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Funny Pickup Lines: Best pick-up lines ever
Funny Pickup Line Song!!
Cute, Stupid, Dumb and Funny Pickup Lines: Best really funny pick up lines. Here is a collection of some of the best cheesy, funny, stupid, bad and sweet pickup lines.
Here is a collection of dumb and funny and cheesy and bad pickup lines and chat up lines. Remember, InnocentEnglish.com can’t be held responsible for any drinks thrown in your face when you try to use some of these. Funny pickup lines aren’t always the ones that give you the desired result! If you do use any, good luck! And please add your own Funny Pickup Lines and Chat Up Lines at the bottom. But take a minute to see if someone else already posted it…
Here they are: Some good pickup lines: (and we use the word “good” pretty loosely here…)
I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can sure make your bed rock!
Is your dad a thief or something? Because someone stole the stars and put them into your eyes!
I’ve heard sex is a killer. Want to die happy?
Excuse me, but I’m new in town, can I have directions to your place?
Can I buy you a drink – or would you just prefer the five bucks?
I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
I wish I were a tear so i could start in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?
You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot.
You know what would look great on you? Me.
Can I read your T shirt in brail?
Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
I think I need to call heaven because they’ve lost one of their angels.
Is your name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get!
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
The body is made up of 90% water and I’m thirsty.
Baby you must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night!
Are you an overdue book? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you!
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice- can I get your number?
I have Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?
That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
You know, winning the lottery doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.
If I had a garden I’d put your tulips and my tulips together.
What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.
If you were a new sandwich at Mcdonalds, you’de be called McGorgeous.
All those curves! And me with no brakes!
Can I even get a fake number?
You’ll do.
And more funny pick up lines:
Excuse me for interrupting and I’m not trying to make a pass, but you must be leaving the country if you’re packing that much ass.
You might as well sleep with me because I’m going to tell everyone we did anyway!
Your mom was pretty good, so i figured you would be too.
I would say God bless you but it looks like he already did.
It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out.
Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else.
Damn, I’m glad I’m not blind!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
If I told you you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?
You look like my second wife! And I’ve only been married once!
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk past you again?
If you were Sprite, I’d obey my thirst!
Excuse me can I borrow a quarter, it is an emergency. My mom told me to giver her a call the first time I fell in love.
I lost my number, can I have yours?
Let’s make like fabric softner and snuggle
Do you like bananas or blueberries? Why? I wanna know what kind of pancackes to make in the morning.
Hey baby. Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m not a poet, but damn girl, you’re hot!
Hi there. Inheriting 50 million dollars doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.
Page topic: Some of the best and worst pickup lines: Good, bad, cheesy and sweet pick up lines and chat up lines for picking up a girl or guy at a bar…
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January 8th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
Hey cucumber can I get your number
Hey zuqini take off your bikini
Hey are you wearing space pants because your ass is out of this world
January 14th, 2008 at 3:04 am
Did you just fart?? …Cause you blew me away!
January 16th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
Do you work at subway??? because you just gave me a footlong!!!
January 16th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
are you from tennessee? because your the only ten i see!!!
January 17th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
You have 206 bones in your body. Do you want another one?
January 17th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
Can i get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?
January 18th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
if one of your legs was christmas, and the other thanksgiving, …. [Sorry Ethan. The rest was removed by moderator...]
January 18th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
if you where my home work, I’d do you on the table.
January 18th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
do you like eggs ;)
January 18th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Is your name Gillete? Because you’re the best a man can get!
January 19th, 2008 at 8:03 am
I’ll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle!
January 20th, 2008 at 4:13 am
did u get that body at mcdonalds? becos ‘im lovin it’.
is your name CAMBELL? cos ur ‘MMM MMM GOOD!’
January 21st, 2008 at 9:19 pm
do you know cpr? cuz you just took my breath away.
January 22nd, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Do you have a mirror in your pocket?
cause i swear i see myself in your pants!
January 23rd, 2008 at 10:45 pm
u turn my software to hardware
January 23rd, 2008 at 10:54 pm
Excuse me, Do you have a band-aid?
Because i cut my knee when i fell for you.
January 25th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
(Fall in front of a girl) Wow, I’ve never fallen for a girl like you before
January 26th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
do you diliver peoples mail, because i dont want to surprise you with my package
January 26th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
well here i am. what are your other two wishes?
January 27th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Excuse me…do you have a band-aid? Because i think i scraped my knee when i fell for you…
January 28th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
*rubs her back*
I thought angles had wings.
January 29th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
I don’t know how to say this but
I think you have stolen my heart
January 29th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
is your father an alien? cause you’re outta this world!
if this were a meat factory, you’d be prime rib.
i’ve heard milk is good for the body, but DAMN how much did you drink!?
January 30th, 2008 at 9:27 am
Do you have any irish in you? Would you like some?
January 31st, 2008 at 1:07 am
Do u kno y the sky is so gray today? no. because all the blue is in ur eyes.
i must be a snowflake b/c i’m falling for u.
is ur dad a baker, b/c u have some great buns!
im gonna come out and say this, let’s go #%&@*
January 31st, 2008 at 2:55 pm
so u work for ups cuz i could of sworn i seen u looking at my package
January 31st, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Hey i really wanna do it with you, get all hot and sweaty and listen to each other breathe hard……so…..wanna go running?
February 2nd, 2008 at 7:41 pm
how do you like your egg’s in the morning? fertilized?
i love your outfit but think it would look alot better on my bedroom floor
February 3rd, 2008 at 12:28 am
if i told u that u had a hot body will you hold it against me
February 3rd, 2008 at 2:33 am
you smell. lets shower
February 4th, 2008 at 6:48 am
have itwith me tonight ohhhh yeahhhhhhhh
February 4th, 2008 at 7:13 am
god, heaven gone to sh*t since u left.
February 5th, 2008 at 9:00 am
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again.
Should i call you in the morning or just nudge you.
February 5th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
can i have your picture, so i can show santa what i want for christmas?
February 5th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
do you do karate? cause your body is kickin!
February 6th, 2008 at 9:23 am
WOW! These are GRREAT pick up lines….i know i would fall for them, good job guys!:)
February 6th, 2008 at 9:24 am
Lets make like fabric softner and snuggle!
February 7th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
wow thats a tall class of water .. and im thirsty
February 7th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Why don’t you come sit on my lap and talk about whatever pops up?
February 7th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Oh baby, you turn my floppy disk into a hard drive.
February 8th, 2008 at 12:49 am
you must be a mathematician because boy you do a great root
February 8th, 2008 at 12:50 am
did you just come from a post-office because damn you have a big package
February 8th, 2008 at 12:52 am
well theres the exit…will u go out with me?
February 8th, 2008 at 8:23 am
is your dad a baker, because you got hot bunns
February 8th, 2008 at 8:24 am
hey travis my dads a baker, you wanna tiuch my bunns.
February 8th, 2008 at 9:14 am
Use at beer and liquor store or bar… You know, I don’t really drink; I only come in here so much to see you
February 8th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
My lips are skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?
February 9th, 2008 at 12:49 am
are you stalking me cuz that would be super
February 9th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Are you a vacuum cleaner cause you really suck
Are you an alarm clock cause you opened my eyes.
are you corn cause you stalking me
are you Jamaican cause your Jamaican me crazy
February 11th, 2008 at 12:11 am
do u like sleeping…
so do I, lets do it together sometime
February 11th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
u r the aple of my heart and everytime i sees ur eyes wants 2 make me cry…thinking u r my pontential wife
February 11th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
my name isnt elmo, but you could tickle me anyday lol no jk seriously
February 11th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Are you from Tennessee?Cause You’re the only ten I see.
February 12th, 2008 at 8:54 am
What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.
February 12th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
(check her shirt tag) yep…just what i thought made from heaven
February 12th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
i put the STD in stud now all i need is u
February 12th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
I’m easy, are you?
Guy: My magic watch says that you don’t have on any underwear. Girl: I do Guy: Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast
I may not be mr. right, but i’ll do you till he shows up.
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
[The rest are under "crude pick up lines"]
February 12th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
i really like your peaches, and wanna shake your tree.
February 12th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
Want to make an easy 50 bucks?
February 13th, 2008 at 7:50 am
i love all these pick up lines…i know that i would fall for all of them if someone had said them to me….they are great!!!!
February 13th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?
Baby, I’m like Taco Bell. I’ll spice up your nite.
Are you a zoo? Because you bring the animal out in me.
You’re not the best looking thing here tonite. But really, beauty is only a light switch away.
Are you a magician? Because ever time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
February 14th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
I wish you were my homework so i could do you on the table
February 14th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
If you were a booger, I’d pick ya’.
February 14th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
IF I WAS A FLY ID BE ALL UP ON U CAUSE YOUR THE SH*T
February 15th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Is god missing an angel?? Because he sent me down here looking for you!
February 15th, 2008 at 9:01 am
Hi. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
Hey, didn’t you hear? The modeling convention was changed to tomorrow.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the cash?
Hi. So, smile if you want to sleep with me.
February 15th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
OMG THESE PICK UP LINES ARE AAAAAAMMMMAZZZING!!! I MEAN GOSH WHO WOULDNT FALL FOR THESE!!
THIS TOTTALLLY IMPROVED MY GAME AND LOVE LIFE
THANKS A MILLION!!
EMMA
February 16th, 2008 at 12:40 am
Are you a parking ticket?
Cause you got FINE FINE FINE
written all over you!!
February 16th, 2008 at 12:41 am
Its a good thing i have m library card.
Cause im totally checkin you out!!
February 16th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Do you know why I cant see any stars tonight ? – You outshine them.
February 16th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Let’s save water. Let’s shower together.
February 16th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
screw me if im wrong, but havent we met befor?
hey i know u, u r the person with a beautiful smile!
what winks and is like a jackhammar gir:What guy:(wink)
how do u get 10lb outta fly? (unzip pants)
i envy ur lipstick, can u put some on me?
February 17th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
MAN:Do you wanna dance? Girl:NO MAN:Sorry i guess u didnt hear me correctly i said you look fat in those pants
If u were a booger id pick u first
I noticed u noticing me so i just wanted to put u on notice that i noticed u too
February 19th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
you wanna know what I want to do in my life? replys ” what ” you…
February 20th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
hey, do u have some time to spare?? (why?), coz i wamna hit on u!
February 21st, 2008 at 6:21 am
Did you know your like my blood your A+ and always in my heart
February 21st, 2008 at 8:16 pm
hey r u an angel because i called heaven when i saw u and they said i am in need of a gardian angle.
February 21st, 2008 at 8:30 pm
i’m blind, can you hold my stick and show me where to go?
February 22nd, 2008 at 10:57 pm
are you tired? because you’ve been running through my mind all day.
February 25th, 2008 at 1:41 am
Do you like fruits?
because your the apple of my eye.
My neck hurts..
because as soon as you walked by i whipped my head!
February 25th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Here i will make things easy. I’ll give you my phone and i’ll call you
February 26th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Roses are red pickles are green I love your legs and everything in between
February 27th, 2008 at 10:14 am
do you like jumping high bars….. cus my bar just went up!!!!
February 27th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
If you were my homework right now,i’d be doing you on the table.
February 29th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Have I seen you before? Oh yeah! I saw you in the dictionary next to the word KABLAM!!!
February 29th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Your the pan to my hog dogs
March 3rd, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Do u work for Cingular? Cuz you’re raising my bar.
March 3rd, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Ia that a mirror in your pocket cause i see myself in your pants
March 4th, 2008 at 7:51 am
Is your dad a baker? no why? Cuz your a cutie pie!
March 4th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
do u have a raisin? how bouta date?
March 4th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
someone pass me the tartor sauce, cuz ur quite the catch!!
March 4th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
if u were a screen door…id slam you all the time
March 4th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Lets play house. You be the door and I’ll slam you.
March 4th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
do u wash ur panties in windex cuz i can sure see myself in them.
you be my dairy queen and ill be your burger king. you treat me rite and ill do it your way!
March 5th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Are You tired? (Person says “Why”) Because You’ve been running through my mind all day.
March 5th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Did it hurt??? When you fell from the sky.
March 7th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Got me? I’ll do your body good.
Ever since I met you, you’ve lived in my heart without paying any rent
March 8th, 2008 at 12:12 am
did you eat lucky charms for breakfast? because you look magically delicious.
if you were a pirate, would you want the bird on this shoulder(touch closest shoulder) or this one(wrap your arm around and touch other shoulder)?
March 8th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
u be the door, lock me out and ill bang on it
March 8th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Omg..Let’s play house, you can be the screen door and I’ll slam YOU ALL night! :] (Yeah, you know you want it!xD)
March 9th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
do you want to be my dirty little secret?
March 9th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
step away from the bar please, your melting all the ice.
March 11th, 2008 at 11:17 am
What Pick-up line actually works on you?
(repeat line)
March 11th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
My love for you is like diareah, I can’t hold it in.
March 11th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
If I were to follow you home, would you keep me? Feed me? Pet me? Would you do me till you are sleepy?
[slightly edited by admin]
March 11th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
If you get taken by a large man its only cause i asked santa for you.
March 12th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Ive Got some Skittles in my mouth, Wanna taste The Rainbow?
March 13th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Did you get those jeans on sale? Because at my house their 100% off.
March 13th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
lemme check that tag… yup made in heaven
March 14th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
Hi, I’m Fun. I don’t think you’ve had me yet.
March 16th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Have i seen u befor ………….
in the dictionary right next to kazammmmmmmmmmm
im an astronaut and my next mission is to go to uranis
do you have a map because im lost in your eyes
damb girl
i wish u were corn so i could grow a whole field of yalllll
some girl named jasmine
guy:wats ur name girl:im jasmine guy:ohhh im aladin
March 16th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Well, I’m kind of a big deal
March 17th, 2008 at 4:55 am
what would you do if i kiss you?
guy: i’m invincible can you see me? girl: yes. guy: how about tomorrow.
you know what would make this rose look pretty? if you wear it.
March 17th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.
March 19th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
guy: is your dad a thief GIRL: no GUY: well then who put those diamonds in your eyes
March 19th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Is your name Campbells because you’re mm mm good.
March 19th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Are your parents terrorists because you’re the bomb.
March 21st, 2008 at 3:54 am
Wanna go behind a rock and get a little boulder?
Nice shoes wanna f***?
Those earrings are nice., but they’d look better on my night stand in the morning!
March 21st, 2008 at 6:52 am
u turn me on like a lightswitch
March 21st, 2008 at 10:21 am
Damn girl is yur dad a baker cause you got beautiful bunns!
March 21st, 2008 at 7:56 pm
excuse me miss, the word of the day is legs, lets go back to my place and spread the word
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:12 pm
YOur Dad must have been a TERRORIST….because you’re the BOMB
March 24th, 2008 at 11:53 am
do u play the trumpet cuz your makin me whorny
March 25th, 2008 at 6:47 am
Hello, My name is Doyle. And these wonderful pick-up lines have spiced up my sex life and love life by a great deal :D
March 25th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Do you work at little ceasers?? because your hot and I’m ready.
March 25th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
hey,wanna have sex?
March 25th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
hey, lets be like nike, just do it.
March 25th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
i wish u where a screen door so i could slam u all day long.
lets do math add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:38 am
hey u guys have great ass pick up lines! hahahahahaha
March 26th, 2008 at 9:39 am
check this out lol its a funny ass one!
”if u were a pokemon i’d choose you…
March 26th, 2008 at 9:42 am
excuse me miss im sorry to bother you but i really had to come by cuz i really wanna know your name…
to the guys<— use this line and trust me it wont startle or scare them away haha
March 26th, 2008 at 9:47 am
hey u look familiar, oh yea I read about you in a dictionary, u were the definition of fine.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:48 am
If i followed the rainbow will i get u in the end?
March 26th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
if i gave you a sexy negligee would there be anything in it for me?
My names Mike, but you can call me tonight
March 26th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Do You Work For UPS?
No Why?
Because I Noticed You’re Checkin’ Out My Package
March 26th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Hey baby, if you were a booger i’d pick u first.
March 27th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Wats Cookin Good Lookin???
March 27th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Hey, wanna play Paul Revere and ride my pony?
March 27th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Hey are you the reason for global warming because you are HOTT!
March 28th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
(Carry a screw around in your pocket)
(Pull it out in front of a fine girl and say)
“Hey, look at that… wanna screw?”
March 28th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
lets do math. add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and multiply!
March 28th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
I was looking back to see
if you were looking back at me
to see if I was looking back at you
looking back at me!
March 29th, 2008 at 9:20 am
you must be a parking ticket, because you got FINE written all over you!
March 29th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
is ur name cingular? cuz ur raising my bar
March 29th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
my love for you is like diarea i just cant hold it in
March 30th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
I Lost My Teddy Bear, Will you sleep with me?
March 31st, 2008 at 9:44 am
Did you have lucky charms this morning? Because you are looking magically delicious.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:48 am
When your driving on the road, and you need to drop a load………… DIAREA! (clap clap) DIAREA! (clap clap)
March 31st, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Hey, Why don’t you sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up!
April 1st, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Bang me if im wrong, but is your name Amanda??
April 1st, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Guy:Does your bed get cold on one side at night? Blonde Girl: yes..
Guy: Well i will come over about 10pm and fix it
April 1st, 2008 at 9:08 pm
i wanna sex you!
April 1st, 2008 at 9:09 pm
oo oh girl lean back oooh ya gots a mean rack
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:26 am
hey… wanna do it.. i’ll give you cookies….please!?
come to the dark side…we have condoms…
April 2nd, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Excuse me, but could you help me with my phone?
I can’t get it to work, I think it needs your number.
April 4th, 2008 at 10:13 am
Excuse me, can I have my breath back? Cause, girrrl, you took it away!
April 4th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
April 5th, 2008 at 1:50 am
nice pick-up lines huh!!! =)) love it!
April 6th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Good thing I’m not flammable because your smokin hot
April 6th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
do you like water?(yes)then you already like 70 percent of me
April 6th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
if you were a buger id pick you first
April 6th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
if u held 6 roses in front of a mirror ud see 7 of the most beautiful things in da world
April 8th, 2008 at 9:37 am
do you have a ninja in your pants because your ass is kicking.
April 8th, 2008 at 11:34 am
“Nice legs, When do they open?”
April 8th, 2008 at 11:45 am
u know what would look good on u…… Me
April 11th, 2008 at 4:05 am
my names not elmo,, but you can tickle me anytime you want to :)
April 11th, 2008 at 4:14 am
my name may not be frd flinstone,, but i sure can make your bed rock. :)
April 11th, 2008 at 5:49 am
yaa all is corney
April 11th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Hi iam (your name)and your cute (actually worked for me twice)
I have a flashdrive, can I plug it into you real quick?
April 12th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
(thorws random thing at girl) girl:what the hell guy: i just thought this would be a funny thing to tell are kids how we met
April 14th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
good thing i have my library card cuz im checkin u out
April 14th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
im a pirate and im lookin for me treasur can i look around your chest
April 15th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
You know your like a keg right? ‘Cause i want to tap you alll night long.
April 15th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
ok, so i’m gonna ask you to dance and your gonna say yes and then we are gonna go back to one of our places and fall in love and then we’ll get married and have kids but then you’ll get upset that i “spend to much time at work” and accuse me of cheating on you and we’re gonna fight and then get a divorce and have to explain to the kids why mommmy and daddy are getting a divorce so let’s just save ourselves loads of time and trouble. wanna have meaningless sex?
April 16th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Did you know that there’s 215 bones in the human body? Wanna make it 216?
April 18th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
April 19th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
I’m like a clock and your the batteries. without you my world would end!
April 20th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
hey nice legs, what time do they open.
April 21st, 2008 at 3:56 pm
you got nice legs…
when do they open
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Exucse me, do you have a keg in your pants? cause i wanna tap that ass.
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:11 pm
You a vet cause these pupies are sick
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Hey see my friend over there? They want to know if you think i am cute.
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:08 pm
boy: i wish u were a screen door….
gurl: why??
boy: so i can SLAMM U ALL DAY LONG
April 23rd, 2008 at 6:30 am
hey can you please scratch my back….my arms are far too muscular for me to reach
April 23rd, 2008 at 6:30 am
hey…I like the way your body looks!
April 23rd, 2008 at 6:32 am
go over to girl and point to a friend in the distance and say: “see my friend over there?…..yeah wee he wants to know if you’ll kiss me?
April 23rd, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Your parents must’ve been bakers cause you’ve got a nice set of buns.
Did you hear the latest health report? You need to up your daily intake of vitamin me.
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
If I had a nickel for every time I saw a woman as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.