#1: The little mermaid #2: Lassie come home #1: Bambi Wednesday: Stop it! Joe(refering to Pugsley): He’s only a child!
(1)… and then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and put the diamond in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
(2)Our parents are having a baby too.
(3)They had sex.
(1)We don’t want to hurt him, we just want to play with him.
(2)Especially his head
(1)What a lady killer!
(2)Aquitted.
(AMANDA) Why are you dressed like somebody died?
(WEDNESDAY) Wait.
(BECKY) It’s an American Bald Eagle! (GARY) But, aren’t they extinct? (WEDNESDAY) They are now
(DEBBIE) Would you die for me?
(FESTER) Yes.
(DEBBIE) Promise?
(GOMEZ) Children, why do you hate the baby?
(PUGSLEY) We don’t hate him. We just wanna play with him.
(WEDNESDAY) Especially his head.
(GOMEZ) He has my father’s eyes.
(MORTICIA) Gomez, take those out of his mouth.
(Little Girl)……and then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and put the diamond in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
(Pugsley) Our parents are having a baby too.
(Wednesday) They had sex.
1) I would like to renew my passport, I’ll be leaving the country very soon. 2) Alone? 3) Yes, I’ll be widowed.
1) Uncle Fester is getting married 2) Oh a wedding that’s wonderful! 3) To who? 4) Somebody with a white uniform 5) An Oncologist? 6) The Nanny 7) Get out! The help?!
1) Wednesday’s at that age when a young girl has only one thing on her mind.
2) Boys?
3) Homicide.
1)I’ll be the victim
2)All your life.
1. And the mommy and daddy kiss, and the mommy tells the stork, and the stork drops off a diamond under a leaf in a cabbage patch, and the diamond turns into a baby.
2. Our parents are having a baby too.
3. They had sex.
1. And the mommy kissed the daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from Heaven and drops off a diamond under a leaf in a cabbage patch, and the diamond turns into a baby.
2. Our parents are having a baby too.
3. They had sex.
1. Miss Debbie!! 2. DEBRA!!!!!
1.He has my father’s eyes. 2.Gomez, take those out of his mouth.
1:I’ll be the victim!! 2:All your life
Amanda: I’ll be the victim! Wednesday: All you’re life.
Amanda: Is that your bathingsuit?
Wednesday: Is that your overbite?
Amanda: Why are you dressed like that? Wednesday: Like what? Amanda: Like your going to a funeral. Why are you dressed like somebody died? Wednesday: Wait.
Debbie: I’ll get you.. and you’re little hand too!
Debbie: Isn’t he a ladykiller. Gomez: Acquitted. Debbie: I can show you all my references, so you know I’m not a homicidal maniac. Morticia: Of course your not. Gomez: Your too young.
Debbie: Really, I just can’t tell, does he like me at all? Morticia: Of course he does; he vomited.
Debbie: Sorry Debbie, no Mercedes this year, we have to set an example.
Debbie: These Addams’ men, where do you find them?
Morticia: It has to be damp.
Fester: Dementia.. What a beautiful name. Dementia: It means ‘Insanity’. Fester: My name is Fester; it means ‘to rot’.
Fester: You’ll be right back, won’t you? Debbie: (picks up her suitcases and begins to walk out) Of course.
Gary: Do you know what just might turn their sad and potentially wasted little lives around? Joel: What? Chippewa Leaders & Campers: (break out in song with a guitar) Kumbayyaa..my lord. Kumbayyyaa..
Gary: It’s an Amercian Bald Eagle! Becky: But weren’t they extinct? Wednesday: They are now.
Gomez: Children, why do you hate the baby? Pugsley: We don’t hate him. We just want to play with him. Wednesday: Especially his head.
Gomez: He has my father’s eyes. Morticia: Gomez, take those out of his mouth.
Gomez: You’ll meet someone. Someone very special, who won’t press charges. Fester: Oh, I’d like that.
Gomez: You’re going to have a wonderful life together. Debbie: Yes, I am.
Hearse-Driver: Mrs. Addams? You’re hearse mam, where’s the body? Debbie: He’s right there (points to Fester)! Hearse-Driver: But he’s alive! Debbie: tell em about it!
Hearse-Driver: Mrs. Addams? You’re hearse mam, where’s the body? Debbie: He’s right there (points to Fester)! Hearse-Driver: But he’s alive! Debbie: Tell me about it!
Joel: I’ll never forget you. Wednesday: You won’t? Joel: You’re too weird.
Joel: Poor Debbie, she was sick. Wednesday: She wasn’t sick, she was sloppy. Joel: What do you mean? Wednesday: If I wanted to kill my husband, I’d do it and I wouldn’t get caught. Joel: How? Wednesday: I’d scare him to death. Joel: No you wouldn’t. (to Debbie’s grave) We’re all very sorry, Debbie. We wish you only the best.. (as he places a rose on her grave an arm grabs him from the ground, while Wednesday smiles mischeiviously in the background).
Little Girl: And then Mummy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from Heaven and left the diamond under a leaf in the cabbage-patch, and the diamond turned into a baby. Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby too. Wednesday: They had sex.
Margaret: No, that’s the baby’s nickname; ‘What’. From the obstraetrician.
Morticia: Gomez, Marvellous news. I’m going to have a baby.. right now.
Morticia: Goodnight Debbie. Debbie: Goodnight. Morticia: Scream if you need anything.
Morticia: Oh Wednesday’s at that very special age when a girl has only one hting on her mind. Mrs. Buckman: Boys? Wednesday: Homicide.
Morticia: You’ve gone too far, you have married fester, you have destroyed his spirit, you have taken him from us. All that I could forgive, but Debbie.. Debbie: What?! Morticia: (raises eyebrows) ..Pastels?
Nanny: Alright children, I’ve had it up to here. Now you just answer one simple question: Where is the baby? Wednesday: Which part?
Pugsley: We’re not shy. Wednesday: We’re contagious.
Wednesday: Pugsley, the baby weighs ten punds, the cannonball weighs twenty pounds, which will hit the stone walkway first? Pugsley: I’m still on fractions. Wednesday: Which do you think? Pugsley: The cannonball? Wednesday: Very good. But which one will bounce.
Amanda Buckman: Why are you dressed like somebody died?
Wednesday: Wait.
Debbie Jellinsky: I’ll be leaving the country very soon.
Ticket Agent: Will you be traveling alone?
Debbie Jellinsky: Yes, I’ll be a widow.
Debbie Jellinsky: I’ll get you — and your little hand, too!
Debbie: FREEZE!
Uncle Fester: Pookie?
Debbie: I tried to make it look like an accident. I tried to give you some dignity. But oh no, not you.
Uncle Fester: What are you saying?
Debbie: I’m saying I want you dead and I want your money.
Uncle Fester: But… but… don’t you love me?
Debbie: AH HA HA HA!
Uncle Fester: Is that a no?
Debbie: I don’t want to hurt anybody. I don’t enjoy hurting anybody. I don’t like guns or bombs or electric chairs, but sometimes people just won’t listen and so I have to use persuasion, and slides. My parents, Sharon and Dave. Generous, doting, or were they? All I ever wanted was a Ballerina Barbie in her pretty pink tutu. My birthday, I was 10 and do you know what they got me? Malibu Barbie. That’s not what I wanted, that’s not who I was. I was a ballerina. Graceful. Delicate. They had to go. My first husband, the heart surgeon. All day long, coronaries, transplants. ‘Sorry about dinner, Deb, the Pope has a cold.’ Husband number 2: the senator. He loved his state. He loved his country. Sorry Debbie. No Mercedes this year. We have to set an example.’ Oh yeah. Set this! My latest husband. My late, late husband Fester, and his adorable family. You took me in. You accepted me. But did any of you love me? I mean, really love me? So I killed. So I maimed. So I destroyed one innocent life after another. Aren’t I a human being? Don’t I yearn and ache… and shop? Don’t I deserve love… and jewelry? Good-bye everybody. Wish me luck.
The Addams Family: Good luck.
Debbie: What a lady killer!
Gomez: Acquitted.
Debbie: Would you die for me?
Uncle Fester: Yes.
Debbie: Promise?
Delivery Room Doctor: Would you like some anesthesia?
Morticia: No, but do ask the children.
Don’t I yearn? And ache? And shop? Don’t I deserve love? And jewelry?
Fresh air! Scent of pine!
Gary: Yes indeed, Bambi.
Becky: Lassie Come Home.
Gary: The Little Mermaid.
Wednesday: Stoppit.
Joel: He’s only a child.
Gomez: At his request, I would crawl on my belly through hot coals and broken glass.
Morticia: Why wait?
Gomez: Children, why do you hate the baby?
Pugsley: We don’t hate him. We just wanna play with him.
Wednesday: Especially his head.
Gomez: He has my father’s eyes.
Morticia: Gomez, take those out of his mouth.
Gomez: [to Fester] You’ll meet someone. Someone very special. Someone who won’t press charges.
Grandma: An axe. That takes me back…
I just wish i had more time to seek out the dark forces and join there hellish crusade
I’ll get you — and your little hand, too!
Isn’t that just sad? 2) Yes! 1) Don’t you just hate that? 2) Yes! 1) Don’t you wish they would just DIE?! 2) YES! 1) NO, but we are going to set an ex-AM-ple to show taht anypne no matter how odd or pale or chubby can still have a good time!
Joel Glicker: You know what happens if my mother uses fabric softener? I die.
Margaret Addams: What.
Debbie Jellinsky: Oh, I didn’t say anything.
Margaret Addams: No, that’s the baby’s nickname. ‘What.’
Morticia: I’m just like every modern woman trying to have it all. A loving husband, a family. I only wish I had more time to see out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.
Morticia: My baby is sick and my husband is dying. Oh Mama, What shall I do?
Grandma: Well, you have a black dress.
Morticia: Wednesday’s at that age when a young girl has only one thing on her mind.
Ellen Buckman: Boys?
Wednesday: Homicide.
Morticia: [Confronting Debbie in her house] You have gone too far. You have married Fester, you have destroyed his spirit, you have taken him from us. All that I could forgive. But Debbie… pastels?
Mrs. Buckman) Amanda’s already skipped two grades! How about yours?
Gomez) [Referring to Pugsley] Probation!
Pugsley: We don’t hug.
Gary: Oh, you’re just shy.
Wednesday: We’re not shy, we’re contagious.
Ron Buckman: Our Amanda’s skipped two grades already. How about your boy?
Gomez: [beaming] Probation!
Sorry Debbie…no Mercedes this year! We have to set an example.
The poor girl…Lurch, was she in the cake before you baked?
Uncle Fester: Dementia, what a beautiful name.
Dementia: It means ‘insanity.’
Uncle Fester: My name is Fester. It means ‘to rot.’
Uncle Fester: I’m her husband.
Debbie: Fester!
Uncle Fester: Gimme a kiss.
Debbie: Gimme a twenty.
Wednesday: And when they woke up…… all their old noses grew back. Girls in Cabin:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Wednesday: Be afraid, be very afraid.
Wednesday: I’m not perky.
Amanda Buckman: Well, that’s for damn sure.
Wednesday: What are you in for?
Joel: I wouldn’t go horse back riding.
Wednesday: That’s all?
Joel: And I wouldn’t make a bird house.
Wednesday: Why not?
Joel: I just wanted to read.
Gary: [Pops in and takes Joel’s book] Not on my time, four eyes. Ha ha ha ha ha!
Wednesday: You sent us to camp. They made us sing.
You sent us to camp. They made us sing.
You’ll meet someone. Someone very special. Someone who won’t press charges.
Young Girl: …and then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and put the diamond in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby too.
Wednesday: They had sex.
Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the pilgrims. And especially do not trust Sarah Miller. For all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground. –
[As an Indian, ad-libbing during a Thanksgiving play.]
Wednesday: Wait, we can not break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf, and eat hot h’ors d’ourves. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller. And for all of these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.
[At Camp Chippewa]
Pugsley: What does chippewa mean?
Gomez: It’s an old Indian word.
Wednesday: It means orphan.
[At Debbie’s house]
Morticia: Where are we?
Grandma: Looks familiar… of course, the gates of hell.
[At the police station after asking to arrest Debbie]
Gomez: Has the planet gone mad? My brother… passion’s hostage. I seek justice! Denied. I shall not submit! I shall conquer! I shall rise! My name is Gomez Addams, and I have seen evil!
[Grandma waves Pubert in the air]
Gomez: I have seen horror!
[Lerch waves]
Gomez: I have seen the unholy maggots which feast in the dark recesses of the human soul!
Morticia: They’re at camp.
Gomez: I have seen all this officer. But until today, I have never seen… YOU!
Desk sergeant: Hook him, book him, cook him. NOW!
[Grandma waves a skull at Debbie]
Grandma: Luxor, nexor, burst and BURN!
Debbie Jellinsky: What is she doing?
Grandma: Just a curse. Have a nice day.
[air kiss]
[Nanny holds up puppet]
Polly/Nanny: Hello, I’m Polly the Puppet.
Nanny: What do you think we should do today?
Polly: I know, lets all clean our rooms!
[Wednesday holds up Devil-like puppet]
Wednesday: Hello Polly, I will clean my room… in exchange for your immortal soul.
[Pugsley hits a bird during archery practice]
Becky Martin-Granger: It’s an American Bald Eagle!
Gary Granger: Aren’t they extinct?
Wednesday: They are now.
[The dancer in the cake doesn’t pop out.]
Gomez: Was she in the cake before you baked it?
[Lurch hangs his head.]
[They’re going swimming.]
Amanda Buckman: I’ll be the victim.
Wednesday: All your life.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Addams Family Values’: Quotes from the movie ‘Addams Family Values’
