Welcome to InnocentEnglish.com! Funny English Mistakes

InnocentEnglish.com Gold bar

Funny English For Kids and Students

Funny English Mistakes From around the World

By InnocentEnglish.com

Readers Digest Best of the Web, Canadian Learning TV,  Book Television,  NBC4.TV
 Los Angeles, WNBC.Com New York, Chicago Sun-Times, About.com-Humor site of the day, Go Daddy Radio, CBC Radio, radio stations throughout the U.S., and others.

Innocent English Gold Bar

Funny English Mistakes

 Funny mistakes are from new English students.  If you have ever tried to learn a new language, you know how hard it can be! We will all make many, many mistakes, and some will sound a little funny to native speakers. That's OK- It's part of learning. And a good sense of humor can help us have a good attitude and enjoy ourselves while we learn.  So, enjoy these actual funny mistakes from students I have taught.

A Funny Love Song

Compiled from lyrics of love songs translated
into English by ESL students.

From morning’s glaring sun to the smelly afternoon,


You are always inside my lonely brain.


I hope we meet in an accident very soon.


My heart will not stop hemorrhaging for you.


The night you squeezed me I visited heaven.


Your love flies me swiftly into a mountain.


You make my heart sour.

One day, you will startle yourself and say “oh no! 
Why did I walk the opposite direction of him?


Like the fishes need the ocean beach, I need you.


When you kiss me, you make my blood evaporate.


Your lovely, unwrinkly skin requests my attention

  You will always be my lemon moon ray lover.

Politics and Government

The second Word War had much propaganda


At that time, one of the most important weapons was the rocket lawn chair.


The President got off the plane and gave a big kiss to the first ladder.


The police were attacked by a large group 
of angry mops.


The American President is very powerful. For one thing, he chooses the supreme coat judges.


A bottom dweller is a fish that mostly dwells on bottoms.


Do you know what “elevation” means?

Yes. It means we all came from Dinosaur eggs.


Isaac Newton was the first discoverer of gravy.


The ocean is usually located near the coast.


The unihorn is an animal that has always been extinct


We sent some robots to mars but they 
refused to come back

There are many arguments how was the universe made. Some astrolomers belive in the big band theory.


 There are still plenty of fossil fools.

The article said there are only maybe five thousand beers left in B.C. This is a very serious problem… I think maybe we should only let very small people go beer hunting every year.

Funny Mistakes about

The Fur Trade

All over Europe people wanted more animal hair.


The Hudson Bay company was found in the 
Canada woods. 


Fur hunters catch furry animals, wash them, 
and dry them, and then sell them for women 
who wear them at fancy parties.


Many people in England wore beavers 
and other big rodents like the French.


Most beavers and foxes died and went to Europe.


The new pioneer people ate most of the barffalo.

Fortunately, now most people have fake fur.

A Day of Tutoring

Should I have a coma in the middle of this sentence?


I am sorry I am later. 
It took me ten minutes to ignite my car.


Am I making P correctly?


Did you have an accident?
When I was skiing, a tree got in front of me 
and hit me hard!


You called  at the perfect time. 
I just walked into a door.


Please don't shoot so many people in my country.
Please don't shoot people in my country very often.
Could you say it really slowly?
Police don't shoot people in my country very often.


I'm sorry, but I couldn't write my essay.
My roommate had a toothache this morning.
So you couldn't write your essay?
Yes! She was swelling and decaying badly!


What did you do this weekend?
We went to a Karaoke bar.
Did you sing?
Yes. I was shy but I strongly did it.
What did you sing?
"You are the wind beneath my wigs."

Funny Weather Mistakes

This morning, I was walking outside,
when suddenly a big shower fell on me!


Today the waiter is cold and wet and a little windy.


When a volcan explodes, millions
of tons of larva can bury a city.


I was very tired last night 
so my friend let me crash into his apartment.


We have a big problem at my house.
What is it?
Our toilet is out of odor. I'm a little upset.


My mother is an inferior decorator.

My father is a highly rank
government official.

My mother wants me to marry a good, successful man, 
but I want to marry my boyfriend.


My father has to wear expensive 
business dresses to work everyday.


I always ate lunch at school.
But every day my mother made me suffer.

My father is one of my favorite parents.


Last night, when I ate dinner I started joking.
My friend hit my back very hard
until I stopped.
I was so lucky he was there!


My shoes smell bad.  
I think they have athletes food in them.


My leg has been breaking for three weeks.


I probably should have gone to the doctor
one ear ago.

How To Sky Dive in the Ocean


I know how to sky dive in the ocean.


You have to put big bottles on your back 
so you can have good breath.


You should have big rubber feet.


At this time, put the glass over your face 
so your eyes don’t get salted.


Then you can jump on the ocean.


Try not to get water in your snozzle.


This is how you can drown in water without being dangerous.


Unfortunately, the school board was forced to
cut fifteen percent off all teachers.

Every day I study hardly.

If I study really hard, I will graduate in 2004 years.

I am studied hard in science class.


Do you like this food?
I made it from scratching!

I never liked mushrooms,
but now they are starting to grow in me.


My friends visited last night and 
we served a nice pig dinner.


Are you hungry? I have dirty toes.
You have what?
Dirty toes. In my back pack.
Um, can you spell that?
Maybe D-O-R-I-T-O-S. Do you
Want to try one?
No thanks. I'm not so hungry
right now.


Next, Put the cabbages in salt water.
Then sit in the sink until the morning.


Don't forget to insult the soup.


I really believe our wedding will last until we die.

What does it mean: 
"I would like to propose to some toast?"

If he is really the best man, 
why isn't she marrying him instead?

The groom was wearing
A very nice croissant.

He was so nervous, he suddenly started 
to paint in front of everybody!

He lifted the veal off her face
and gave her a big kiss.

I think she is really glad she got marinated.

Other Funny Mistakes

He had such a worm heart.

The deafened ant entered the court room.

He will spend at least fifty years going to a prison


Once I tripped all the way to Hawaii.

Do you believe in Cod?


Our church has smaller members every week.


How far should I tip the driver?

 © 2005

Funny English for Kids and Students: Home

Funny Signs from Around the World

Funny Mistakes from New English Language Students

Funny Newspaper Headlines  

Funny Courtroom Transcripts

Funny English Quizzes 

 Bell, the Animated Speaking Chatbot

InnocentEnglish.com Gold bar