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Today’s Quick Break: October 29, 2011:

Today’s Funny Pics

Today’s Funny Sign

More Funny Signs

Today’s Newspaper Fail

More Funny Newspaper Headlines

Pic of the Day:

More Funny Pictures

Today’s Cute Shot #1:

More Cute Pictures

Today’s Cute Shot #2:

More Animal Pictures

Funny English

Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:

What does LIMT mean?
Laugh in my tummy
What does EF4T mean?
What does GLE1 mean?
Good luck everyone (online gaming)

More Texting Abbreviations

Today’s Riddle:

Only in the Ocean:
Throw it off the highest building, and I’ll not break. But put me in the ocean, and I will. What am I?
A wave.

More Riddles

Did They Say It?

~ Did George W. Bush actually say “We ought to make the pie higher.” Yes.

~ Did George W. Bush actually say “You know we have a saying in West Texas. Actually, we have a lot of sayings. Probably half the saying you ever heard orginated there, not to put down other southern states like Georgia or Arkansas that probably use some of our sayings.” No.

Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:

Funny Student Science Mistakes:
~ “Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
~ “Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
~ “Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines

Today’s Funny Sayings

~ BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

~ I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!

Today’s Stupid Questions:

~ Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?

~ Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:

~ I played golf… I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That’s way more satisfying… — Mitch Hedberg

~ When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. — Emo Philips

Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)

~ can I have your picture, so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

~ Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!

Today’s Puns:

~ The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

~ A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’

Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:

~ You’re lyin’ like a no-legged dog!

~ I’ll whup you like a yard dawg

Today’s Jokes

~ A man walks into a bar and sees the smallest little person he had ever seen sitting on a table playing a miniature piano.
He’s fascinated and watches the man play for a few minutes, then asks the bartender, “How did you find such a tiny man to play the piano?”
The bartender replies, “I found a lamp with a genie in it who granted me one wish.”
“And you asked for a 10-inch pianist?”
“Well, not exactly.”

~ Bob couldn’t believe it — he’d made it to the last round of his favorite game show. “Congratulations, Bob,” said the emcee. “Answer correctly and you go home with five million dollars!
“This is a two-part question on American history,” he continued. “The second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like first?”
Bob figured he’d play it safe. “I think I’ll try the second part of the question first.”
The emcee nodded approvingly, while the audience was silent with anticipation.
“Okay, Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?”

Today’s Word Games

Today’s Crossword, Sukoku and Hangman:

Today’s Crossword Puzzle

Today’s Sudoku Puzzle

Today’s Hangman and other wordgames

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