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Today’s Quick Break: March 21, 2010:
Today’s Funny Pics
Today’s Funny Sign
Today’s Newspaper Fail
Pic of the Day:
Today’s Cute Shot #1:
Today’s Cute Shot #2:
Funny English
Did They Say It?
Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:
Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines
Today’s Funny Sayings
Today’s Stupid Questions:
~ When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
~ Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:
~ In my house I’m the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. — Woody Allen
~ There are two types of people in this world: good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. — Woody Allen
Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)
~ u turn my software to hardware
~ I’ve heard sex is a killer. Want to die happy?
Today’s Puns:
~ You didn’t hear about the three big holes in the ground? Well, well, well.
~ Florist: “Long time no zinnia!”
Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:
~ He was so nervous, he could thread a sewing machine while it was running
~ Shit or get off the pot.
Today’s Jokes
~ A man calls his mother in Florida. “Mom, how are you?”
“Not too good,” says the mother. “I’ve been very weak.”
The son says, “Why are you so weak?”
She says, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.”
The man says, “That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days?
The mother answers, “Because I didn’t want my mouth filled with food should my son finally call.”
~ Mr. Jacobs, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl’s junior college, said during class, “Miss Arnold, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions.”
Miss Arnold gasped, then said freezingly, “Mr. Jacobs, I don’t think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this.” With that she sat down red-faced.
Unperturbed, Mr. Jacobs called on Miss Jones and asked the same question.
Miss Jones, with composure, replied, “The pupil of the eye, in dim light.”
“Correct,” said Mr. Jacobs. “And now, Miss Arnold, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will someday be faced with a dreadful disappointment.”
Today’s Word Games
Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:
Today’s Riddle:
Today’s Crossword, Sukoku and Hangman:
Back Page
Today’s Funny Song from Songdrops.com:
Today’s Dilbert. Here’s your daily dose of Dilbert:
Celebrity Birthdays:
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Section: Quick Break
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