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Today’s Quick Break: March 17, 2010:
Today’s Funny Pics
Today’s Funny Sign
Today’s Newspaper Fail
Pic of the Day:
Today’s Cute Shot #1:
Today’s Cute Shot #2:
Funny English
Did They Say It?
Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:
Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines
Today’s Funny Sayings
Today’s Stupid Questions:
~ How do you know when you’ve run out of invisible ink?
~ What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:
~ A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. — Steven Wright
~ Laurie got offended that I used the word “puke.” But to me, that’s what her dinner tasted like. — Jack Handy
Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)
~ Here I will make things easy. I’ll give you my phone and I’ll call you.
~ You might as well sleep with me because I’m going to tell everyone we did anyway!
Today’s Puns:
~ Nylons give women a run for their money.
~ If you give some managers an inch they think they’re a ruler.
Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:
~ He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees!
~ He’s uglier than the east end of a horse headed west
Today’s Jokes
~ Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby.
“I can’t leave,” the doctor says. “But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.”
The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. “What did the doctor say?” the victim cries.
“He says you’re gonna die.”
~ Nearing the end, Stanislaw is surrounded by loved ones. As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, “I must tell you my greatest secret.” His family urges him to go on.
“Before I got married, I had it all,” Stanislaw explains. “Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me, ‘Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you’re on your deathbed.’ So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds. And now here we are. And you know what?”
“What?”
“I’m not even thirsty!”
Today’s Word Games
Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:
Today’s Riddle:
Today’s Crossword, Sukoku and Hangman:
Back Page
Today’s Funny Song from Songdrops.com:
Today’s Dilbert. Here’s your daily dose of Dilbert:
Celebrity Birthdays:
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Section: Quick Break
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