Today’s Funny Pics
Today’s Funny Sign
Today’s Newspaper Fail
Pic of the Day:
Today’s Cute Shot #1:
Today’s Cute Shot #2:
Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:
Did They Say It?
Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:
Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines
Today’s Funny Sayings
Today’s Stupid Questions:
~ Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons?
~ If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:
~ I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, “What for?” I said, “I’m going to buy some sugar.” — Steven Wright
~ There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. — Steven Wright
Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)
~ Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk past you again?
~ are you tired? because you’ve been running through my mind all day.
~ Florist: “Long time no zinnia!”
~ When William joined the army he disliked the phrase ‘fire at will’.
Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:
~ madder than an old wet hen
~ It’s raining so hard the animals are starting to pair up.
~ Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, the blonde sales woman. As Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged him and let him do his thing.
Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!”
“Dear God! Did you try to stop him?”
“No,” she said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”
~ In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning, an angel apppeared before the statues and said, “Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I herby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire.”
And with that command, the statues came to life, smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes.
The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, “You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?”
The male statue looked at the female and asked, “Do you want to do it again?” Smiling, the female statue said, “Sure. But This time you hold the pigeon down and I’ll poop on it’s head!”
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Section: Quick Break