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Today’s Quick Break: March 20, 2010:
Today’s Funny Pics
Today’s Funny Sign
Today’s Newspaper Fail
Pic of the Day:
Today’s Cute Shot #1:
Today’s Cute Shot #2:
Funny English
Did They Say It?
Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:
Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines
Today’s Funny Sayings
Today’s Stupid Questions:
~ Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
~ Why do we wear a “pair” of shorts if we are just wearing one?
Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:
~ The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. — George Carlin
~ An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an “Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order” sign, just “Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.” — Mitch Hedberg
Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)
~ Are you Jamaican because your Jamaican me crazy.
~ well there’s the exit…will u go out with me?
Today’s Puns:
~ When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.
~ A boiled egg is hard to beat.
Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:
~ He’s so tight you could shove a quarter up his ass and he’d grind it into a dime.
~ Sounds like a cow pissing on a flat rock
Today’s Jokes
~ Hannu wants everything to be perfect for his anniversary trip to the hotel where he and his wife honeymooned 30 years earlier. So he gets there a day early to make all the arrangements. That night, he e-mails her but misspells the address and it goes to a recent widow. The next day, the widow’s son finds his mother passed out in front of her computer. On the screen is this e-mail: “My darling wife, I’ve just gotten here and everything’s set for your arrival tomorrow. I hope your trip down here will be as pleasant as mine. “P.S. It’s really hot!”
~ A man and his nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.
The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150.”
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, “Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?”
The man replied, “Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead.” Shaking his head, he continued, “I just can’t take that chance.”
Today’s Word Games
Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:
Today’s Riddle:
Today’s Crossword, Sukoku and Hangman:
Back Page
Today’s Funny Song from Songdrops.com:
Today’s Dilbert. Here’s your daily dose of Dilbert:
Celebrity Birthdays:
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Section: Quick Break
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