Funny Bloopers from Native Speakers
Funny headlines, stupid quotes, Bushisms, celeb bloopers, courtroom and doctor chart bloopers, funny test answers and other funny mistakes from native English speakers.
Funny English from Around the World
Funny English mistakes and bloopers, signs, labels, menus, movie captions, student bloopers and more.
<< Riddles 26| Riddles 24 >>
You have 14 brown socks, 14 blue socks and 14 black socks in your sock drawer. How many socks must you remove (without looking to be sure) to have a matched pair?
Four. You will have a pair of one color or another.
Cost of the Stopper
If a cork and a bottle cost $2.10 and the bottle costs $2.00 more than the stopper, then what does the stopper cost?
Five Cents. Bottle: $2.05.
The Wise Daughter
Many years ago, a wealthy old man was near death. He wished to leave his fortune to one of his three children. The old man wanted to know that his fortune would be in wise hands. He stipulated that his estate would be left to the child who would sing him half as many songs as days that he had left to live.The
eldest son said he couldn’t comply because he didn’t know how many days his father had left to live, and besides he was too busy. The youngest son said the same thing. The man ended up leaving his money to his third child, a daughter. What did his daughter do?
Every other day, the daughter sang her father a song.
Who is the Murderer?
There are five acquaintances. One of them shot and killed one of the other five. Which man is the murderer?1. Dan ran in the NY City marathon yesterday with one of the innocent men. 2. Mike considered being a farmer before he moved to the city. 3. Jeff is a top-notch
computer consultant and wants to install Ben?s new computer next week. 4. The murderer had his leg amputated last month. 5. Ben met Jack for the first time six months ago. 6. Jack has been in seclusion since the
crime. 7. Dan used to drink heavily. 8. Ben and Jeff built their last computers together. 9. The murderer is Jack’s brother; they grew up together in Seattle.
1. Jack is not the murderer, because he is the brother of the murderer. 2. Dan can’t be the murderer since he ran a marathon, and the murderer recently had his leg amputated, and wouldn?t be running a marathon of any magnitude that quickly. 3. Ben is not the
murderer if he just met Jack, since Jack and the murderer grew up together. 4. This leaves Jeff and Mike. Since Jeff is still alive (he wants to install a new computer next week, present tense) he must be the murderer. Mike also didn’t grow up with Jack.It has been determined that Jack, Dan and Jeff are all alive. Ben must also be alive since Jeff
plans to install Ben?s computer next week. This means that Jeff killed Mike.
Pumpkins or Apples?
Lynn likes grapes but not potatoes. She likes squash but not lettuce, and she likes peas but not onions. Following the same rule, will she like pumpkins or apples?
Pumpkins. Lynn only likes things that grow on vines.
Rounds of Golf
Robert and David played several golf matches against each other in a week. They played for a pizza at each match, but no pizzas were purchased until the end of the week. If at any time Robert and David had the same number of wins, those pizzas were canceled. Robert won four matches (but no pizzas), and David won three pizzas. How many rounds of golf were
Eleven, David won 7 matches, 4 to cancel out Robert’s 4 wins, and 3 more to win the pizzas.
There are two bars of iron. One bar is magnetized along its length, while the other is not. Using just the two bars, without any other items, how can you tell which bar is magnetized and which bar is not?
Take the two bars, and put them together like a T. (Put one bar horizontally across and center the vertical bar under it.) Bar #1 is the top of the “T” and bar #2 is the vertical bar.If they stick together, then bar #2 is the magnet. If they don’t, bar #1 is the magnet.
Bar magnets are “dead” in their centers and there is no magnetic force, since the two poles cancel out. So, if bar #1 is the magnet, then bar #2 won’t stick to its center.
However, bar magnets are quite “alive” at their edges and the magnetic force is concentrated. If bar #2 is the magnet, bar #1 will stick to it.
David is throwing Robert a surprise birthday party but he has to stay within his budget. He spent half of his money plus $2.00 on the cake. Half of what he had left plus $2.00 was spent on balloons and streamers. Then he spent half of what he had left plus $1.00 on candy. Now he is out of money, how much did he start with?
This one is best solved working backwards, the last part David spent half of what was left plus $1.00 on candy and then was out of money. That means he must have spent $2.00 on Candy as $1.00 was half of what he had using the same logic backwards:$2.00 on candy $6.00 on Balloons and
Streamers $12.00 on the cake
Total of $20.00.
Name of the Engineer
A train goes between Chicago and New York. The brakeman, the fireman and the engineer are named Smith, Jones and Brown. (The names are not necessarily in order). There are also three passengers named Mr. Smith, Mr. Jones and Mr. Brown. Mr. Brown lives in New York. The brakeman lives halfway between New York and Chicago. Mr. Jones earns exactly $20,000 per
year. Smith beat the fireman at their last game of golf. The passenger who lives in Chicago has the same name as the brakeman. The brakeman’s next door neighbor is a passenger on this train and earns exactly three times as much as the brakeman. What is the name of the engineer?
Determine the known facts. Also notice that the passengers are noted with the title Mr., where as the brakeman, engineer and fireman are identified by their last names only.1. Mr Brown Lives in New York City 2. The brakeman lives midway between NY and Chicago 3.
Mr. Jones earns exactly $20K per year 4. Smith beat the fireman at their last game of golf. 5. The brakeman’s next-door neighbor, who is a passenger, earns exactly three times the brakeman’s salary. 6. The passenger who lives in Chicago has the same name as
According to #1 and #2, the brakeman’s neighbor cannot be Mr. Brown. According to #5, the brakeman’s neighbor also cannot be Mr. Jones, because $20,000 is not evenly divisible by three. This leaves Mr. Smith as the next door neighbor to the brakeman. Mr. Smith lives halfway between New York and Chicago (#2) as does the brakeman. Since Mr. Brown lives in New York, by process of elimination, it
is now known that Mr. Jones lives in Chicago. According to statement #6, this means that the brakeman is named Jones.
According to statement #4, the fireman cannot be Smith, so the fireman must be must be Brown, which leaves Smith as the engineer.
Wedding Shower Present
Janie?s friends were chipping in to buy her a wedding shower present. At first, 10 friends chipped in, but 2 of them dropped out. Each of the 8 had to chip in another dollar to bring the amount back up. How much money did they plan to collect?
$40 (10 at $4, or 8 at $5).
Detective Marty had been trailing three men suspected of committing several fur robberies. He received a message in a sealed envelope delivered by Roscoe, an underworld contact and decided to call Detective Sam, his partner. “I think I found out where the merchandise
is stored,” said Detective Marty. Obviously Marty didn’t want Roscoe to know what was in the envelope, so he read it to Sam in code. This is what Marty had said:”Flame mate weighty soak shave comedy debut stake scared.”
What did the message say?
Am at Eight Oak Ave, come but take care. Read through it again to see!
A, E, H, I, K, L, What are the next letters and why?
M, N, O, P, U, W. Letters in the Hawaiian alphabet.
Cannot Find It
I went into the woods and got it. I sat down to seek it. I brought it home with me because I couldn’t find it. What is it?
Repeat After Me
I say everything I hear to others around. I’m not an animal, nor part of the human race. I will, immediately, repeat after you; But only if my tail is in place. What am
I can flutter and take your breath away. I can take a beating, but do not bruise. If I stopped you would be sure to lose. Everyday I am with you. What am I?
Bees and Flowers
In a pond there are some flowers with some bees hovering over the flowers. How many flowers and bees are there if both the following statements are true:1. If each bee lands on a flower, one bee doesn’t get a flower. 2. If two bees share each flower, there is one flower left out.
4 bees and 3 flowers.
Stupid Rich Guy
A kind man comes across a dirty box, a voice says to him “Coconuts, $5 a dozen” With his lightning quick arithmetic he calculates that if he sold those same coconuts to the coconut air assault team for the accepted rate of $3 per dozen that in no time at all he would be a millionaire. What’s with this guy, assuming his math is accurate?
He was a billionaire.
I’ve got ten or more daughters. I’ve got less than ten daughters. I’ve got at least one daughter. If only one of these statements is true, how many daughters have I got?
If I have any daughters, there will always be two statements which are true. Therefore, I have no daughters.
Orange, Silver and Purple
Other than being colors, what do the words orange, silver and purple have in common?
There is no word in the English language that rhymes with them.
Pronounced as one letter, But look and you’ll see, That really I’m written with three. I’m read from both ends, The same either way.What am I?
I am an eye, or an ewe.
Mail (will not be published)
Section: Riddles and Brain Teasers