Funny Bloopers from Native Speakers
Funny headlines, stupid quotes, Bushisms, celeb bloopers, courtroom and doctor chart bloopers, funny test answers and other funny mistakes from native English speakers.
Funny English from Around the World
Funny English mistakes and bloopers, signs, labels, menus, movie captions, student bloopers and more.
<< Riddles 33 | Riddles 31 >>
Past the Equator
Sue is traveling by ship from south of the equator to the north. She has a nice little cabin with a bathroom, but no window. Sue has no compass nor other instruments. Just the general luggage one brings on board a long cruise. Yet, without leaving her room or talking
with anyone, Sue will be able to tell when the ship has crossed the equator. How?
Sue can fill the sink and watch it drain. When the water reverses direction when going down the drain, she will know they have crossed the equator.
Loud Loud Loud
Sometimes I am loud, and viewed with distaste. Poke out my eye, then I’m on the front of your face. What word am I?
Noise. Attribute “eye” to “I”.
Unite or Divide
Soldiers line up spaced with pride, Two long rows lined side by side. One sole unit can decide, If the rows will unite or divide. Tell me, tell me, scream it
out. What’s the thing I talk about?
Six glasses are in a row. The first three are filled with milk, and the last three are empty. By moving only one glass, can you arrange them so that the full and the empty glasses alternate?
Pick up the second glass and pour the milk into the fifth glass and then put it back in the second position.
Walking Versus Running
Since a person uses about the same amount of energy walking 2 miles as they would running for 2 miles, would a person use more energy running for 10 minutes, walking for ten minutes, or the same amount of energy?
Since a person running for 10 minutes would cover more distance than that same person would walking for 10 minutes, he would use more energy running for 10 minutes.
One Scratch From Me
Shoot at me a thousand times and I may still survive; one scratch from me and you will find your prospects take a dive. What am I?
Tomatoes or Avocadoes
I like indigo but not blue, I like onions but not turnips, I like forms but not shapes.According to the same rule, do I like tomatoes or avocados?
Avocadoes – I like all things that start with a preposition.
Round I start, yet no shape have I. Allow me to breathe, and my life will die. The older I grow, the more sought after I become. You will feel much better when I am done.
What am I?
A bottle of wine.
Peter Rabbit’s Lettuce
Peter Rabbit was starving! He came to a farmer’s lettuce garden but it was surrounded by a picket fence. Peter knew he must eat soon or he would die. He could barely fit through the fence in his present condition and he knew that if he entered and ate the lettuce he would be unable to fit back through the fence. If the farmer happened to come by he could not
escape. The lettuce was too large too fit through the fence. How could Peter eat the lettuce and still manage to escape if the need arose?
Peter crawled through the fence and brought the lettuce back to the edge of the fence. He squeezed back through the fence to the outside and proceeded to feast.
Pat Smith gives someone a dollar. Pat is this person’s brother, but the person is not Pat’s brother. How can that be?
It’s Pat’s sister.
One morning a man is leaving on business trip and finds he left some paperwork at his office. He runs into his office to get it and the night watchman stops him and says, “Sir, don’t get on the plane. I had a dream last night that the plane would crash and everyone would die!” The man takes his word and cancels his trip. Sure enough, the plane crashes and
everyone dies. The next morning the man gives the watchman a $1,000 reward for saving his life and then fires him. Why did he fire the watchman that saved his life?
He was fired for sleeping on the job!
Bad Mr. Fiend
Old Mr. Tidy was found dead in his study by Mr. Fiend. Mr. Fiend recounted his dismal discovery to the police. “I was walking by Mr. Tidy`s house when I thought I would just pop in for a visit. I noticed his study light was on and I decided to peek in from the outside to see if he was in there. There was frost on the window, so I had to wipe it away to see
inside. That is when I saw his body. So I kicked in the front door to confirm my suspicions of foul play. I called the police immediately afterward.” The officer immediately arrested Mr. Fiend for the murder of Mr. Tidy. How did he know Mr. Fiend was lying?
Frost forms on the inside of the window, not the outside. So Mr. Fiend could not have wiped it off to discover Mr. Tidy`s body.
Often held but never touched, always wet but never rusts, often bites but seldom bit, to use me well you must have wit.What am I?
Nick the Marathon Man
Nick timed himself and found out that if he wore a bright white outfit he ran 20 miles in 80 minutes, but when he wore a dark outfit, he ran 20 miles in one hour and twenty minutes. What does this mean for his next race?
Nothing, as 80 minutes equals an hour and twenty minutes.
Part carbon, part water, I am poison to the fishes. Many have falsely claimed my name, for I am the pause that refreshes. What am I?
I am Soda Pop!
He and He
Name an English word of more than 2 letters that both begins and ends with the letters “he” in that order. There are two possible answers.
Headache or Heartache.
Kst in the Middle
Name an eight letter word that has kst in the middle, in the beginning, and at the end.
Inkstand – kst is in the middle. “In” is the beginning, and “and” ends the word.
Name a five letter word which has three consonants all the same and two different vowels. Every now and then you see this while running a Windows 95/98 on your PC.
Error! Error! Error!
Name 3 things that have eyes, yet cannot see.
Needle. Storm. Potato.
My thunder rolls beneath me, my lightning flares above. I dust the crust, and when I bust, all I touch will I shove.What am I?
I am a Volcano.
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Section: Riddles and Brain Teasers