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Today’s Quick Break: February 7, 2010:
Funny English
Today’s Funny Sign
Today’s Newspaper Fail
Did They Say It?
Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:
That’s me.
Were you present when that picture was taken?
Yes.
How many were boys?
None.
Were there girls?
Funny Pis and Vids
Pic of the Day:
Today’s Cute Shot #1:
Today’s Cute Shot #2:
Today’s Funny Song from Songdrops.com:
Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines
Today’s Funny Sayings
Today’s Stupid Questions:
~ Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
~ Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:
~ If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked? — George Carlin
~ Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it. — Ellen DeGeneres
Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)
~ Hi. I bet you 50 bucks I’m easier than you are.
~ well there’s the exit…will u go out with me?
Today’s Puns:
~ A tatoo artist has designs on his clients.
~ This company had a real superior product in its butter substitute, but the company went under one time when it received an order for a million pounds of the stuff. Some of the employees made mistakes in preparing the product and much of it was wasted. They were not able to deliver in time. The company had not allowed enough margarine for error.
Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:
~ Gone to hell in a hand basket
~ She’s resting in peace in the marble orchard.
Today’s Jokes
~ The seven-year old girl told her mom, “A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.”
“Oh, dear,” the mother nervously sighed. “What happened, honey?”
“Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.”
~ There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.
He was saying, “Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale.”
A minister walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.
The kid said, “I caught them at the dam, so they’re dam fish.”
The minister bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.
His wife looked at him and said “What’s with the bad mood, honey?”
The minister explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the minister asked his son to pass him the dam fish.
His son replied, “That’s the spirit dad. Pass the #&$*ing potatoes!”
Today’s Word Games
Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:
Today’s Riddle:
Today’s Crossword Puzzle:
Today’s Sudoku Puzzle:
Today’s Hangman:
Back Page
Today’s Random Flash Games from the InnocentEnglish Arcade (Shortcut: LOL22.com)
There are no mines but broken baubles instead!
Today’s Dilbert. Here’s your daily dose of Dilbert:
Celebrity Birthdays:
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Section: Quick Break
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