Today’s Funny Sign
Today’s Newspaper Fail
Pic of the Day:
Today’s Cute Shot #1:
Today’s Cute Shot #2:
Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:
Did They Say It?
Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:
Today’s Funny Sayings
Today’s Stupid Questions:
~ Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?
~ Answer truthfully (yes or no) to the following question: Will the next word you say be ‘no’?
Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:
~ Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing. — Jack Handy
~ I didn’t know he was dead; I thought he was British. — Woody Allen
Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)
~ You’ve got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
~ (give girl sugar packet) I think you dropped your name tag!!!
~ He wears glasses during math because it improves division.
~ In middle east outdoor markets you can find bazaar items for sale.
Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:
~ He is so ugly that my mother had to tie pork chops to his ears so the dog would play with him.
~ You could start an argument in an empty house.
~ Joe, Mike, Mary, and Tom were talking about their dream jobs. “I want to be a lawyer,” Joe began, “so that I can defend my countrymen.”
“I want to be a congressman,” said Mike, “so I can draft laws to benefit my countrymen.”
“I want to be a doctor,” said Mary, “so that I can cure my countrymen.”
“How about you, Tom? What would you like to be?” asked Joe.
Tom thought a moment and replied, “I’d like to be a countryman.”
~ A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange; he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin,
“For best results, put on two coats”.
Today’s Crossword, Sukoku and Hangman:
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