Today’s Quick Break: February 8, 2010:

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Today’s Quick Break: February 8, 2010:

Funny English

Today’s Funny Sign

Today’s Newspaper Fail

Did They Say It?

Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:

Funny Church Bulletin Mistakes:

~ Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

~ Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.

~ The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: “Break Forth Into Joy.”

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Funny Pis and Vids

Pic of the Day:

Today’s Cute Shot #1:

Today’s Cute Shot #2:

Today’s Funny Song from Songdrops.com:

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Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines

Today’s Funny Sayings

~ Honk If Anything Falls Off.

~ Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.

Today’s Stupid Questions:

~ If there is an extra small and an extra large, why isn’t there an extra medium?

~ How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:

~ I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. — Emo Philips

~ Is French kissing in France just called kissing? — Peter Kay

Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)

~ Hey, do u have like one minute? I want to hit on u.

~ If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.

Today’s Puns:

~ A pet store had a bird contest with no perches necessary.

~ Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it all.

Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:

~ he’s just a hole in search of a donut

~ He’s busier than a one-legged man at a butt-kickin contest!

Today’s Jokes

~ A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next
day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
“You can have mine.”

~ Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of MIT, “What starting salary were you thinking about?” The Engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years – say, a red Corvette?” The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”

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