Today’s Quick Break: July 25, 2010:

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Today’s Quick Break: July 25, 2010:

Today’s Funny Pics

Today’s Funny Sign

Today’s Newspaper Fail

Pic of the Day:

Today’s Cute Shot #1:

Today’s Cute Shot #2:

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Funny English

Did They Say It?

Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:

Funny Insurance Claim Excuses:

~ An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.

~ When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

~ The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over.

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Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines

Today’s Funny Sayings

~ You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.

~ Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.

Today’s Stupid Questions:

~ If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

~ Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?”

Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:

~ My snake bite emergency kit is a body bag. — Mitch Hedberg

~ The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. — George Carlin

Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)

~ Smells like I’m not the only one who hasn’t showered recently. Shall we?

~ Oh no, I’m choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!

Today’s Puns:

~ Old grocers never die, they just get shelved.

~ An office with many people and few electrical outlets could be in for a power struggle.

Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:

~ If a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his butt

~ It’s drier than happy hour at the Betty Ford clinic!

Today’s Jokes

~ Two guys are moving about in a supermarket when their carts collide.

One says to the other, “I’m sorry – I was looking for my wife.”"What a coincidence, so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.”

“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?”

“She’s beautiful, long hair, amazing face, tall, long legs, firm body, high heals and black stockings.

What’s your wife look like?”

“Never mind, I’ll help you find yours!”

~ An old couple is sitting in church one morning, listening to a sermon, when the wife whispers, “Honey, I just now silently passed some gas. What should I do?”
Her husband whispers back, “Well, for starters, you can put a new battery in your hearing aid.”

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