Today’s Quick Break: July 26, 2010:

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Today’s Quick Break: July 26, 2010:

Today’s Funny Pics

Today’s Funny Sign

Today’s Newspaper Fail

Pic of the Day:

Today’s Cute Shot #1:

Today’s Cute Shot #2:

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Funny English

Did They Say It?

Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:

Funny Newspaper Headlines:

~ William Kelly was fed secretary

~ Milk drinkers are turning to powder

~ Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted

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Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines

Today’s Funny Sayings

~ “It’s a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.”—Franklin P. Jones

~ If you notice this notice, you’ll notice this notice is not worth noticing.

Today’s Stupid Questions:

~ Does a man-eating shark eat women, too?

~ Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?

Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:

~ There are two types of people in this world: good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. — Woody Allen

~ What’s another word for Thesaurus? — Steven Wright

Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)

~ Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!

~ Hi. So, smile if you want to sleep with me.

Today’s Puns:

~ A zoo had too many panda bears, so they built a pandemonium.

~ The drunk said I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:

~ It’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table!

~ They’re like two cheeks on an ass, the only thing they have in common is a fart.

Today’s Jokes

~ A young man called directory assistance. “Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona.”
“There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix,” the operator replied. “Do you have a street name?”
The young man hesitated, and then said, “Well, most people call me Ice Man.”

~ Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really upset.
She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!”
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.

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