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Today’s Quick Break: November 2, 2011:

Today’s Funny Pics

Today’s Funny Sign

More Funny Signs

Today’s Newspaper Fail

More Funny Newspaper Headlines

Pic of the Day:

More Funny Pictures

Today’s Cute Shot #1:

More Cute Pictures

Today’s Cute Shot #2:

More Animal Pictures

Funny English

Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:

What does ATSL mean?
Along the same line (or lines)
What does NSA mean?
No strings attached
What does BYOP mean?
Bring your own paint (paintball)

More Texting Abbreviations

Today’s Riddle:

The Darkroom:
There is a lamp inside a photography darkroom. When the darkroom door is closed, it is impossible to tell from outside the room whether or not the lamp is on. There are two switches outside the door of the darkroom. One or both of the switches may control the lamp. It also could be that neither of the switches control the lamp. All you know is that the light bulb is currently off and that the lamp and bulb are in working condition. The darkroom door is closed and once you open the door you cannot touch either of the switches. If you can only open the dark-room door one time, how can you tell which switches, if any, control the lamp?
Turn the first switch on and leave it on for ten minutes. After ten minutes, turn that switch off and turn the second switch on. Open the darkroom door, and lightly (in case it is hot) touch the bulb.If the lamp is on, and the bulb is quite hot, both switches work the lamp.

If the lamp is on, and the bulb is cool, the second switch controls the lamp.

If the lamp is off, and the bulb is hot, switch one controls the lamp.

If the lamp is off, and the bulb is cool, neither switch controls the lamp.

More Riddles

Did They Say It?

~ Did Sen. Fred Thompson actually say “That S.O.B. of a politician deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it!” No.

~ Did George W. Bush actually say “There’s nothing more deep than recognizing Israel’s right to exist. That’s the most deep thought of all. … I can’t think of anything more deep than that right.” Yes.

Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:

Funny Newspaper Headlines:
~ Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
~ Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
~ Miners refuse to work after death

Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines

Today’s Funny Sayings

~ When all else fails, admit i’m right and kiss my ass.

~ If at first you don’t succeed, quit; don’t be a nut about success.

Today’s Stupid Questions:

~ What’s another word for synonym?

~ Why do you feet smell and your nose runs?

Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:

~ I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright

~ Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle. — Woody Allen

Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)

~ Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

~ Did u get that body at Macdonald’s? Because ?I’m loving it’.

Today’s Puns:

~ He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.

~ Some Spanish government employees are Seville servants.

Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:

~ She is so skinny if she stuck her tongue out she would look like a zipper.

~ She’s resting in peace in the marble orchard.

Today’s Jokes

~ Two strangers, a man and a woman, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they are tired and fall asleep quickly—he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1 a.m., the man leans over and gently wakes the woman and says, “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”
“I have a better idea,” the woman replies. “Just for tonight, let’s pretend we’re married.”
“Wow! That’s a fantastic idea!” he exclaims, with a huge smile on his face.
“Good,” she replies. “Now, get your own damn blanket!”

~ Brad, a local beachgoer, couldn’t even get a second look from any of the girls on the beach. So he headed over to the lifeguard tower to see if the lifeguard had any advice for him.
“Dude, it’s obvious,” said the lifeguard. “You’re wearing those gnarly old swimming trunks that make you look like an old geezer. They’re years outta style. Your best bet is to get yourself a Speedo—say, two sizes too small—and drop a potato inside it. You’ll have all the babes you can handle.”
The following weekend, Brad hits the beach with his brand-spanking-new tight Speedo and his potato, and it’s not long before he approaches the lifeguard tower once more.
“For cryin’ out loud,” said Brad, “it’s worse than before! Everyone on the beach acts disgusted as I walk by—covering their faces, turning away, laughing! What’s wrong now?”
“Jeez, Brad!” said the lifeguard, “The potato goes in front!”

Today’s Word Games

Today’s Crossword, Sukoku and Hangman:

Today’s Crossword Puzzle

Today’s Sudoku Puzzle

Today’s Hangman and other wordgames

  |   Today's Quick Break: November 1, 2011: >>


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