if yo uhad told me there were delicios triscuit crackers i could’ve enjoyed them with you. (carl)I’m sorry (eric)well sorry doens’t put the triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, carl?
(Farley)That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace. I know from experience dude. (Billy) No you don’t. (Farley) Well this guy I knew, him and her got it on, WHOOO-EEEE! (Billy) No they didn’t. (Farley) No, no they didn’t. But you could imagine what it’d be like if they did, eh? eh?
(Person1)You wanna go feed that donkey some beer, get it all messed up? (Person2) Maybe later
(Scotty) Mortal Kombat for Sega Genesis is the greatest video game ever. (Billy) I disagree, although it is a very good game, I think Donkey Kong is the greatest video game ever. (Scotty) Donkey Kung sucks! (Billy) You know what? You suck!
(singing) O Back to school, back to school, to proove to Dad that I’m not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don’t get in a fight! O back to school, back to school, back…to…school.
(Bus full of screaming kids speeds by)
(singing) Suntan lotion is good for me, you protect me tee hee hee…
(Singing) Suntan lotion is good for me. You protect me.. Tee Hee Hee
(sung)
Billy: yes, i will go back to school
and acheive victory
no man will take what my father has built
unless that man is meee
veronica: my billy, sweet billy boy
i knew you owuld go back
no one can stop you if you try
don’t i have a nice rack *nods*
billy: veronica, i thank you
for beating the shit out of me
i see things so clearly now
i choose my destiny!!!
veronica: *oh billy, i knew ya had it in ya!!!*
(SUNG) hey kids it me, I bet you thought that I was dead, but when I fell I broke my leg and got a haemorige in my head!
(Talking to self) Shampoo is better! I go one first and clean the hair! (Responds to self in different voice) Conditioner is better! I help make the hair silky and smooth (Reverts to first voice) Oh really, fool? (Goes to second voice) Really! (Hits bottles together and then drops them in the bath. Looks at swan replica sitting on the counter of the tub) Stop looking at me, swan!
(whisper) Ask her…ask her…if she likes anybody from claaaaasss
**Singing** Back to school, back to school, to prove to dad that i’m not a fool! I’ve got my lunch packed up, and my boots tied tight, i hope i don’t get in a fight. OOOO Back to school…..
–if you stay home from school you can help me shave my aaaarmpits–GROSS!!…I’ll go to school!
….and if anyone is caught cheating, especially with my wife, who is a dirty, dirty tramp….
1 So, who would you rather bone…Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson? 2 Jack Nicholson now…or 1974? 1 Doesn’t Matter…’74… 2 Meg Ryan…
1) Don’t put it out with your boots, Ted! 2) Don’t tell me my business, devil woman! Call the fire department, this ones outta control!
1) Hey, why do I have to go back all the way to kindergarten?! I did well in the grade! 2) Spell the word ‘rock’. Your answer: r-o-k.
1) There’s something I was supposed to do today.
2) Drink five dacqueries?
3)No he remembered to do that haha
1)why did I drink so much? Now I can’t remember. Gasp! Nudy Magazine Day!!!
1) You remember that spelling be you won in the third grade?
2) Yeah what about it?
1)Rock R-O-C
2)yeah so?
1) R-O-C-K!!!
2)oh the K is silent!
1): Donkey Kong sucks. 2): Know what? YOU SUCK!
1): You want some of this milk, Sideburns? 2): I’d rather have a beer…
1)Ask her if she would go out with anybody from class. 2)No! 1)JUST DO IT!!!
1)Carl do that stupid laugh that Eric does 2)Wheeeeheheheheheheh 1)Yeah that’s it.
1)Heh heh heh. Hey, Billy, I just thought of the funniest thing–Billy? Where’s Billy?! 2)He’s in school, man. 1)Oh yeah!
1)Hey Ernie. What’s up? 2)Nothing. 1)You falling in love with the wall or something? 2)I had an accident. 1)You had an accident? What does that mean–GOOOO!
1)hey look billy peed his pants 2)course i peed my pants its the cool thing to do 1)hey look ernie peed his pants to
1)Hey you can have the mucus queen over their 2)Thanks!!
1)Hey, look everybody! Billy peed his pants! 2)Of course I peed my pants! Everybody my age pees their pants, it’s the coolest! 1)Really? 2)YES!! You ain’t cool unless you pee your pants! 1)Hey, man. Ernie peed his pants too! All right! 3)If peeing your pants is cool, then consider me Miles Davis.
1)Hey, you wanna feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up? 2)Maybe later. 1)I’ll go put some beer in a bucket.
1)I’m so depressed. 2)Want me to take my shirt off for you?
1)It’s one of theose flaming bags again. 2)Don’t put it out with your boods, Ted. 1) Don’t tell me my business, Devil Woman! Call the fire department, this one’s getting out of control…it’s poop again! …He called the shit, poop!
1)Max. What can I say? You saved my life. 2)You don’t have to say anything, I’m so proud of you. I’m still horny.
1)Mr. Madison seems nice. 2)If I see you talking to that boy again, I’ll throw you out the window! You heard me?
1)Now let’s all turn our Reading is Fun books to page 69– 2)69! HAHAHAHAHA!
1)Sorry about that. Damn guy drives like an animal! 2)Huh? 3)It’s okay, Billy. Just go back to your seat. 1)Okay. 3)I double dare you. 1)But I–accident…
1)What day is it? 2) October?
1)yes…i will go BACK to school and achieve victory…no one will take what my father has built unless that man is me 2) my billy…sweet billy boy…i knew u would go back…nothing can stop u if u try…dont i have a nice rack 1) veronica i thnka u…for beating the shit out of me…i see things so clearly now…i choose my destiny 2)oh billy i knew u had it in ya 3) we’re here to help u billy…get back in school to stay…u gotta work real hard…and stick it out…til graduation day… 4)hey! kids…its me! bet u thought that i was dead…but when i fell over i just broke my leg and got a hemorhage in my head! 3) there are obsitcles in the way 5) in the way 3)but together we will over come 5) OVER COME! 3) but u cant break a spirit and u cant kill a dream 5) DREAM!!! 3 do u have anymore gum more gum more gum more gum 1) DO YOU HAVE ANYMORE GUM
1. Do you remember that spelling bee that you won in the first grade? 2. Oh, no. You didn’t. 1. Rock. R-O-K. 2. So, what’s your point? 1. R-O-C-K! 2. The ‘C’ is silent.
1. I’m sick, I swear. I can’t go to school. 2. If you’re going to stay home, you can help me shave my armpits.
1. Who would you rather bone? Jack Nicholson or Meg Ryan? 2. Jack Nicholson now, or 1974. 1. 1974. 2. Meg Ryan.
1. Here’s a nice piece of shit!(scoops up dog poo into bag) 2. Ohmigosh, Old Man Clemens hates shit! 1. He’s gonna SHIT when he realizes it’s SHIT! Who’s got the lighter! 3. Light it! (bag is lit and doorbell is rung and the group hide behind a bush) 4(opening door before noticing) Whaddaya want? Geez Harper, it’s one of those flaming bags again! 5. (in house) Don’t put it out with your boots, Ted! 4. Don’t tell me my business, devil woman! (stomps out bag before taking off shoe and noticing smell) Ugghh, poop again! 1. He called the shit, poop!(laughter) 4. I’ll get you damn kids for this, you’re all gonna DIE! (laughter continues)
1. Making fun of a little boy who’s trying to read. Are you psycho? Do you not have a soul? 2. I’m sorry. I can’t hear you. I’ve been physically abused in the ear. 1. You keep your mouth shut for the next two weeks, or I’m going to fail you. End of story. 2. I see your lips moving, but I can’t make out the words. I’m deaf!
1. Oh snack packs! You’re the coolest! 2. Those should last you through the weekend.
1. Rerrudo? 2. Those are z’s. 1. They look like r’s to me. 2. That’s not fair! Rezzudo isn’t even a word, he’s a baseball player.
1. Would you like to try the word buzz?
1. Rock? R O K? 2.The c is silent
1. The mucas queen is yours! 2. Thanks!
1. The mucus queen…is yours! 2. THANKS!!
1. who would you rather bone..meg ryan or jack nickleson? 2. jack nickleson NOW or 1967? 1. mmm 1967 2. …..meg ryan
1. You don’t want to hang out with a bunch elementary school kids like us anymore.
2. That’s not true. I visit you guys all the time.
3. Yeah, to see your girlfriend. Ooooh-ooooh.
1.) (Dog on TV) Speak for yourself moron! 2.) hahahha OH MY GOD that is FUNNY!!
1.) Geez what’s up her butt?
2.) What’s that Billy?
3.)I said reading is good can we start the story now?
1.) That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace. I know from experience dude, if you know what I mean. 2.) No you don’t 1.) Not me personally but a guy I know. Him and her got it on! WOOOWEEE!! 2.) No they didn’t! 1.) No..no no they didn’t.. but you can image what it would be like though?
1.hey you want some of this milk? 2.uh..that milk belongs to room 112 1.They dont gots to know about it. This milk could be our milk. 2.no milk will ever be our milk.
1/Billy… what are you doing 2/ I’m out 1/ Well that useally means that you sit out for the rest of that game 2/ Nah it’s ok i would rather just stay here and colour 2/ Billy dodgeball time is a very special time…. not just for you kids for Miss Lippy aswell….. so stay outside
1: Congragulations Billy, You just passed the first grade! 2:WOW, what do you think about that Mr. Duck 3: That’s quacktastic!
1: Mr. *******, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
2: A simple no would’ve done just fine.
1: Mr. Madison, what you have just said, is one of the most insanely idiotic things i’ve ever heard, At no point during your rambling, incoherant response, were you even close to anything that could have been considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber having listened to it. i award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. 2: Ok, a simple WRONG would have done just fine, but…
1: now that we’re all alone what do u wanna do 2: I can think of three things, one would involve a buffalo live or stuffed preferably stuffed for safety reasons, two would bring back that buffalo and some ice cubes, three would switch out the buffalo with a 9 iron…(Karl walks in) 3: Billy 2: Karl, so nice to see you!
69! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
69, heheh.
69…ahaha
Hey look at all this milk… do you want some of this milk??
That milk belongs to that classroom.
Well they don’t gots to know about it. It could be our milk.
No milk will ever be our milk.
Ohh that wasn’t very nice!! How bout you sideburns, you want some milk?
I’d rather have a beer…
A) Are ya fallin in love with the wall or somethin?
B) I kinda had an accident.
A) Waddya mean you had an acci… GOO!!!
A) That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace. I know from experience.
B) No you don’t.
A) No, I don’t, but a guy I know…him and her GOT…IT…ON!
B) No they didn’t.
A) No, they didn’t. But you can imagine what it’d be like if they did, huh…huh?
A:I dare you to touch her boobs.
B:That’s assault buddy.- you double dare me??
accually, this shirt belongs to frank
Actually, i stole this shirt from frank
and if either contestant attempts to cheat.. especially with my wife.. who is a dirty, dirty tramp.. I will just have to snap.
Any attempt to cheat, especially with my wife, who is a dirty dirty tramp, and i am just gonna snap!
Any attempt to cheat, especially with my wife, who is a dirty, dirty, tramp, and I am just gonna snap.
Are you (name). Yes I am. Don’t you think it’s pathetic that just because he’s a millionaire? Yes I do. Well, just as long as you know. Alright then.
back to school back to school to prove to dad i am not a fool i got my back pack on my back my boots tied tight i hope i dont get in a fight
Back to school back to school to prove to dad that i’m not a fool i’ve got my lunch pack packed my boots tighed tight i hope i dont get in a fight ooohhh back to school back to school back to school…
Back to school back to school to prove to dadda I’m not a fool I got my boots tied tight my lunch backed up I hope I don’t get in a fight oh back to school back to school.
back to school back to school to prove to daddy that im not a fool, got my lunch paked up my shoes tied tight i hope i dont get in a fight, back to school back to school back,to,school
Back to school, Back to school to prove to my Dad im not a fool, Ihave my lunch packed all tight, I hope Idon’t get into a fight.
Back to school, back to school to show to my daddy that I am no foll.
Bath, thats a little easy, why don’t you just give her the trophy.
big can of shut the hell up
billy goddammit how many f*** times have i told u not to speak in jibberish…… bye billy Sabador….vocour
Billy likes to drink soda. Ms Lippy’s car is green.
Billy Madison: No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? this girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I’m here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.
billy madison:actually this shirt belongs to frank
billy passed the 3rd grade… oooh what a glorious daaaay… billy passed the 3rd grade… the billy madison waaay!! (billy) yeeah, ROCK ON!
Billy passed the third grade oh what a day
BILLY!! I swear to God, I’m sick, I can’t go to school. Well, if you’re gonna stay home from school, you can help me shave my ARMPITS! HEHEHE! Oh my GOD, I’ll go to school.
Billy, oh Billy boy. When will you find whatever it is you are looking for …
billy-couch…C-O-R…ARE you going to the mall afterschool? teacher-no billy im not!go on! billy-C-O-U-C-H? teacher-correct! billy-I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE!
BILLY: (singing)back to sckool, back to school, to prove to dad that i’m not a fool, i got my lunch packed up my boots tied tight, i hope i don’t get in a fight…ohh back to school back to school back to.. school…
Billy: (when he’s drunk chasing the peguin) Watch out butler!! Your a quick one!
Billy: Actually, I stole this shirt from Frank.
(lifts the shirt to show Frank’s name on it with permanent marker)
Billy’s Dad: God damnit Billy! Are you some kind of moron!
BILLY: Bunt. B-U-N-T, in perfect cursive. Got any more brain-busters?
VERONICA: How about ‘Rizzuto’? (BILLY writes) Rirruto?
BILLY: Those’re Z’s.
VERONICA: They look like R’s to me.
BILLY: You’re cheating! Rizzuto’s not a word! He’s a baseball player!
VERONCIA: Would you like to try the word ‘buzz’?
Billy: I’m sick, I swear to God I can’t go to school. Maid: If you stay home, you can help me shave my armpits, HAHA! Billy: Oh myyy God, I’ll go to school.
Billy: Peein’ yo’ pants, is the coolest! Old Tour Guide: If peein’ yo’ pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis! Billy: Eeew! That’s the most disgusting thing I have ever heard in my life, let’s go!
Billy: Veronica Vaughn, so hot, what to touch the heinie.
BILLY: whoa, whoa, ms. lippy the part in the story i don’t like is that the little boy gave up looking for the dog after an hour. I mean he didn’t put posters up or anything he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. When your dog is lost you don’t look for an hour and call it quits you get your ass out there and you find that fuckin dog!
Billy:I swear to god i’m sick.
Juanita: If you stay home, you can help me shave my armpits!
Bryan Binno is honestly the gayest kid ALIVE!!! HE IS SUCH A FAG! HAHAHAHHAHA!
but ya see the puppy was now a dog and the industry my friends that was a revolution
But, peeing your pants is the coolest!!!
c-o-r….r….are you going to the mall later that’s what i’m asking no i am not going to the mall, keep spelling mister
Carl! Good to see ya!
CARL: Billy, get a little sun today? BILLY: Yeah, i fell asleep by the pool. ERIC: Fell asleep? or do you mean passed out? BILLY: AHAHAHAHA
Chlorophyl, more like BORE-aphyl.
chlorophyll, more like BOROPHYLL!
chlorophyll, more like boropyll!!
Chlorophyll? More like BORE-ophyll
Cholrophyl!? More like boraphyl!
Chyrofill, more like BORE-ifill!
clorafill more like boorafill!!!
clorophil more like boraphil
Clown: Hey Kids! I bet you thought that I was dead!!
But I just broke my leg!!! And got a hemerage in my head!!!
Clown: Hey kids, it’s me- I bet ya thought that I was dead, but when I feel over I just broke my neck and got a hemerage in my head!
Did you fall asleep or did ya pass out??
Do you have any more gum more gum more gum, do you have any more gum! (song)
Do you have any more gum….More gum…More gum
Doing the bull dance…feeling the flow…working it, working it
Dont i have a nice rack
dont put it out with your boots ted
eric is pregnat come here.. feel those kicks he gonna be a soccer player he is …he iiiiiiissssss
ERIC!? You’re gonna give the company to Eric? He is a BAD, BAD man!
Eric’s having a baby…ohhh feel it kick…he’s gonna be a soccer playa…yes he is
Eric’s pregnant! Congratulations dippy! Oooh he’s kicking! He’s going to be a soccer player! He is!
Eric, come on, let’s not throw ice at Billy…HE’S SLEEPING!!!
Everybody on? Good. Great. Grand. Wonderful. NO YELLING ON THE BUS!!!
Everybody pees their pants.
Fat Kid:Look everyone Billy peed his pants… Other Kid:Hey Ernie did too Billy:your not the coolest unless you pee your pants!! Old Lady:If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Father: You GRADuated because I paid your teachers to give you descent grades! Billy: I don’t believe that. Father: Well what do you believe? that you were an honors student!? Billy: (Shrugs).. Father: How am I suppose to give the company to someone who couldn’t even get through high school, On His OWN. Billy: Wa- I don’t know, don’t think about it, jus’ hand it over. (Gives thumbs up)
Fine you can stay home and help me shave my armpits!!!!!!1
Frank:oh man billy i just thought of the funniest thing…Billy? Where’s billy? Jack:he’s in school man Frank:oh yeah
fuck me oh fuck me
GO ON WITH THE CHLORAFILL!
GOO
GOO!
Good morning Miss Vaughn!
Were gonna start today by reading together a short story entitled My Sister Fanny. HAHAHA
Ok so let’s all open our reading is fun books to page 69.
69, heheh.
Great! Grand! Wonderful! No yelling on the bus!
Guy: (something in spanish)
Billy: Slow down…
Guy: (Slows down a bit)
Billy: Ah.
Hahahahaha…. SHUT UP!!
Have some more SLOPPY joes. I made em extra sloppy for yas, cause I know how you kids likes em sloppy. (Billy) Lady, you’re scaring us!
He called the shit poo!
he called the shit poop
He called the shit poop!
He called the shit poop!
he called the shit POOP! HAHAHA!!!
HE called the shit poop!!!!!!
He’s gonna be a soccer player. He is. He iiissss.
Hello Mr.Penguin…
Hello Ms. Vaughn, hi its earnie from class.
Here’s a nice peice of shit.
Here’s a nice piece of shit
Hey Carl, Good to see you!
Hey Harold, GOOD TO SEE YOU!!!
Hey kids its me I guess you fought I was dead I just fell down and broke my leg and got a hemorage in my head haha
Hey mister, guess what i had for breakfast? BEANS
Hey Tubby, how bout a little bathroom reading? I’ve got the 1983 issue of wrestling world.
Where’d you get that?
Oh I have a subscription.
Its got a great article on a wrestler named the revolting blob. Ya know somethin, he kinda looks like someone I know. Gee bad guy, he threw one apponent out of the ring and hit a bunch of senior citizens. Boy this wacko sure looks familiar. My god, in June, 1983 he sat on some guys head, and killed him.
It was just a stunt, he was soposed to pinch my led if he was running short of air.
Well with this guy sitting on everyones head and all, i wonder how he had time to get his teaching degree.
Hey where’s my snack pack? Your not getting a snack pack your getting a banana. I dont want a banana I wanna snack pack! I’ll be your snack pack
Hey! You are not cool until you pee your pants!
Hey, wanna go feed that donkey some beer?
How about you sideburns, you want some of this milk?
How about you Sideburns? You want some of this milk?
How bout’ you sidburns you want some milk
i rather have a beer
I always feel like an idiot..but I am an idiot so it kinda works out!
i am the smartest man alive!!!
I drew the duck blue because I have never seen a blue duck, and quite frankly, I wanted to see a blue duck.
I drew the duck blue because I’ve never seen a blue duck before. And to be honest with you, I wanted to see a blue duck.
i drwe a blue duck because i’ve never seen a blue duck and i wanted to see a blue duck
i had a bad case of loser denial myself
I have no response for that
I know who stole those lunches…it was that damn sasquatch!!!!
I think crazy Karl is right.
I think its time to play, dodgeball
I think…it’s time…to play…dodgeball.
I thought I was yo snack pack.
i thought i was your snack pack
I thought I was your Snack Pack!
I’d rather have a beer
i’m having a birthday party, and you’re not invited
If peeiin your pants is cool, concider me Miles Davis!
If peein in you pants is cool, call me miles davis
if peein in your pants is cool, consider me miles davis
If peein your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis
If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
if peeing your pants is cool conider me miles davis
if peeing your pants is cool consider me Miles Davis
If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!
If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
If peeing your pants is cool, then consider me Miles Davis!!
If peeing your pants is cool,than consider me Miles Davis
If pising your pants is cool then you can consider me Miles Davis.
if you’re gonna stay home, you can help me shave my aaaarmpits– oh god i’ll go to school
im so sorry to interrupt. proceed
In this decathalon I want no cheating!!! Especially with my wife, who is a dirty, dirty tramp.
is that is dad? did the penguin tell you to do this?
Is that it dad? Did the penguin tell you to do this?
Is that it daddy? Did the penguin tell you to do this?
It could be our milk
it is cool….to pee your pants!
peeing your pants is the cooooolllist!!!
It’s a flaming bag a shiettt
It’s nudie magazine day!!
It’s poop again
Don’t put it out with your boots Ted
Don’t tell me my business devil woman
It’s too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin around!
It’s too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around?!
It’s too damn hot for a penguin to be running around.
It’s too damn hot for a penguin to be walking around here!
It’s too damn hot for a penguin to be walking around out here!
It’s too damn hot for a penquin to be just walkin around!
it’s way too hot for a penguin to just be walking around here
Its too damn hot for a penguin to be just WALKin around
Its too damn hot for a PENGUIN to be just walking around here! I’ve gotta get you back to the zoo! Im one of the good guys penguin dont run…WATCH OUT!..Oh, youre a quick one…..Now Ive got you…(thud)…LEG!
jack-wanna give that donkey some beer…get it all messed up? billy-maybe later pal. jack-ok ill go get some beer,in a bucket.
Juanita: If you stay home from school, you can help me shave my armpits!
Billy: Oh My God I’ll Go To School!
Juanita:If you stay home from school you can help me shave my arm pits
Billy: Thats discusting! alright, alright, i’ll go to school!
Kid 1: Miss Vaughn, Miss Vaughn, someone stole our lunches. Miss Vaughn: Thats odd who would steal thirty sack lunches. Old Lady: Ill tell you who did it, it was that damn sasquatch.
Kid-Mom, this is Billy, i heard he was retarted or something.
Kids: Hey look Billy peed his pants
Billy: Of course I peed my pants, peeing your pants is cool, everybody my age is doing it
Kids: Look Ernie peed his pants too (High Five Ernie) Cool Dude
Old Woman: If peeing your pants is cool then consider me Miles Davis
Billy: Oh that’s got to be one of the most discusting things i have ever heard
Leg.
Little kid on bus: I dare you to touch her boobs Billy: Touch her boobs? That’s assult brotha! Ya double dare me.
teacher: Why don’t you go sit down now Billy I double dare ya!
Billy..I see I tit go sit down
Maid- billy get up for school. Billy-no school. want to stay home. Maid-wanna stay home and help shave my arm pits? Billy-….i’ll go to school
Man, am I glad I called THAT guy!!!
MISS LIPPY: billy..billy you forgot your stuff…(billy looking at her like wtf?!) BILLY: THANK YOU VERY MUCH MISS LIPPY!!!
miss veronica is so hot, want to touch the heiny
mortal combat fro sega genisis is the best game ever. i dissagree although mortal combat is a very good game i think donkey kong is the best game ever. donkey kong sucks. you know somthin you suck.
Mr Ed: Speak for yourself moron!
Billy : OHh MY GOD, THAT IS FUNNY!!!!!!!
mr madison, wat u just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things i have ever heard…at no point in your rambling, incoherent response were u even close to anything that could even be considred a rational thought. everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul.
Mr Madison: oh billy boy, when will you find what you are looking for?
NEXT SCENE
Billy: here’s a nice piece of shit!
Mr. madison what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things i have ever heard. At no point in your rambling incoherent response were you weven clost to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul!
Mr. Madison, that was the most insanly idiotic thing i have ever heard in my entire life. At no point in your rambling, incoherent responce were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may god have mercy on your soal…. A simple no would have done just fine but….
mr. madison, what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things i have ever heard. at no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. i award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Mr. Madison, what you have just said was the most insanly idiotic thing i have ever heard in my entire life. At no point in your rambling, incoherent responce were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may god have mercy on your soal…. A simple no would have done just fine but….
Mr. Madison, what you just said is one of the most insanely, idiotic things that I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent reponse were you even close to anything that can be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.
Mr. Madison, what you just said is one of the most insanely, idiotic things that I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent reponse were you even close to anything that can be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul
Mr. Madison, what you just said is the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point in you incoherent rambling response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. We are all now dumber for having had listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul!!
Mr. Madison, what you just said was the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point during your rambling incoherent repsonse were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in here is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul…Billy, A simple no would have been just fine but ah thank you!
Mr. Madison…there NO pengiun! you had too much sun today…there NO pengiun!
Mr.Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I’ve ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Mr.Madison. billy I have some news Billy. ERIC is pregnant oh its kickin hes gonna be a soccor player!! yeah yeah
Ms. Lippy, the part of the story I don’t like, is how the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn’t put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goone and waited. That little boy’s gotta think, you gotta a pet, you got a responsibility. If your dog is lost you don’t look for an hour and call it quits. YOU GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE AND YOU FIND THAT FUCKEN DOG!!!!!
Ms. Vaughn: what you say
Billy (as Ernie): uh see you tomorrow in class Ms. Vaughn
(hangs up)
Billy: YOU BLEW IT
No I will not make out with you!
No I will not make out with you! We got clorophyll man up here talkin about God knows what and all you wanna talk about is makin out with me! I’m here to learn people, not to make out with you. Go OOONN with the clorophyll!!
No I will not make out with you! We’ve got chlorophyll man talking about GOD knows what and all you’re talking about is making out with me! I’m here to learn, not to make out with you, so GO ON WITH THE CHLOROPHYLL!
NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU! Did you hear that? She wants to make out with me in the middle of class? We’ve got chlorophyll man talkin’ about God knows what, and all she can say is how much she wants to make out with me! I’m hear to learn, everybody, not to make out with you! Go on with the chlorophyll!
No I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU! haha u got chlorophyll man up there talking about God Knows WHAT?! and all she’s talkin about is makin out with me…Please Continue
No I will not make out with you! This guy’s up here talking about God knows what, and all you want to do is make out with me!
no milk will ever be our milk.
No milk will ever be our milk…
NO YELLING ON THE BUS
noo..conditioner is betta it makes your hail silky and smoooth
Now your all in big big trouble!
Now, now…maybe its someone else..
O’Doyle rules!
O’Doyle Rules!!
O’Doyle rules!!!
O’Doyle Rules!!!!!
O’Doyle: O’Doyle RULES!
Billy: You know what o’doyle i have a feelin your whole family’s going down but right know i got to study
Oh billy, passed the third grade oh what a wonderful day
oh i see what’s goin’ on here.
oh my God I am the winner.
Oh no, it’s that silly penguin again. It’s too damn hot for a penguin to just be wahking aroun’ here. I’m gonna have to send you back to the South Pole!
Oh, Eric’s gonna have a baby! Congradulations!! Oh, he’s kickin’! He’s gonna be a soccer player!
oh, you’re the quick one!!!!
Ohh back to school back to school, to prove to dad that I’m not a fool. I got my lunch all packed, my shoes tied tight, I hope I don’t get in a fight…ohh back to school
Ohhhh. I see whats goin on here. So soooory to interuuupt!
Ohhhhh, so sorry to interuuuupt!
Old lady: What are horseshoes? What do horseshoes do? Are there any horsesocks? Is anybody listening to me?
Ooh, that boy is a fine piece of work, alright. He’s a fine piece of ass, though, too!
oooooooh back to school back to school to proove to dad that im not a fool, i’ve got my, lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, i hope i dont get in a fight, ooooooh back to school…back…to……school………
peein your pants is cool
Please no jibberish. I beg you, no jibberish tonight.
Principal of HS: If there is any attempt by either contestant to cheat, especially with my wife, who is a dirty, dirty tramp, I am just going to snap, do I make my self clear?
Principal: Mr. Madison, what you just said is one of the most insanely, idiotic things I have ever heard. No where in your rambling, incoherent response where you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. Billy Madison: OK, a simple WRONG would have done just fine, but.
QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK (IIIIIICCCCCEEELLLANNNDD)
Quiz Guy:Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Scotty likes beans, dont you scotty? (kid shakes his head)
Shampoo is better cause it goes on first and cleans the hair. No conditioner is better it leaves the hair all silky and smooth. Stop looking at me swan.
Shampoo is better I go on first and clean the hair. No conditionar is better i make the hair silky and smooth. Oh really fool really. Ah…Ah…Ah. Stop looking at me swan
shampoo is better i go on first and clean the hair. No conditioner is better i keep the hait silky and smooth. Oh really fool. Really.**hit the bottles together** STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAM!!
shampoo is better i goes on first and clean the hair…conditioner is better i leave the hair silky and smooth!
Shampoo is better, I go on first and clean the hair!
No, conditioner is better! I leave the hair silky and smooth!
Oh really fool?
Really!
….
STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN!!
Shampoo is better, I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better, I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh really fool? Oh really fool?
Shampoo is better, I go on first and clean the hair. **No! Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth!** Stop lookingat me swan!
Shampoo is better, I go on first and clean the hair…NO conditioner is better I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh really fool!! Really…Pause…STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN!!!!!
Shampoo is better, it cleans the hair. No, conditoner is better- it leaves the hair silky and smooth. Oh really, fool? Really! Stop looking at me sssswwwaann!
Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean de hair. Conditionar is better. I leave de hair silky and smooth. Oh really fool? Really……Stop lookin’ at me shwan.
Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smoothe. Oh really fool? Really?…. Stop looking t me swan!
Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. No conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh really fool? really. (bangs the bottles together and drops them in the water. turns to swan figure) Stop looking at me Swan!
Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair…Conditioner is better, i leave the hair sily and smooth. Oh really fool? Really!
Shampoo is better. i go on first and i clean the hair.
Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth.
oh really fool?
Shampoo is better. It goes on first and cleans the hair. NO! Conditioner is better, it leaves the hair silky and smooth.
So sorry to INTERUUUUPT!
Sometimes I feel like an idiot, but I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.
Sometimes I feel like an Idiot. But I am an Idiot, so it kinda works out.
Sooo hot want to touch the heiny arrooooo
Sorry doesn’t put the triscuit cracker in my stomach, now does it Carl?
stay here and you can light bags of shit on fire in my living room
Stay here! As long as long as you can! You have to cherish it… cherish it…
Stop It! i Don’t even know you
stop looking at me swan
Stop looking at me swan!
STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN!!!!
STOP LOOKING AT ME…..SWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Students: Ms. Vaughn, Ms Vaughn…someone stoled all our lunches
Ms. Vaughn: Who would steal 30 baged lunches
Old Lady: I’ll tell you who it was it was that damn Sasquash
Suntan Lotion is good for me, You protect me, tee hee hee! uh-duba-duba. The sun tries to burn me, but you wont let it! Will ya? Ultraviolet rays- BAD! Lotion-GOOD! ::pfft pfft pfft:: Smiley!
T-T-T-T-TODAY, JUNIAAAH!
T-t-t-today junior!
T-T-T-TODAY JUNIOUR!!
Ta-ta-ta-today junior!
Tabadoohoo Yagaboo. Talihoohoo. GAYOO!
Talkie Talkie Talkie no more Talkie
Talliwhowho Sabadu Gaylo
Thank you Veronica,
for beating the shit out of me,
I see things so clearly now,
I choose my destiny!
Thank-you for beating the shit out of me
that boys a fine piece of work alright, he’s a fine piece of ass though too!
that is 1 of the most insanly idiotic things I hav eva heard at no point in ur incoherent ramblin response did u come close 2 makin wut could b considered a rational thought everybody in this room is now dumber for having listened to it, I award u no points n may God hav mercy on ur soul
That is correct!
That is corrrrect.
That is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your incoherent, rambling response, did you come close to making what could be considered a rational thought. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
That kid should get off his fat ass and find that fuckin’ dog!
That looks like a nice piece of shit…
That Ms. Vaughn is one fine peice of ace (ass) this guy I know and her got it ON! No they didnt. Yea but if they did woweeeee!
That Veronica Vonn is one piece of ace.
That Victoria Vaughn is one nice piece of ayss…
THat’s an excellent blue duck.
That’s assault brotha
That’s QUACKTASTIC!
Thats Billy…I think he’s retarded or something
Thats Quacktastic!
The muccus queen…is yours
The people at the zoo are very nice Penguin. They’ll treat you real respectable like.
Those came with the tent!
Tttttttday junior!
ublalaalalaldafdkajkjlkjdjfakdjflkaljfda sloooooooow down… djfkdjalkfdjlkjafdjakfdjlkajfld
ultraviolet rays bad lotion good ****SMILEY
Ump)Out! Billy) Out? Ump) I think you were out. Billy) I think you’re gonna die!
VERONICA (singing): My Billy, sweet Billy boy, I knew you would come back. No one can stop you if you try, don’t I have a nice rack? (Billy nods his head) Billy (still singing): Veronica I thank you, for beating the shit out of me, I see things so clearly now, I choose my destiny.
Veronica I thank you for beating the shit out of me
Veronica singing: Billy, sweet Billy BOy, I knew you would come back. No one can stop you if you try, don’t I have a nice rack?
Veronica:Tale of Two Citys,I don’t think we’re up to that one yet
Billy:I can understand nine words in that books now
Wanna feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up?
Uhhh… maybe later.
Okay. I’ll go put some beer in a bucket.
We are so lucky to have Principal Anderson as a substitute today,Now we have the privelage of staring at that tub of lard all day long, If I were him I’d walk my fat ass right into oncoming traffic.
We are so lucky to have principle Anderson as a substitute. Now we have the privelage to sit and watch that fat tub of lard all day. If i were him i’d walk my fat ass into on coming traffic.
We’re here to help you billy, get back to school to stay….you gotta work real hard and keep it up til graduation day!!!
We’re here to help you Billy, get back to school today… You gotta work real hard, and stick it out til graduation day. Billy, sweet billy boy, I knew you go back. Noone can stop you if you ty, dont I have a nice rack? Veronica, i thank you for beating the shit outta me.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!, That’s nice!
Well if peeing your pants is cool consider me Miles Davis.
well your mommys a liar
well, i drew the duck blue because i’ve never seen a blue duck, and to be honest with ya, i wanted to see one
What about you, sideburns? You want some a dis milk? Rather have a beer…
What are horseshoes? Are there horsesocks? Is anybody listening to me?
What day is it??? October… Its nudie magizine day
What do you care now you dont ever have to look for a job. now dont you needsome rest you got a big day ahead of you filled with nintendo’s and jack off magizines.
What is a horseshoe? What does a horseshoe do? Are there any horsesocks? Is anybody listening to me…?
what is a horseshoe? what does a horseshoe do? are there any horsesocks? is anybody listening?
What is a horseshoe?? What does a horseshoe do?? Are there any horse socks?? Is anybody listening to me??
What’s wrong, Ernie, you fall in love with the wall?
what…did you fall in love with the wall or something….
When I graduated first grade all my old man did was tell me to get a job.
Where’s my snack pack!?!?!
Who got da ligher?
who would eat 32 bagger lunches? – i’ll tell ya who, it was that damn sasquach
Who would steal 30 bag lunches?
Who would u rather bone? Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack nicholson? Jack Nicholson now or 1974? 1974. Meg Ryan
whoa whoa whoa miss lippy… the part of the story i don’t like is that the little boy gave up looking for happy after an hour? he didn’t put posters up or anything he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited… that boy’s gotta think… you gotta pet, you getta responsibility. if your dog is lost you don’t look for an hour and call it quits, you get your ass out there and you FIND THAT FUCKIN DOG!!!………….. i think it’s time to play dodgeball.
Whoa, whoa, whoa Miss Lippy. The part of the story I dont like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. That little boy’s gotta think, youve got a PET youve got a RESPONSIBILITY. WHen your dog gets lost, you dont look for an hour and call it quits, you get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Miss Lippy the part of the story I dont like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. That little boys gotta think youve got a PET youve got a RESPONSIBILITY. If your dog gets lost you dont look for an hour and call it quits, you get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Miss Lippy, the part I don’t like is that the kid stopped looking for Happy for about an hour. He didn’t put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That boy’s gotta think, you got a pet. When your dog gets lost, you don’t wait for an hour after looking for him. You get your ass out there and find that fuckin’ dog!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Ms. Lippy! The part of the story I don’t like, is that the little boy gave looking for Happy after an HOUR! He didn’t put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. He’s gotta think, you have a pet! You got a responsibility! If your dog is lost you don’t look for an hour and call it quits! You get your ass out there and you find that fuckin’ dog! Ms Lippy: I think it’s time to play dodgeball.
woah woah woah miss lippy..the part of the story i dont like is that the little boy gave up looking for happy after an hour..he didnt put posters up or anything he just sat around like a goon and waited. That kids gotta think–you got a pet..you got a responsibility. You dont just look around for and hour and call it quits you get ur ass out there and YOU FIND THAT FUCKIN DOG!
would you like me to take my shirt of for you?
Ya double-dare me?!
Yahoo for school! Yahoo for me!
Yep. Here we go again. Another treat from the road. Great. Grand. Wonderful. Great banana. Trick of the day. Great…
yes well you can have the mucus queen
You ain’t cool if you don’t pee in your pants!!!!!!!!!
you ain’t cool unless you pee your pants.
you ain’t cool, unless you pee your pants. peeing your pants is the coolest
You aren’t cool unless you pee in your pants!
YOU BLEW IT!
YOU BLEW IT!!!!
You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog!
You got a pet. You got a responcibility. If your dog is lost you dont look for an hour and call it quits. You get ur ass out there and you find that fucking dog.
Your gunna give the company to ERIC! HE IS A BAD BAD MAN!
Your only cool if you pee in your pants
Youve got a mis-shaped head.
Thank you.
~Shampoo is better i go on first and clean the hair…conditioner is better i leave the hair feel silky and smooth…oh really fool?? REALLY! Stop looking at me swan~
~ Your not cool unless you pee your pants~
~So sorry to interrupt~
~So go on wit the class~
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Billy Madison’: Quotes from the movie ‘Billy Madison’
