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Today’s Quick Break: October 28, 2011:

Today’s Funny Pics

Today’s Funny Sign

More Funny Signs

Today’s Newspaper Fail

More Funny Newspaper Headlines

Pic of the Day:

More Funny Pictures

Today’s Cute Shot #1:

More Cute Pictures

Today’s Cute Shot #2:

More Animal Pictures

Funny English

Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:

What does copteriss mean?
oh my *freaking* god, laugh my *a* off, owned, roll on floor spinning around I’m so sad
What does 4 mean?
Short for “for" in SMS
What does ICEDI mean?
I can’t even discuss it

More Texting Abbreviations

Today’s Riddle:

How Many Feet?:
What has one foot on each side and one in the middle?
A yardstick.

More Riddles

Did They Say It?

~ Did Pamela Anderson actually say “I don’t think about anything too much. If I think too much, it kind of freaks me out!” Yes.

~ Did George W. Bush actually say “Will the highways on the Internet become more few?” Yes.

Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:

Funny Kids’ Bible Mistakes:
~ David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, race of people who lived in Biblical times.
~ Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
~ When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines

Today’s Funny Sayings

~ Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.

~ A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Today’s Stupid Questions:

~ Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons?

~ If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:

~ I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, “What for?" I said, “I’m going to buy some sugar." — Steven Wright

~ There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. — Steven Wright

Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)

~ Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk past you again?

~ are you tired? because you’ve been running through my mind all day.

Today’s Puns:

~ Florist: “Long time no zinnia!”

~ When William joined the army he disliked the phrase ‘fire at will’.

Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:

~ madder than an old wet hen

~ It’s raining so hard the animals are starting to pair up.

Today’s Jokes

~ Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, the blonde sales woman. As Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged him and let him do his thing.
Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"
“Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"
“No," she said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"

~ In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning, an angel apppeared before the statues and said, “Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I herby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire.”
And with that command, the statues came to life, smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes.
The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, “You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?”

The male statue looked at the female and asked, “Do you want to do it again?” Smiling, the female statue said, “Sure. But This time you hold the pigeon down and I’ll poop on it’s head!”

Today’s Word Games

Today’s Crossword, Sukoku and Hangman:

Today’s Crossword Puzzle

Today’s Sudoku Puzzle

Today’s Hangman and other wordgames

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