(Or is it shame?) Classic Funny Signs From Around the World (These are the best of those oldies but goodies that have been floating around emails, forums and websites for years. Are they all real? We can't know for sure, but it is very likely th...
Steven Wright is one of a kind. His unique mind has come up with some classic one-liners. Some of them have even become part of pop culture. His dead-pan delivery and ultra-mellow style, mixed with some real mind-bending one-liners- some of...
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.
I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any...
  These are some of the best sport quotes and bloopers mistatements:   "Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean."
-Pedro Guerrero, on sportswriters
"Sure. I'm proud to be an American."
-Cincinnati Reds rookie pitcher Steve Fos...
1) Golden eagles have an interesting way of mating, where they connect in the air while flying at eighty miles an hour and then they start dropping and they don't stop dropping until the act is completed. So it's not uncommon that they both fal...
  Here are some funny bloopers and quotes from famous politicians and celebrities:   "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay...
These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book.Food
Do you like this food?
I made it from scratching!
I never liked mushrooms,
but now they are starting to grow in me....
Bushisms: Funniest Mistakes, Blunders, Bloopers and quotes by George W. Bush
(A very funny video of Bushisms) http://www.youtube.com/v/Xq956JmU1LE
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking...
A scientific survey in 2002 attempted to find the funniest joke in the world. Thousands of people from dozens of countries voted on thousands of jokes. Each country had a different favorite. Overall, the number one and number two funniest j...
These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book.DATING
That night, we went skin dipping- Just the two of us!
You mean you went skinny dipping?
It is called skinny dipp...
These are some really funny and amazing anagrams: The earthquakes: That queer shake
Debit card: Bad credit
Slot machines: Cash lost in 'em
School master: The classroom
Dormitory: Dirty room
Desperation: A rope ends it
The Morse code: Here...
Warning: These are deliberately some of the worst, most painful, most terrible and most awful analogies ever written!
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse...
  These are a few of the best funny celebrity bloopers, slips and stories:   One day on the set of Tomorrow Never Dies, Pierce Brosnan confronted Teri Hatcher about her tardiness. "I let slip a few words which weren’t very nice,†he recal...
  Here are some funny celebrity quotes   When I was growing up, there were two things that were unpopular in my house. One was me, and the other was my guitar
Bruce Springsteen
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives. Maurice C...
Silly, weird and strange country songs
I Wouldn't Take Her To a Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
She Feels Like A New Man Tonight
I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up)
I'm The Only Hell Mama E...
Humorous, silly, stupid and weird classified ads from newspapers and magazines
Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
We build bodies that last a l...
Based on Actual Court Room Transcripts of Trials.
How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney? Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney, and said he was really good.
Do you know how far pregnant you are right now? I will b...
2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.
Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in ap...
Bloopers based on Actual Court Room Transcripts and Trial Records.
Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? By death. And by whose death was it terminated?
Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods? No, I said he was shot i...
  Here are a few one-liners from comics and comedians   Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There sho...
