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Today’s Quick Break: March 15, 2010:
Today’s Funny Pics
Today’s Funny Sign
Today’s Newspaper Fail
Pic of the Day:
Today’s Cute Shot #1:
Today’s Cute Shot #2:
Funny English
Did They Say It?
Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:
Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines
Today’s Funny Sayings
Today’s Stupid Questions:
~ When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?
~ Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn’t usually wear any pants?
Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:
~ Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. — Steven Wright
~ If you’re robbing a bank and you’re pants fall down, I think it’s okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny. — Jack Handy
Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)
~ Hey! I think we might be related!
~ That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
Today’s Puns:
~ You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
~ Farmer Jones had heard that the best milk comes from contented cows. Therefore, he’d visit them every morning and tell them joe-ks. The cows laughed and laughed and gave excellent milk. But the news got around about the cows. They became known as the laughing stock of the community.
Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:
~ I’m serious as a heart attack!
~ Well if that don’t put pepper in the gumbo!
Today’s Jokes
~ A blonde, looking to earn some extra money, decided to offer her services as a “handy woman” and started canvassing an affluent nearby neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
“Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,” he said, “How much will you charge me?”
The blonde quickly responded, “How about $100?”
The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need were in the garage.
The man’s wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?”
He responded, “She was just up here, how could she have missed it?”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” the husband asked.
“Yes,” the blonde replied, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $100 and handed it to her.
“And by the way,” the blonde added, “it’s not a Porsche, it’s a Lexus.”
~ I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Today’s Word Games
Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:
Today’s Riddle:
Today’s Crossword, Sukoku and Hangman:
Back Page
Today’s Funny Song from Songdrops.com:
Today’s Dilbert. Here’s your daily dose of Dilbert:
Celebrity Birthdays:
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