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Today’s Quick Break: March 9, 2010:

Today’s Funny Pics

Today’s Funny Sign

Today’s Newspaper Fail

Pic of the Day:

Today’s Cute Shot #1:

Today’s Cute Shot #2:

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Funny English

Did They Say It?

~ Did George W. Bush actually say “One thing is clear, is relations between America and Russia are good, and they’re important that they be good.” Yes.

~ Did Bill Clinton actually say “Just try to imagine what it would be like to be 300 million years old!” Yes.

Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:

Funny School Excuse Notes:
~ Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
~ Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps
~ Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
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Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines

Today’s Funny Sayings

~ F u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.

~ Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?

Today’s Stupid Questions:

~ If humans have nightmares, what do horses have?

~ What’s another word for synonym?

Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:

~ A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. ‘You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?’ she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, ‘I didn’t know there were any witnesses. Now I’ll have to kill you too. — Jake Johansen

~ Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window? — George Carlin

Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)

~ Here I will make things easy. I’ll give you my phone and I’ll call you

~ Here I will make things easy. I’ll give you my phone and I’ll call you.

Today’s Puns:

~ Did you know that donuts were first made in Greece?

~ The poet had written better poems, but he’d also written verse.

Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:

~ It was so crowded that you couldn’t cuss the cat without getting fur in your mouth

~ He could talk the ears off an elephant!

Today’s Jokes

~ A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange; he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin,
“For best results, put on two coats”.

~ The teacher asked Mary, “If you had seven cookies and David asked you for three, how many cookies would you have left?” Mary immediately answered, “Seven!” The teacher was puzzled and asked “Why seven?” “You really think I would give David any of my cookies?”

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Today’s Word Games

Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:

What does PIC mean?
Picture
What does DHU mean?
Dinosaur hugs (used to show support)
What does NMU mean?
Not much, you?

Today’s Riddle:

Fancy Book Title:
The title of this book has been put into very fancy language. Can you name the book??The objects, or people, have been removed from their previous localities through the power of a naturally moving phenomenon.?
?Gone with the Wind?.

Today’s Crossword, Sukoku and Hangman:

Today’s Crossword Puzzle

Today’s Sudoku Puzzle

Today’s Hangman and other wordgames


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Back Page

Today’s Funny Song from Songdrops.com:

Today’s Dilbert. Here’s your daily dose of Dilbert:

Celebrity Birthdays:

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