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Today’s Quick Break: November 1, 2011:

Today’s Funny Pics

Today’s Funny Sign

More Funny Signs

Today’s Newspaper Fail

More Funny Newspaper Headlines

Pic of the Day:

More Funny Pictures

Today’s Cute Shot #1:

More Cute Pictures

Today’s Cute Shot #2:

More Animal Pictures

Funny English

Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:

What does INC mean?
Meaning “incoming" (online gaming)
What does JIC mean?
Just in case
What does HFAC mean?
Holy flipping animal crackers

More Texting Abbreviations

Today’s Riddle:

Endless Sea:
Large as a mountain, small as a pea,
Endlessly swimming in a waterless sea.

More Riddles

Did They Say It?

~ Did Kid Rock actually say “If I was president of the good old U.S.A., I’d turn the churches into strip clubs and watch the whole world pray.” Yes.

~ Did George W. Bush actually say “But I also made it clear to Vladimir Putin that it’s important to think beyond the old days of when we had the concept that if we blew each other up, the world would be safe.” Yes.

Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:

Funny English Subtitles from Hong Kong Movies:
~ “You daring lousy guy."
~ “Beat him out of recognizable shape!"
~ “How can you use my intestines as a gift?"

Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines

Today’s Funny Sayings

~ I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

~ “The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back." —Franklin Jones

Today’s Stupid Questions:

~ Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?

~ Answer truthfully (yes or no) to the following question: Will the next word you say be ‘no’?

Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:

~ Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing. — Jack Handy

~ I didn’t know he was dead; I thought he was British. — Woody Allen

Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)

~ You’ve got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.

~ (give girl sugar packet) I think you dropped your name tag!!!

Today’s Puns:

~ He wears glasses during math because it improves division.

~ In middle east outdoor markets you can find bazaar items for sale.

Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:

~ He is so ugly that my mother had to tie pork chops to his ears so the dog would play with him.

~ You could start an argument in an empty house.

Today’s Jokes

~ Joe, Mike, Mary, and Tom were talking about their dream jobs. “I want to be a lawyer,” Joe began, “so that I can defend my countrymen.”
“I want to be a congressman,” said Mike, “so I can draft laws to benefit my countrymen.”
“I want to be a doctor,” said Mary, “so that I can cure my countrymen.”
“How about you, Tom? What would you like to be?” asked Joe.
Tom thought a moment and replied, “I’d like to be a countryman.”

~ A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange; he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin,
“For best results, put on two coats".

Today’s Word Games

Today’s Crossword, Sukoku and Hangman:

Today’s Crossword Puzzle

Today’s Sudoku Puzzle

Today’s Hangman and other wordgames

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