Today’s Quick Break: February 9, 2010:

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Today’s Quick Break: February 9, 2010:

Funny English

Today’s Funny Sign

Today’s Newspaper Fail

Did They Say It?

Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:

Funny English Subtitles from Hong Kong Movies:

~ “I threat you! I challenge you meet me on the roof tonight for a duet!”

~ “I will kill you until you are dead from it!”

~ “The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?”

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Funny Pis and Vids

Pic of the Day:

Today’s Cute Shot #1:

Today’s Cute Shot #2:

Today’s Funny Song from Songdrops.com:

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Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines

Today’s Funny Sayings

~ Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

~ This will be a memorable month — no matter how hard you try to forget.

Today’s Stupid Questions:

~ What is shaved ice? Did it have hair on it before it was shaved?

~ Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?

Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:

~ I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else. — Lily Tomlin

~ Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic’? — Peter Kay

Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)

~ I would say God bless you but it looks like He already did.

~ do you know CPR? Because you just took my breath away.

Today’s Puns:

~ The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

~ Cats are often the victims of fur-ball abuse.

Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:

~ Not the sharpest spoon in the drawer

~ If a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his butt

Today’s Jokes

~ The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. “What is your name?” was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.

“John,” the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, “Look, I don’t know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only – Smith, Jones, Baker – that’s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?”

The new guy sighed and said, “Darling. My name is John Darling.”

“Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is…”

~ Two lawyers are leaving the office. “I can’t wait to get home,” says one of them. “As soon as I walk in the door, I’m going to rip my wife’s panties right off.”
“I know the feeling,” the other says.
“No, I’m serious,” says the first. “They’ve been killing me all day.”

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